


Soul Eater

by purplemonster



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M, Soul Bond, Soul Eater AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-21 06:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10679178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplemonster/pseuds/purplemonster
Summary: Soul Eater AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> But also not entirely Soul Eater AU. Not everything in Soul Eater* is applied in this story. I made up and added a bunch of things.
> 
> No heavy smut. Only small mentions of it. And I don't know whether this belongs in the fantasy or supernatural category. Maybe in between. Definitely a love story.
> 
> *Soul Eater is a manga and has an anime based off of it

Oh Sehun is born on a fine spring afternoon, the kind where one would think how the day can’t get any more perfect. Sehun's mother is reading a book out in the garden, a favorite past time she and her husband do these days. Sehun's father had just stepped foot inside the house to refill the pitcher of water when he hears the glass his wife was holding earlier break as it slips from her grip along with a small gasp coming from her.

"Is it time?" He asks, looking at his wife with so much concern and love, both of their hands holding on to her belly.

Sehun's mother chuckles through her heavy breathing.

"I think it is."

All of Sehun's family are there to welcome him into the world after hours of a very painful delivery. But before his parents could present him to all his aunts and uncles and grandparents and cousins, Sehun's father takes a few solitary moments with his new family.

"He's beautiful," He says, giving his wife and his new born son a loving kiss on the forehead.

Sehun's mother smiles through her tears as she holds her bundle of happiness close. Sehun makes a small sound and yawns, making his mother and father lean in closer to admire this precious gift on this perfect day.

"He is."

"He's going to do great things."

Sehun's mother nods.

"Death will be so proud."

 

 

 

Sehun is nine when his parents realize there's something different about him.

They're called into the principal's office. A classmate had made fun of him being too tall and gangly and Sehun had knocked him off his seat and punched his face.

His parents are called in for two reasons. One being the obvious that Sehun had started the fight and the other one a bit more serious and alarming.

"Are you sure?" His mother asks the principal, worry etched on her face while Sehun's father had confusion written all over his.

"That can't be right," His father says, brow pulled together as he stares at his son sitting just outside the office with his back to them, his son's head lowered as he stares at the ground. "Sehun can't... He can't fight."

The principal places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I suggest you have him assessed this early,” He says, eyeing the kid cautiously. “I can't have a weapon sitting in my class."

 

 

 

Sehun is in the middle of highschool when he gets into another fight. But this one isn't so surprising. He has had a dozen fights ever since he was nine and this one is considered a mild one. One of the kids at school took a freshman's lunch and Sehun wanted to do something about it.

"I just pushed him inside his locker," Sehun explains to his parents from the backseat as they pick him up from school. "He wasn't even hurt!"

"That is not the point," His mother replies.

Sehun thinks it is the point. His parents are always frowning at him whenever he gets sent to the principal's office and he can understand why. Who wants a kid as a troublemaker anyway? But Sehun isn’t a troublemaker and he isn't one to just stand there when some kid is bullying other students. He's tall and stronger than most of the kids his age. Can't his parents see he's helping them?

"Then why am I being transferred?" Sehun asks, slamming the car doors shut and following his father up their house. "Why are you making this such a big deal?"

"Because you're not supposed to be fighting!" His father answers, whirling around to look Sehun in the eye, looking absolutely furious and distraught that Sehun is stunned, biting back whatever argument he has ready to give.

They don't talk much about it again. Sehun doesn't even try to explain himself anymore. He doesn’t question their decision to transfer him to another school. A different one. A special one. One that has a dormitory where he can stay and room with the other students.

Sehun doesn’t question anything. Even when the papers for his new school are fully signed and handed over to the new principal.

Even when the principal’s parting words to him and his parents - “Sehun is going to do well with us” - seem confusing.

 

 

 

It doesn’t take long for Sehun to realize _what_ he is. His subjects are straightforward that when Sehun goes through them for a month, he finally understands why he was sent here.

But it doesn’t make sense. Even when Sehun understands now why he’s here. Everything doesn’t make sense. He’s born into a family with a different kind of status for generations. They were born to lead and to command.

They weren’t born to _fight_.

And yet Sehun was sent here.

Sehun tries to call his parents to tell them all this is a mistake. He is just like his mother and father. His aunt and uncles. His cousins. His grandparents. He’s not what they think he is. He doesn’t have it in him to be what they think he is.

But his parents never answer his calls. They don’t reply to his letters. They don’t even answer the door when Sehun sneaks away from school to come and visit them because they never visit him.

_“You’re not supposed to be fighting!”_

An image of his father yelling this at him, the look of distaste and fury in his eyes, has Sehun finally come to his senses after a few days.

Because it doesn’t take much to know that his family sees him as a disgrace.

 

 

 

It takes a while for Sehun to accept who he is even if this new life fits him so comfortably. This life that he never even dreamed he could live. He gets to do what he’s good at and no one bullies him for being too tall, too fast and strong.

Not once has he ever entertained the thought of being able to fight but here he is living every single day of his life training for it. He always knew he would be like his mother and father and all his other relatives. But apparently, he’s meant to do other things.

Sehun doesn’t call his parents up anymore. He doesn’t write them letters nor visit them. He doesn’t expect them to visit him even when he graduates in a month.

It’s been four years. He’s one of the most toughest, fastest, strongest in his class. He fits right in and no one sends him to the principal’s office when he knocks out a few of his classmates during training.

But even if it is easy, even if he finds this kind of life suited for him, Sehun still longs to be with his family. He wants to see his mother and father’s proud faces someday. To see them welcome him back home. That even if he isn’t one of them, at least, he’ll be the strongest of his own kind.

And everyone knows that the only way to become the strongest is to be able to earn the right to stand beside Death.

So he makes it a point to be scouted. Because his kind needs to be trained. His kind needs a _meister_.

And Sehun only wants the best meister so he can become the best weapon.

After all, becoming the best weapon is the only way his parents will be proud of him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater au

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no, you don't need to read/watch the original soul eater to understand all this. if you're still confused, you're supposed to be :)

Everyone’s first impression of Luhan is sweet.

He’s nice and kind and sweet and that’s because Luhan looks like all those things. With his tiny frame, doe eyes and pretty face, Luhan looks like your usual friendly neighbor or the cute boy behind the cash register who signs your name correctly on your coffee cup with a smile or the guy behind the mic on Saturday afternoons singing you sweet love songs.

Not the kind who would beat up thugs and muggers and leave them bleeding on the ground, unable to utter a word for their jaw has been dislocated and their ribs crushed.

No. No one expects Luhan as a weapon.

But that is who Luhan is. Aside from being the guy who hands you your coffee with a smile and sings you sweet love songs, he is a weapon. He’s a weapon and one of the most skilled weapon the academy has. His innocent looks help hide his identity and he uses it a lot to his advantage. Including tricking his new opponents during training to make them think he’s weak.

“That’s cheating.” Kris, Luhan’s friend at the academy, once said to him. “Your face cheats.”

Luhan always laughs it off and treats Kris to coffee from where he works to shut him up.

Anyone who ever messes with Luhan finds their faces on the ground or with a broken arm or jaw. They learn not to hit on him rudely, call him names or treat his friends lightly. They wouldn’t want to go home bloodied and bruised.

But not everyone knows that. Especially not the poor passer by who was attempting to help save Luhan from being mugged one night only to just get in the way and have his face socked by Luhan himself.

“I am so sorry,” Luhan apologizes, crouching down to see if he’s alright once Luhan is done sending the mugger unconscious. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” The stranger says, wincing as he feels blood trickle down his nose. “I think.”

Luhan helps him back inside the coffee shop to treat the stranger’s black eye (after letting the authorities clean up the mess and take the mugger away) but there’s not much Luhan can do except help clean the blood on his nose and make sure the ice pack stays on.

“You sure don’t look like a weapon,” The stranger says as Luhan makes him some hot chocolate to make up for all the damage.

“Why?” Luhan asks, giving him a plate filled with cookies too and then jokes, “Because I look pretty?”

“Yeah,” The stranger answers sheepishly and Luhan finds the red on his cheeks cute when he’s embarrassed.

“I’m Luhan,” Luhan says with a smile, not even offended that this person thought he was pretty when he hates being seen like that most of the time.

“Yixing,” The stranger smiles back. Or tries to since his face still hurts.

Luhan laughs as Yixing just ends up cringing.

 

 

 

Luhan meets Yixing again two weeks later at the academy he goes to. Yixing is the new transfer student and even if Luhan is already a few years ahead of him, the principal places Yixing in the same year as him.

“He’s a gifted one,” The students whisper as he arrives.

“I’ve heard his talents are exceptional.”

“He’s cute.”

They end up being seatmates at first and then friends after two minutes when Luhan teases him about that night Yixing tried to 'save' his life.

“Yeah I was hoping you wouldn’t remember,” Yixing smiles, still embarrassed about that.

“Oh I think I’ll remember that for a long long time,” Luhan snickers at him making Yixing blush profusely throughout the rest of first period.

Without the bloody nose and the bruise in his eye, Yixing is a handsome boy with the cutest dimpled smile that makes both the girls and the guys at the academy swoon.

And he is exceptional. Yixing is extremely powerful and fast in a different kind of way. Where Luhan uses his strength, Yixing uses his intellect. Where Luhan uses his skills and throws swift kicks and punches, Yixing uses his best judgement and quick thinking. His senses are keen and sharp that he’s able to perceive things and can guess what his opponent’s next move is going to be.

And most of the time, Yixing is always right.

Luhan and Yixing both excel in their own field that it isn’t a surprise when Luhan asks him to be his meister over lunch one day.

“You’re picking me?” Yixing asks, his eyes widening and Luhan hands him a tissue to wipe off that bit of rice stuck near his bottom lip.

“Why are you so surprised?” Luhan puts his chopsticks down to talk to him better. “I think we’re a good match.”

Yixing seems to think so too.

“We need to have a link though,” He replies. “You know this can’t work without a proper link.”

“We’re friends,” Luhan smiles. “I think that’s the only link we need.”

Yixing agrees, grinning back at him that Luhan can’t help but reach out and poke his dimples with his chopsticks.

 

 

 

They excel as expected. With Yixing’s brains and Luhan’s ability to fight, they become the top students at the academy.

It wasn’t easy. Working as a team took some time to adjust. But it was fun and Luhan has never had this much fun and passion in doing what he’s meant to do. He used to think it was effortless. He’s fine on his own. He didn’t need training. Hell, he didn’t even think there could ever be a person who can control him. A person suited to be his meister. One that can tell him what to do and command him to move in a fight and can share the same thoughts as him. One that he can deeply trust because a weapon must always render himself completely to his meister.

But there is one and it’s Yixing.

“You guys are perfect together,” Kris comments as they walk through the hallways for their next class.

“I know, right?” Luhan beams, swinging his backpack along. “He just knows how to handle a fight. He knows what to do right before they attack and every command he gives me-”

“No,” Kris replies, cutting Luhan off with a knowing smile. “I meant that you two are _really_ perfect together.”

It takes Luhan a few seconds to get what Kris is saying and the puzzled look on his face is replaced with amusement.

“What?” Luhan laughs. “Me and Yixing?”

Luhan continues to laugh while Kris just shakes his head, still with that knowing smile on his face before turning on another corridor to get to his own class.

“That’s funny!” Luhan yells behind him, still laughing as he enters another classroom.

“What’s funny?” Yixing asks as Luhan takes the seat beside him.

“Kris,” Luhan snorts, taking out his notes. “Kris said you and I are- “

Luhan looks at him and the amusement on his face slowly fades.

Yixing looks like his usual self today. His hair is messily put together, probably from getting to class in a rush. He’s wearing his glasses today too and Luhan knows that’s because he doesn’t have the patience to put on his contacts when he’s in a hurry. He’s wearing his favorite jacket over his plaid shirt and twirling his pen in his hand and he looks just like the usual Yixing that Luhan always sees.

Except that Luhan sees something else. Something different. And Luhan will blame this on Kris’s words later on and how they’re seated near the windows so the sun is hitting Yixing’s face perfectly. And it doesn’t even matter so much that Yixing has a slight acne problem these days due to the stress of exams coming up. Luhan just sees Yixing really _really_ differently.

“Luhan?” Yixing asks, nudging him with his knee under the table and Luhan jolts out from that very confusing moment.

“What did Kris say that was funny?”

Luhan blinks back at his surroundings and scrunches up his face at his notes.

What _did_ Kris say that was so funny?

“I’m not sure.” Is all Luhan can reply.

 

 

 

Maybe that was all it took. A few words from Kris for Luhan to open his eyes a little bit and see his friend, his meister, in a new light.

And it worked. Somehow, it worked because that’s all Luhan can think about now. He thinks about how Yixing is very attractive with his hair tousled as he studies all sprawled out on the foot of his bed and how he likes it when Yixing doesn’t forget to pull the covers up to his chin before he leaves his room when Luhan falls asleep first. He thinks Yixing looking confused a lot of times is cute and then finds it sexy when they’re out in trainings instructing Luhan what to do with that fierce gaze in his eyes and his tone coming out all commanding.

He thinks about how he and Yixing are perfect together. And they are perfect together. They’re great as a team and as friends. They may not like the same things but they get along really well. Luhan may be irresponsible and aloof but Yixing balances that out well with how in control he is.

But as Luhan thinks deeper about it, he doesn’t think how they’re great as just friends.

He hates how he sees Yixing like this. It’s messing up his concentration and his friendship with him. Luhan doesn’t want that to happen. He cannot destroy what he has with his meister all because of some stupid crush.

“A stupid crush?” Yixing asks him one night as they’re studying in his room. They’re seated cross-legged facing each other in the middle of Yixing’s small bed. They’re quizzing each other on their upcoming exams but he can’t concentrate at how his heart is beating fast whenever Yixing inches forward to peer at the notes Luhan is holding if he got his answers right and his face is so close to his or when he bumps his knees near his thigh. Luhan has had enough of all these feelings and blushing every now and then that he decides right there to break off being friends with Yixing.

Because Luhan is smart and this is the smartest thing he can think of.

“Yes,” Luhan says, tossing his notes aside. “We can’t be friends anymore.”

Yixing looks at him. “Because you have a crush.”

Luhan nods.

“A stupid crush.”

Luhan nods one more time.

“On me.”

“Yes,” Luhan sighs, getting off the bed. “It’s a stupid crush and I’m not really up for anything stupid right now. We’re graduating, Xing. I can’t deal with this at the moment-”

Luhan is suddenly pulled down to Yixing’s eye level and Yixing doesn’t even give him enough time to process what’s about to happen when he presses his lips softly to his.

It takes a couple of seconds for Luhan to breathe and open his eyes and focus. And when he does so, he sits back down on the bed because his legs are a little wobbly. Yixing’s hand on his arm feels nice and soothing and Luhan swallows hard when he just smiles at him.

“How about this,” Yixing starts, leaning back and putting their notes back together. “We go back to studying so we can ace this year and graduate. And then after exams, why don’t we grab a cup of coffee downtown and talk about this stupid crush you have and how I’ve had it too ever since you punched me in the face all those years ago.”

Luhan blinks back at him. “You…”

Yixing just waves the notes in his face. “You still have to enumerate all the grappling techniques.”

They ace their exams that week and graduate as the top two students in their class that year.

Another week later, Yixing kisses Luhan properly just outside their house after that coffee date he promised him and Luhan doesn’t think it’s a stupid crush after all.

 

 

 

Luhan stares blankly at the person Kris is pointing to him across the field. He’s tall and lanky. Not much muscle can be seen and Luhan doubts he’d make a good weapon.

“His name is Sehun.” Kris says to him and Luhan only stares at the boy sitting there without feeling anything for him. He’s here to find a weapon. Someone to train. Someone to command.

Someone who can bring back what he has lost.

He’s not here to feel anything for anyone.

“He graduated as one of the top in his class and needs a meister.”

Luhan doesn’t take one more look at this kid as he turns around to head back.

“I’ll take him,” He says.

“He’s going to be stubborn,” Kris explains as they both walk away. “I taught him in my class once.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Luhan,” Kris places a hand on his friend’s shoulder to stop him in his tracks. Luhan does so but doesn’t turn to look at him. He can tell his friend is concerned about him but these days, Luhan doesn’t want concern from anybody.

“Picking up where you left off isn’t going to be the same thing. It’s been years. You’re not a weapon anymore.”

Luhan knows that. But he doesn’t care. All he needs is a weapon worthy of bringing him back to his feet again.

“You need a link for this to work,” Kris continues. “You barely even know him yet and you’re already agreeing to this-”

“Does he want to stand by Death’s side?” Luhan asks. This is the only thing he needs to know. The rest don’t matter to him.

Kris seems reluctant to reply instantly but in the end, he gives him an answer.

“More than anything, yes.”

Luhan shrugs off his friend’s hand on his shoulder.

“Then that’s the only link I need,” He mutters under his breath, not waiting for Kris to follow as he walks away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not all chaps are in order at first. The concept goes back and forth.

It’s hard to explain where everything begins. No one knows how it all started anyway. A lot of people believe that life begins and ends with Death. And that’s sort of true. From the beginning of time, it has been known that Death has the ability to give someone a new life or take it away from them. But most of the time, it’s the latter.

And it isn’t bad. Death isn’t bad. Death serves as a protector, a warrior, a savior. People turn to Death for help and Death has never turned a blind eye on them. People trust Death with their lives. Because Death is composed of many things but bad.

But where there is good, there is evil and although it is natural for a world to exist with these two for there should be some sort of balance, one must be able to separate it. Because evil spreads faster than anything else. It seeps into a good person’s core turning an innocent and pure soul into a rotten one.

And that’s what Death does. Death takes the evil souls to protect the good. Death fights to keep them from contaminating everything in sight. Death saves the lives of those who are in danger from all evil so the world doesn’t turn out to be a dangerous place to live in.

And for a time, it was good. Death handled everything.

For a time.

Because evil is cunning. Evil is smart and knows how to survive. It found a way to spread even faster through wars and poverty and corruption. It multiplied into all the corners of the world until Death couldn’t handle it all alone.

So Death decided to share his gifts. Death decided that it would be better if there were people, good people, who fought alongside with him. They would be Death’s loyal and humble servants, ready to lay their lives on the line to fight against evil.

He called them meisters. They’re known to command and to lead a fight. They’re quick thinkers and intelligent and they’re very skilled in perceiving things. Their strength isn’t through their fists but what’s inside their heads making them a good match for how smart evil is.

Death also knew this wasn’t enough so he gave them weapons. Each meister is allowed a weapon to use in a fight. Meisters control their weapons, instructing them what to do and how to go about taking these souls. These weapons are strong and fast and skilled in a fight causing harm and enough damage to their enemies.

Both meisters and weapons are exceptional in their own ways and together, they make a powerful team. What makes them powerful is the link that they share. Love, friendship, determination. It varies for each team. Links between meisters and weapons help them communicate during a fight. Meisters give out their commands inside their heads and weapons can hear them, putting into action what they’re taught to do. Sharing the same passion and goal to destroy evil is what makes a meister and a weapon exceptional.

And because Death is generous, he rewards them in the end. Weapons who have gathered a certain number of souls and a witch (since witches are considered the most highest form of evil) earn a right to stand by Death’s side. They become the ultimate weapon, a scythe, that Death uses in his own fights. It is every weapon’s dream to be able to fight alongside Death. It is the highest form of honor for a weapon and only with the help of a meister can this be achieved.

Meisters are given ranks as well. A meister must rise up to three levels to be able to earn the title of becoming Death’s loyal servant. It is through them that weapons can be scythes. A weapon is just a simple tool that can never be sharpened without a meister commanding them what to do. So Death requires these meisters to train them. A meister that can help his weapon capture ninety-nine souls and a witch in that order will be able to earn a level three status.

Young meisters and weapons are trained at the academy that develops their skills until they graduate. Some form their own teams at a young age while others find them later on in life. Upon graduating, teams are scouted and dispatched on their missions and lead a life of servitude for Death.

But this system isn’t perfect for humans aren’t perfect. Humans have flaws. And even though Death has turned meisters and weapons into exceptional human beings, they’re still humans deep in their bones. Their flaws come in the form of jealousy, no matter how good they are for Death only chooses the good people, and somehow, within this system, discrimination happens. Distinguished meisters in some old and respected families who have earned their ranks as did their children and their children’s children, think highly of themselves and sees weapons as someone below them. Some weapons are no different. They see meisters as weak and lazy. They deem them useless in a fight and are only dependent on weapons to protect themselves.

Death knows these things and although it saddens him that the people he entrusted his gifts to think that way to each other, many more meisters and weapons prove that the system is still good. They coexist together in harmony and even the most lasting friendships are made between a meister and a weapon.

In the end, it’s all worth it.

In a way, Death also gives life. This new life, whether a blessing or a curse, that he bestows upon meisters and weapons are important and they’re considered as outstanding men and women in the end who fight against evil. It is a life filled with challenges and sacrifices but is also a life filled with honor.

It is a life that Sehun believes he must live in order to become a scythe so he can earn his parents’ acceptance.

And for Luhan, it is a life he must live to earn back what he has lost.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

“I hate him.”

Sehun plops down beside Jongin and lays his head on his lap.

“Move. You’re squishing my lunch,” Jongin whines, already pouting over the loss of his still unwrapped sandwich underneath Sehun’s head and shoving him to Tao’s lap.

“I hate him,” Sehun huffs out again as he stares up at Tao who just looks down at him as he sucks on the straw of his juice box.

“I hate Luhan,” Sehun stresses out again when no one seems to be listening to him. “Does anyone here hate their meister?”

They’re supposed to be inside the cafeteria since eating lunch outside the designated areas are prohibited. But Sehun, Jongin and Tao have never followed the rules. They don’t have to anyway. They’ve already graduated from the academy. They’re under a different program now. A far more serious program than the ones they were taught throughout the years. But they’re still staying around the academy’s grounds where eating lunch outside under the shade of a tree is prohibited and to which none of them really care anymore.

“No,” Tao answers, crumpling his empty juice box to toss it to the trash later on. “Kyungsoo’s nice.”

Sehun doesn’t understand how Kyungsoo can be nice but waves away that comment.

“Yeah. Kyungsoo’s nice,” Jongin adds dreamily making Sehun and Tao look at him.

“What?” He asks, raising his sandwich halfway. It’s no secret what Jongin feels for his meister since the day Kyungsoo scouted him and Tao. Sehun thinks it’s amazing for a meister to be able to handle two weapons at the same time and not know the link one of them shares with him. Or maybe Kyungsoo does know. Sehun can never tell what Do Kyungsoo is thinking.

Both Sehun and Tao shake their heads leaving Jongin to shrug and continue eating his sandwich.

“Can Kyungsoo take on one more weapon?” Sehun picks on a blade of grass on the ground and angrily tears it apart. “I’m done with Luhan.”

“He can’t be that bad.” Tao says, running his fingers through Sehun’s hair.

“He is,” Sehun replies and sits up to stare at Tao. “I had five hours of judo today. At four in the morning. Straight. Does Kyungsoo make you do five hours of judo?”

Jongin nods and happily replies. “Last time he gave us six.”

Sehun stares at his friend wondering what is wrong with him.

“Are you complaining about the five hours of judo or the one hour dedicated to meditation before your training starts,” Tao snickers.

“Meditating is hard,” Sehun stresses out. “Sitting still and being quiet is hard.”

Tao just continues to judge him and Sehun plops himself back on his lap.

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” Tao says to him as he continues playing with his hair. “You should be honored that you get to train under Luhan.”

“Yeah,” Jongin joins in, crumpling his sandwich wrapper. “Having a meister who knows what it is to be a weapon is kinda cool.”

Sehun knows what they mean. Luhan used to be a weapon long before he became a meister and Sehun has heard from the stories people say how he was good at it. Sehun can’t imagine him being a weapon at first since Luhan looks so frail and tiny. But their first training together as a team changed all that when he was covered in bruises by the end of it.

He hadn’t ask what made Luhan change to become a meister. Sehun presumes he must’ve been an exceptional weapon in the past to be able to change paths like this since not everyone is allowed to do it so easily.

And Sehun hadn’t ask because Luhan doesn’t like talking about it. His meister is a very private person.

“But he doesn’t teach me anything,” Sehun sighs. “He fights with me during trainings but that’s it. He’s not like Kyungsoo who explains and corrects stances. He just gets me to fight over and over again until he feels like i’ve gotten it right.”

“Every meister is different. Just like how every weapon is different,” Jongin smiles at him. “Relax. Luhan’s just sharpening you up for when you two finally get drafted. You’re already good at what you do anyway.”

“But I’m not the best at it,” Sehun pouts. Jongin just gives him another smile that says “we understand” while Tao comforts him by playing with his hair.

He feels guilty then for destroying the usual peace they have during lunch breaks. Sehun knows how his friends are very understanding but lately, it’s as if Sehun has been whining to them a lot. It’s the stress of not being drafted so soon when he thought that being scouted would lead to him finally working on the field. What good is a well experienced meister who trains him when Sehun can’t even use what he learned and harness his skills in a real fight?

“We’ll be drafted soon,” Jongin says quietly, as if to answer his thoughts. “It won’t be long now.”

It won’t be long now.

But for the meantime, he still has to train.

 

 

 

“Again.”

Sehun pants, hands on his knees as he glares at Luhan who’s standing there without a strand of hair out of place. Sehun is all sorts of tired and annoyed and breathless and all he’s thinking about is knocking his meister in front of him to the ground so he can head off and get a good night’s sleep.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sehun breathes, as he straightens up and places his hands on his hips.

“This attitude won’t get you anywhere,” Luhan replies. “How hard is it to tackle me when I’m smaller than you-”

Sehun charges at him and aims for his waist when Luhan moves to his left and takes the upper hand.

Sehun grunts at his hold as Luhan locks him from behind. Luhan may be shorter than him but he still has a good grip around his arms and neck. It starts to get a little too tight, his vision turning blurry that Sehun can’t help but give a choking gasp making Luhan release him.

“I can’t tackle you,” Sehun pants, shaking his head in defeat as he lies there on the ground. “You move way too fast.”

“Is that what you’re going to say when your life is on the line?”

Sehun resists the urge to glare at him as Luhan peers down and smirks at him from above.

“And here I thought you wanted to become a scythe.”

His meister is an _ass_.

Why he even agreed to become this person’s weapon is something he can’t recall at the moment as he lies there spent. What he’s thinking right now is how Luhan is an ass. They’ve been doing different tackling techniques and so far, Sehun has only pinned him down once. It shouldn’t be hard. Sehun is great at pinning down his opponents. He has no problem taking them down in seconds. Only Luhan has been making it harder for him to move around with how they’ve been going at it since four in the morning and the only break he managed to have was when he had lunch with Jongin and Tao.

Sehun glares at the smirk Luhan is giving him but it quickly turns into a scowl as Luhan tosses him a towel which lands on his face.

“I think we’re done for today. I’ll see you tomorrow at four. Don’t be late,” Luhan says and Sehun hides the whine threatening to spill from his lips as he hears him walk towards the door. He’s relieved they’re finally done for today but the thought of getting up to do this all over again at four in the morning isn’t something he’s ecstatic about.

“Mop up the floors and don’t forget to turn the lights off when you leave.”

He doesn’t bid him a goodbye. Instead, Sehun clamps his mouth together and restrains himself from yelling after him.

Sehun doesn’t get it. He and Luhan have been together for three years. And when he means together, he means as a team. Three years of being a weapon to his meister. Three years of training and getting up at odd hours of the day to fight. Three years of getting his ass beaten at the only thing he’s good at. And here Sehun thought that no one was better at this than himself.

At first Sehun thought it was cool to finally have a meister. The thought of finally getting on with his life, to have someone start training him and build him up to start taking as many souls as he can felt like he was taking a giant leap towards becoming a scythe. But so far, it’s just been three years of getting kicked around.

Sehun sits up with a groan, his back sore and his muscles aching for a nice hot bath. He gets up, reaches behind his back to pull up his shirt and tosses it next to his bag and makes a mental note to get started on his laundry.

He starts scrubbing on the floor furiously, all the while thinking how he and Luhan made it work all these years. They share an apartment together, the same as everyone who works with their meisters do. But even if they do live together, living in separate bedrooms, sharing a common bathroom, kitchen and living room, it still feels as if they live separately. Luhan rarely talks to anyone else aside from Kris, Sehun’s professor back at the academy. Sehun presumes that’s because they’re old friends. But aside from anyone else, unless it means business, Luhan doesn’t talk or make any form of conversation. And all these years, Sehun feels like he’s living with a rock.

Everyone knows a meister and a weapon need a link to be able to function together. And for him and Luhan, all they’ve ever had together was the drive and determination to reach the top. They don’t like each other. Nor do they have any sense of friendship. It’s a miracle they still seem to make things work. That Luhan can give out a command and that link between them can make Sehun listen and obey what Luhan tells him to do.

But he’s thankful, Sehun thinks as he finishes mopping up the floors. He’s thankful that of all the links they have, it’s not as deep as the ones he’s seen from the others. Like how Kyungsoo handles Tao and Jongin. Sehun can see that he cares deeply for his weapons and think of them as a part of him. Like an extension of his body. An important extension. Sure he may be harsh on them but it doesn’t take much for anyone to see that it’s because Kyungsoo wants them to be ready when the time comes for them to be drafted.

But him and Luhan... Sehun snorts to himself at the thought of Luhan caring. It would be nice for Luhan to care. But Sehun wouldn’t demand of it. Luhan is ruthless. Luhan is firm and strict and sarcastic at everything Sehun does. And it doesn’t help how Luhan doesn’t talk to him or teach him anything. Not once has Luhan answered any of Sehun’s questions about what’s it like out there, to finally take the souls they’re tasked to do. To be faced at such a life threatening experience and come out of it alive. Luhan only fights and spars with him until Sehun is spent for the day.

Boy was Sehun so wrong for even thinking his meister was nothing but a pretty face.

He’s really thankful that their link is a solid one. That even between them, a meister and a weapon who don’t talk much and loathe each other’s presence (at least for Sehun), their link is strong enough to get them to work as a team. When they’re up against others during trainings and when Luhan uses that link to command Sehun in a fight, Sehun can feel how strong Luhan’s desire and determination is to rise up a level. And likewise, Sehun knows Luhan can feel his own drive at becoming the best weapon.

Sehun tosses the rag by the side as he puts on a new shirt before heading home.

Their link isn’t special, he thinks as he takes one last look at the training ground. Their link doesn’t involve any sort of care or sympathy from the other nor does it even have a tinge of friendship.

Their link means business. It’s simply nothing more than that.

Sehun finishes that thought as he turns off the lights before he leaves.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Death isn’t pleased.

The amount of deaths that’s happened over the past few weeks have risen to an alarming rate. Corrupted souls are roaming around the city so openly along with a few sightings of witches when it’s always impossible for them to be seen.

Death has given out an announcement. Cities around the world must be guarded heavily and every meister and weapon that is well-trained and ready is to be dispatched.

This is how Sehun and Luhan find themselves drafted and Sehun doesn’t hide the fact that he’s excited.

“This is insane,” Sehun whispers, his hushed tone coming out ecstatic beside Jongin as they fill the large hall at the academy where every meister and weapon in the country are called to be registered and where they’re given their license.

“This is crazy,” Sehun continues gleefully when he spots a well known team up ahead. “Everyone is here.”

“Would you stop breathing down the back of my neck and let me find our stations in peace?” Jongin grumbles back at him as he looks around the place. But Sehun ignores him as he digs his fingers around Jongin’s wrist.

“Ow! What now?”

“Zhou Mi and Victoria are here.”

Sehun points to a tall man and woman, looking both strikingly handsome and beautiful by the platform up ahead, greeting and shaking hands with a few people. Even Jongin forgot what they’re here to do having stopped in his tracks to gawk at them. It’s not everyday they get to see a legendary team around.

It seems like every meister and weapon are here. The notable ones, the ones who are on their way to becoming notable and the young and old who are about to be dispatched. Despite the grave issue as to why they’re all here, the hall is filled with so much activity, both jovial and melancholy. Some are here to see the fresh new faces that are to be sent on their missions while the others, aside from registering, are here to see their predecessors.

“Man, I’d give anything to see them in the field,” Jongin breathes. Sehun can only nod at that. He’s heard how a link between twins are so much different, so much stronger. He, like Jongin, would give anything just to watch Zhou Mi and Victoria fight. Pick up a few tips and techniques. Something that can help him out there.

Someone bumps into Jongin’s shoulder sending him bumping back into Sehun. They both look away from the platform to see who it is when they come face to face with an annoyed Tao.

“Where have you guys been?”

Jongin points up at the platform, his face looking a little dazed. “Zhou Mi and Victoria.”

Tao rolls his eyes at him, an image that has Sehun snickering even if he was the one who had been starstruck just minutes earlier.

“Have you forgotten we’re here to register?”

Jongin nods, smiling sheepishly, making Tao sigh.

“Come on.”

Tao takes Jongin by the hand, leading them away from the crowd. Sehun follows behind them, squeezing through bodies to get to their stations.

Luhan and Kyungsoo are waiting for them as they finally make their way out. They’re both deep in discussion, probably talking about the recent announcement Death made. Sehun notices his meister’s eyes furrow at the things he’s hearing from Kyungsoo and is reminded again of how serious this all is.

They both look up as they notice their weapons arriving. Luhan hands Sehun a form as a greeting and tells him to fill it up quick. Jongin and Tao do the same as Kyungsoo hands them theirs.

Sehun is interrupted once in awhile by new visitors arriving. Just after Zhoumi and Victoria, he spots the legendary Yunho and Jaejoong, greeting people close by. Heechul with his two weapons, Siwon and Hangeng arrive a few minutes later and Tao couldn’t stop oggling at them. He had asked Kyungsoo if he can go and have something of his signed. But Kyungsoo wouldn’t let him because Heechul and his weapons seem busy at the moment. He did promise them that they could maybe shake their hands or something in exchange for a signature.

“You are not a hundred and eighty five centimeters,” Luhan says, peering at Sehun’s paper and noticing the height he placed. Sehun grumbles back at him, bringing his attention back to what he’s doing and changing the last digit to two.

He endures more teasings from Luhan. Because Luhan on a good day, likes to tease. Not the kind that Sehun would come to enjoy when it’s mostly just to poke fun at him. Like how he doesn’t weigh much because he has no muscle and “Are you sure you’re twenty something? Are you sure you’re not in your teens?” Sehun tries to get a few jabs of his own in between but mostly, it’s Luhan who ends up winning.

A strange silence fills the hubbub of chatter just a few feet away from Sehun and is replaced with whispers. It’s not enough to catch the whole hall’s attention but it’s enough for all of them nearby to stop whatever they’re doing and look to see whoever or whatever it is. Sehun suspects it’s another team, someone who’s famous. But it’s just an ordinary boy, probably just a few years older than Sehun, making his way through the crowd.

He doesn’t look like he’s from around here. He looks like a traveler. Like he just got here judging from the heavy layer of clothes he’s wearing and the large duffel bag on his shoulder. His hair is slightly disheveled, probably from the cold and the wind from outside. He doesn’t seem to be fazed by anything, as if he knows his way around and he continues on walking, the whole thing so ordinary.

What’s strange though is that people are staring. They’re staring at this boy that’s just walking there. Sehun doesn’t understand why they’re all staring. He doesn’t seem special. He’s not someone famous, or at least, someone Sehun hasn’t seen before. He doesn’t even look the slightest bit familiar to him.

“Is that…?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It must be him.”

“He looks like him.”

“That can’t be him. That can’t be Zhang Yixing.”

Sehun ignores the whispers going on around him as he goes back to his forms. He doesn’t know a Zhang Yixing anyway.

“Hey Luhan,” Sehun prods his meister with his elbow. “What’s my blood type again?”

Sehun is expecting another teasing remark how he keeps forgetting his own blood type when he realizes Luhan doesn’t have his attention on him anymore.

Sehun looks up once more to see Luhan still standing there by his side but he’s just staring at the same person everyone is staring at. Only that Sehun can tell the stare Luhan has is different than the rest. There’s a mixture of confusion in there rather than awe like what everyone has. And maybe a little bit of disdain. He looks kind of surprised too though Sehun isn’t sure.

But mostly, it just looks like Luhan is deep in thought.

Sehun shrugs, going back to his forms. He suddenly remembers he’s an O and he continues filling up the form, ignoring everyone else, ignoring his meister that he hasn’t noticed has grown a little tense and the whispers everyone is continuing to make about this Zhang Yixing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Luhan knows the feeling of dying.

He has experienced it. Twice. But the first time didn’t seem to be as painful as the second time around.

The first time he almost died, it was during his 83rd soul. He’ll always remember the number, what he wore that day, what the skies looked and what the weather felt like. What he did. It’s like something engraved into his head that he can never forget.

They were walking along a path in the woods and it was almost nighttime. The sun had started to set and he and Yixing were walking side by side, talking about the last soul they’d taken. It was silent and peaceful. They were on their way to the next city having heard that rotten souls lived there the most at that time of the year. It would be easier to hunt them down, Luhan had said. Yixing had told him to take it easy. Eighty two souls in just two months was a great accomplishment for the both of them. They should take their time. But Luhan didn’t want to take it easy. They were almost there.

Ninety-nine souls and a witch. Luhan never understood the history behind such numbers and order. But he hadn’t question it either. He never paid any attention during his history classes back at the academy. He never really cared. All he cared about was getting those souls. Getting that witch. And he can finally see through his purpose. To become a scythe. To fight alongside Death. Make his meister proud.

“What if I told you we should go on a vacation?” Yixing had asked him - _teased_ him. Yixing always liked to tease him about being so impatient. Luhan was impatient. Even until now. But back then, he was the type who wanted this whole thing to move forward faster. It was always the adrenaline rush and the excitement of fighting that made him want to go take on another soul.

“We’re already on a vacation,” Luhan had replied, bumping shoulders with Yixing as they walked. “Aren’t we traveling all the time, taking in the scenery, meeting new people and eating good food…”

Yixing laughed. Luhan remembers smiling, loving the sound of it.

“And fighting along the way,” Yixing continued where Luhan trailed off. “Getting bruised, getting our knees and elbows scraped and getting our clothes ripped off.”

“Don’t you mean getting _myself_ bruised and getting _my_ knees and elbows scraped,” Luhan had teased back, reminding Yixing that he does all the fighting.

“I have bruises. I got my clothes ripped off too,” Yixing argued back.

“When?”

“Just last night, before going to bed-”

Luhan had pushed him playfully against the trunk of a nearby tree, swallowing Yixing’s laugh with a kiss.

They were both tired. They started their journey early that morning and they both couldn’t wait to get to an inn, take a nice long hot bath and just curl up in each other’s arms and sleep.

Luhan remembers Yixing humming a sound of contentment as he leaned against the tree. That tree that even until now Luhan would still manage to spot and remember if he ever traveled all the way there again. Yixing had curled his arms around Luhan’s waist and Luhan can still remember the feeling of sinking into his hold, dropping both their bags filled with all their necessities by their feet so they could just hold each other properly and have a moment of solitude.

“We do need a vacation,” Yixing had mumbled along Luhan’s cheek. His breath warm and so is his touch that Luhan melts at his hold.

“When all this is over,” Luhan promised him.

Their moment of solitude lasted for a total of two minutes when Luhan heard a twig snap just a few feet away from them. He should’ve known then to run, pull Yixing along with him. Even as he plays that moment in his head after all these years, Luhan still feels like an idiot for not doing so.

But instead, Luhan had pulled Yixing behind him in an instant, a protective arm covering him as he scanned the area. Because back then Luhan had been very careful even if he was also mostly reckless. It wasn’t his life on the line every time they encountered a fight. It was his and Yixing’s. And between the two of them, Luhan would give anything to keep him safe first.

Yixing had whispered to him that they should get moving and Luhan agreed knowing how if anyone tries to come at them, they’d be at a disadvantage when they’re in the middle of nowhere and it was almost getting dark.

But they weren’t able to make it. Because in that moment, they were met with wandering evil souls and all Luhan could do was prepare himself to fight them off.

They were used to it. Out of all the number of souls they’d taken, Luhan was used to taking them two at a time. Three at most. But that night had been different. That night, there were more than two. Seven, Luhan recalls. There were seven of them emerging from the path and blocking their way to the nearest city.

Yixing had urged him then that they should go back. Find another route. Deal with them at another time and another day. But Luhan didn’t want to back down. He can tell that they wouldn’t make it and who knew what other souls lurked by. They had to fight. He had to fight if they were to survive that night.

Luhan should’ve listened to his meister and turned and ran with him. But he had thought about it, thought about where to attack and who to go at first and a weapon should never think at a time like that. A weapon should have trusted his meister completely and obeyed him. But Luhan didn’t and soon enough he was battling three on his right and four on his left and all the while keeping Yixing at a safe distance while he instructs Luhan what to do.

There were too many of them. He was struck on his ribs and on his chest then later on the side of his head. Luhan still has the gash in his skull, covered by his hair now. And Luhan can still remember the pain of getting devoured and beaten. It was as if the world was slowly turning and Luhan can no longer see anything or hear anything, his ears still ringing at the blow they gave him and the pain in his body growing so intense.

But Luhan didn’t back down. He didn’t stop fighting. Even when Yixing no longer called out commands and orders in his head. Even when Yixing demanded through their link that he retreat, his voice in his head pleading and cracking around the edges, because Luhan is losing. He’s losing blood and time and strength. But Luhan didn’t stop because all he could think about at that moment was not the number of souls to add on the list. It was not his duty to Death that kept him going. It was Yixing and how he needed to protect him, to keep him safe, long enough for him to run into the city and get help.

No one told him the rest of what happened since Luhan blacked out. But he has read from the reports that Yixing had to file (and Yixing had always refrained from talking about it again no matter how many times Luhan asked) and from a team that had been walking along the same path, saw Yixing battling them off by himself, very poorly they added (for a meister only knows a handful of ways to fight them off himself), dragging Luhan’s mangled body away from those souls. If they had arrived a minute later, they wouldn’t have both found them alive.

And that was how Luhan almost died the first time.

Luhan was only able to open his eyes a week after that incident and he found himself in the hospital, alive, safe, Yixing by the side of his bed, a bandage on one side of his cheek and scratches along his arms, eyes wet and red and his whole body trembling.

“Hey,” Luhan had mustered out with a smile. He frowned though when he saw that Yixing had gotten hurt at that fight, the bandages and the scratches to prove it, when it was his duty to protect him. And even if Yixing rarely cried, he did that day, sobbing and burying his face in Luhan’s neck, arms clutching tightly but also carefully at his shoulders.

“I thought… I thought…” Were the only words that came out of Yixing’s lips, voice raspy and heavy and Luhan could only pat his back since he couldn’t hold him any tighter, couldn’t hug him and assure him it was alright with his touches. His body was still recovering. His head still felt heavy. So he had lain there, whispering, even if it also took most of his strength, at how he’s fine, they had made it - _Yixing, it’s okay. Please stop crying. Yixing, I know. I know. I’m sorry._

It took months for Luhan to recover. He had to go through surgery after surgery, treatment and therapy. It was hard to get back on his feet and move like he used to. Yixing was there through it all, telling him to take his time, that there’s no rush. But Luhan bit his lip through it all and made sure he was going to be as good as new.

Luhan ached to get back on the field. It was the only thing that kept running through his head. How he had to get better. For himself. For Death. For Yixing. He had to continue. He had to get his 83rd soul and so on. He didn’t want to let anyone and himself down. He wanted to be a scythe. He wanted Yixing to earn another level. So he endured and pushed himself until he can fight like his old self again.

If Luhan could turn back time, he would probably have stopped and realized that rushing through things was a mistake. To always talk about going back and picking up where he and Yixing left off. He should have taken his time and not spend most of his hours back in the training grounds, preparing himself and making himself stronger and instead, observe the signs of what’s about to come.

He’s cleared for his duties after a year of recovery. And Luhan had ran all the way to his and Yixing’s quarters to tell him the good news. _They handed me my license back! We can go!_ They had been waiting for it, expecting it for almost a year. Luhan has already mapped out the places they’d go in search for more souls and where he can finally get his witch to end it all.

But when Luhan arrived at the door, bursting inside the living room, he sees Yixing dressed like how they’d usually dress when they’re heading out of the city. He has his boots on, his cap in his other hand and a bag on the other although Luhan wondered why it’s bigger than the usual one they’d carry around.

“Oh,” Luhan remembers eyeing the duffel bag Yixing is holding first then looking at him. “I wasn’t expecting we’d leave so soon but alright. I’ll be done packing in about ten minutes-”

“I’m leaving.”

Luhan nodded as he made his way past him to get to their bedroom.

“I know. I’m glad you know too. Word must have come around so fast for it to reach you so soon. I got my license back-”

“Luhan, _I’m_ leaving.”

It was the the tone Yixing used that made Luhan stop and turn around to look at him.

“I’m leaving,” Yixing said one more time when Luhan didn’t seem to understand it. Luhan’s insides had filled with a strange unpleasant feeling at hearing Yixing say that and he should’ve known then what he was going to say so he could’ve stopped him from saying it one more time and Luhan would never have to hear those words in his head at night.

“I’m leaving,” He said again. “I’m leaving you.”

Luhan had only stared at him.

“Why?” He asked dumbly.

“We can’t do this anymore,” Yixing replied. “I don’t think you’re good at this anymore.”

Luhan had already known what he meant. But at that moment it had been easier to play it stupid, to think that Yixing had meant it differently.

“What do you mean?” Luhan had asked. “I’m still the same-”

“You’re not,” Yixing said, his face hard and serious. “You lost, Luhan.”

But still, Luhan continued to play stupid to all those things Yixing said. Because Yixing would never say that to him. Yixing was his meister. Yixing loved him.

“Yixing,”

Yixing shook his head at him.

“I can’t afford to have a weapon that’s so weak.”

Luhan is not weak. And Luhan knows this so well. He is strong and powerful and he can take down anyone and anything in his path. He had a slight lapse in judgement that night. He hadn’t acted properly. But it was just one mistake. Surely Yixing could understand that?

But funny how a single remark from someone you trust and someone you love can turn things differently. Can make you think and believe something so differently.

How it can make you doubt yourself.

“I’m leaving you,” Yixing said a second time as he walked to the door and Luhan, who was bursting of energy just a few minutes earlier felt the life being drained out of him. “I can’t have a weapon that’s holding me down.”

Yixing left him in the middle of their living room, took all his things with him and went on his way without a second glance. Luhan will always remember standing there, looking at the door, wondering if all that happened was a joke. That Yixing would come back and tell him it was a bad joke. But hours passed and the skies turned dark and Luhan had spent the whole night, hugging his knees and thinking how he was weak.

Yixing didn’t come back. Luhan didn’t look for him. He was weak. He was holding him down. He didn’t deserve a meister like Yixing.

And it felt like he was dying all over again. The inability to breathe. That cold feeling filling his insides. He felt so much pain all over but he couldn’t pinpoint the exact location where it hurt. No therapy or surgery can fix a broken heart.

He thought about dying then. When Yixing left him. When his license was revoked. Because a weapon is nothing without a meister. He thought long and hard about it. Would dying for real be better than having to feel abandoned and betrayed? Would it be better to die than to go through life feeling weak? To not fight anymore and not live like he was meant to live? To not have a purpose in this world?

His friends didn’t give him the time to think about it. Kris made sure to get him back on his feet. Chanyeol, his therapist, insisted he train once more but Luhan couldn’t go back to being a weapon. There was no other person he’d be willing to listen to. Who could command him to do the things he has to do in a fight. He had to change course. If being a weapon was considered weak then he’d become a strong meister. Because a meister was never weak. A meister never lost.

Death granted Luhan what he wanted even if it took a lot of convincing. Luhan had to study all over again. He had to convince Death that this is a path far better for him. His outstanding record and credibility along with his near-death experience back at the woods helped push Death to make a decision. He was pleased to know that a weapon won’t stop fighting and would still continue to serve him despite what happened to him.

So he trained. And he studied. And he made himself strong, strong enough to take on a weapon for himself. A weapon that has no other goal than to become a scythe. Luhan can’t afford to have a link as deep as the one he shared with Yixing so the tall, gangly boy Kris pointed out to him, the one that only has the goal to stand beside Death, would be perfect.

Sehun would bring back the life he lost.

Luhan isn’t fooled though. He’s still dying. He’s still struggling to breathe every single day. He still feels that pain he felt when his meister walked out the door. He’s reminded of how humiliated and betrayed and abandoned he feels.

But he continues to pick himself up. He trains Sehun everyday without fail. He deals with his bratty ass and makes sure he wins every fight. He makes sure not to feel any kind of remorse for the kid when he pushes him too hard.

This is how dying feels. To live every day as if nothing’s wrong. To live and train and pretend. Pretend as if he was never abandoned. Pretend as if he never loved someone until his heart would burst. Pretend that the sight of his old meister walking through the crowd right in front of him and seeing him again after all these years is an ordinary sight to see.

Dying, for Luhan, feels a lot like living.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

When Sehun comes home after two months of being away on his duties of being a weapon, he’s greeted by a face full of hair and long limbs wrapped all over him. Tao and Jongin, having arrived a week before Sehun, give him one of their bone crushing (and very awkward since their arms are in the way) hug before letting go and letting him breathe. They only give him a few seconds to gather his bearings before they both grab Sehun again and with an excited tone says, “You have to tell us everything.”

By everything, they mean their battles. Sehun doesn’t get to bring his luggage to the shared apartment he and Luhan have (his meister had already gone up ahead) because Tao and Jongin have already led him inside the academy’s gates and to their favorite spot under the tree, rice rolls and soda cans passed around for everyone to have while they take turns talking about their missions.Sehun and Luhan are up to their thirtieth soul while Kyungsoo, Jongin and Tao are on their thirty-fifth. But they don’t linger on the numbers when all they can talk about is sharing their fights.

“You wouldn’t believe how one almost chomped off my shoulder-”

“Tao split its head open!”

“I have bruises the size of my palm-”

“Have you seen the way they look at you? All hungry and dead-”

“Luhan still makes me meditate in the mornings-”

“There was blood all over and it was awesome!”

“Ew Jongin that’s gross-”

They don’t stop talking until they’ve managed to get everything they wanted to share out in the open, all of them enjoying the adrenaline pumping through their veins as they recall their experiences. Kyungsoo is apparently pro at handling two weapons at the same time because Jongin and Tao couldn’t stop gushing about the things Kyungsoo makes them do during their fights.

After half an hour, when all three of them are left breathless and when the air has quieted down, all of them lying on the grass in a small circle, their heads resting on each other’s hip, Tao asks, “How are you and Luhan?”

How is he and Luhan?

They’re actually doing really well. It’s everything Sehun has ever dreamed about. Having a meister. Fighting souls for real. Waking up every day in a different town or city, muscles sore in the morning and reminding him of the last soul he took and how proud he feels at this accomplishment. It doesn’t even bother him that much when Luhan wakes him up very early in the mornings so they can be on their way. He likes this life he’s living.

And their link. Sehun has heard Luhan in his head when they train before, can feel what he wants Sehun to do when he attacks. But it’s so different, so exhilarating, when they’re faced with the real thing. He can feel Luhan’s drive to fight when they’re faced with an evil soul and likewise, Sehun knows Luhan can feel how much he wants to take it down. It’s like something Sehun can’t explain rushing from his veins to his fingertips. Like an electrical current keeping his mind and body awake and he can hear and feel what Luhan wants him to do in his head.

They still bicker and argue most of the time. Especially during a fight. Sehun would sometimes ignore Luhan’s commands when he sees a way in, something to their advantage while their fighting. He’d sometimes be right, earning them a soul without getting scratched or wasting time. But most of the time he’d be wrong and he ends up with a few bruises and cuts before they can actually defeat it. Luhan would yell at him on and on for not listening to a thing he says while he tends to Sehun’s wounds. Sehun hates when those days happen. Luhan would always dab at his wounds harder than usual and Sehun can only sit there, making sure not to let out a yell of his own lest Luhan starts lecturing him again.

So how is he and Luhan?

“We’re good,” Sehun explains, twirling his empty soda can on the ground. “He’s a really great meister. I can see what you all are raving about. He does know what it’s like out there,” Sehun laughs lightly when he recalls getting reprimanded all the time. “Although when he yells, it’s like my ears are going to pop.”

Jongin smiles at him. “He must be handling it really well then.”

Sehun finds this an odd comment but Jongin is always odd so he ignores that.

“He’s cool. I still hate him. But he can be pretty cool.”

“He doesn’t get any episodes?” Tao asks.

Again, Sehun finds this an odd thing to say. And he doesn’t ignore it this time because Tao, between him and Jongin, isn’t the odd one. So he sits up and looks at Tao and lets him see how confused he is by that question.

“What episode?”

“You know, from the accident.”

What accident, Sehun wonders, still looking at Tao the same way. It takes a while for Tao to get that Sehun really doesn’t know what he’s talking about and his mouth forms a small ‘oh’ at this realization.

“You didn’t know Luhan used to be in an accident?” Jongin asks this time as Tao seems to be embarrassed for blurting things out.

Sehun shakes his head.

“We didn’t really know either. We just knew about it a month ago when we headed up north.” Tao murmurs.

“We stayed at this inn for a week and the man at the lobby saw we were from the main city. He’d join us for dinner some nights and he asked us if Luhan was still around,” Jongin continues, pausing to word things better for them because they all know he’s a bad story teller. “Kyungsoo asked him how he knew Luhan and the man said, ‘Who doesn’t know Luhan?’ Apparently he and his meister would travel up north a lot back then. But ever since that incident where he almost died, he hasn’t seen him around much.”

Almost died? Sehun frowns at that. Jongin earlier said it was an accident.

“The man thought he stopped becoming a weapon,” Tao adds. “Which is kind of true since he’s a meister now. The old man was surprised to hear about it too. He said he always thought he and Zhang Yixing would stick around for a long time. They always seemed to look out for each other, he said.”

Zhang Yixing. The name rings a bell but Sehun can’t remember where he heard that before.

“You know what, forget all that,” Jongin says, lying back down on the grass. “It’s probably not important now anyway.”

Tao nods. “We only asked because we thought you knew and well, we were worried how you guys were doing. Whether it was okay for Luhan to be back out there in the field. We all know how dangerous that can be when you’re not ready.”

“Yeah. But then thirty souls,” Jongin whistles. “You guys are doing great.”

Sehun has never heard this story before. Luhan never talks about his old life so Sehun would never know.

“Did they say what kind of accident it was?” Sehun asks.

Tao shrugs. “There are different versions of it. No one knows what really happened.”

Sehun shifts his gaze between the two of them.

“What version did you guys hear?”

“Just that he almost died.”

Sehun does not like the sound of that at all.

 

 

 

It would be wrong to say he doesn’t care about Luhan. Because as much as he hates to admit it, he does. He may not like the guy that much but he’s his meister. And everyone knows weapons always look after their meister.

Luhan looks out for him too. And maybe it’s not the same as how every meister looks out for their weapon. But Sehun can tell he does look out for him a lot. He wouldn’t have trained Sehun too hard, pushed him around and yelled at him for nothing. Sehun truly believes he does all that to prepare themselves out there.

So having to hear that Luhan almost died once scares the shit out of Sehun. He’s scared because he was this close to not being able to meet this person that would be his meister. It’s a selfish thought. And, well, he's also incredibly amazed that for someone who almost died, Luhan still wants to go back out there.

“I hope coming here to rest for awhile didn’t make you lazy,” Luhan says to him as they walk. “Remember, we’re not coming back here after another few months.”

Sehun barely registers the snide remark. They got up at the earliest hour to get started on their journey. The skies are still dark and the area quiet. The only ones awake are some of the meisters and weapons that are tasked to guard the main city’s walls which they left behind half an hour ago. Sehun had said his goodbyes to Tao and Jongin the night before they left. They’re to leave after two days as well and might not see each other again for quite awhile.

Sehun isn’t listening to Luhan because he’s busy thinking still about what Jongin and Tao said to him. Is that the reason why Luhan doesn’t talk to him a lot? Is that why his meister is quiet and closed off? Just how bad did the situation get for him to ‘almost die’?

Sehun stares at Luhan’s back. Sehun likes walking behind Luhan. His meister is too quiet that Sehun leaves him to his thoughts while they journey from one place to another. He lets Luhan lead the way since he knows the area more than he does. But right now, as he stares at Luhan’s back, Sehun wonders what he’s feeling right at this moment or every single time they have to fight.

And why, he wonders, why would Luhan go back to doing this when his life was almost taken from him?

He may have his eyes on Luhan but his thoughts are not with him at the moment that he doesn’t register Luhan stopping in his tracks. Sehun’s nose hit the back of his head and he winces, stepping back to rub on it.

“What?” Sehun asks, wondering why they stopped when Luhan holds a hand up for him to quiet down.

“Do you hear that?” Luhan whispers and Sehun sweeps his gaze in front of them.

He doesn’t hear it at first but he hears the slight rustling of the leaves just a few meters away from them. Sehun doesn’t waste a single second. He instantly steps to the side, sweeping Luhan behind him in a protective stance and glares at whoever- or whatever’s out there.

Protecting Luhan hadn’t always been a priority. Sehun always thought of himself and what he’s tasked to do. He’s always too busy counting down the number of souls he still needs to take to become a scythe. But now, call it pity or whatever it is that he's feeling after he heard Tao and Jongin's story, Sehun feels the need to protect his meister as well. After all, a meister is everything to a weapon and he can't risk losing Luhan a second time.

At first they hear nothing but the sound of leaves rustling. But then a small groan can be heard and a small clicking sound. Sehun is all tense, eyes locked ahead while Luhan stays behind him, peering over his side to see as well.

Evil souls are disgusting. Sehun has seen them in class presentations, in training videos and in real life. But every single time he’s faced with one, he still manages to feel disgusted. He hates the way they look rotten and disfigured. One of his professors back at the academy explained how that’s because they’re too consumed by evil. Some look a bit human despite it having only one eye or a huge gash in their face, lips chapped or teeth broken. Some have taken up strange forms that resemble monsters. Those are the ones that are completely lost to their human selves. Sehun hates when they’re faced with those. They seem to be more deranged, fast and stronger.

What greets them up ahead is a soul so lost to its roots that it looks like nothing Sehun has ever seen. It’s twice as tall as Sehun, half of its body looking so bulbous that it’s walking a little off course. Sehun isn’t always greeted with the same disgusting looking soul but he can always tell that souls which look more monstrous are the ones that are a lot more challenging to fight off.

In an instant, a surge of something like fire and ice shoots through his skin and Sehun curls his fingers into a fist, knees crouched to attack. Luhan’s voice is already in his head and it’s filled with authority.

 _Do not make the first move,_ Luhan says through their link. _Let it come to you-_

_Do you not see the size of that thing? I can have the upperhand if I take it down now-_

_Sehun, I don’t care how big or tiny that thing is. I want you to wait._

Sehun gives an annoyed sound, obeying his meister even if his legs are itching to charge forward. He can feel the hold Luhan has on their link like he’s holding a leash. It's tight and firm but Sehun knows he can break free from it anytime. But he obeys and only readies himself because this is expected of him. This is what he was trained for.

The lost soul up ahead locks eyes with Sehun - if those are really its eyes, those things that look like slits now due to it being so disfigured - and it seems to smirk as Sehun just glares back at it. It makes a small clicking sound with its teeth as if its hungry. Without wasting another minute, it starts charging forward, its mouth opening to let out a low howl.

It's not moving as fast as Sehun thought it would be. Maybe it's because of its weight that it seems to drag itself. It's huge though and as it comes closer, Sehun crouches down lower.

 _Anytime now,_ Sehun says, waiting for his meister’s cue.

_It’s weak on the left. I want you to focus on taking it down on its left._

Sehun feels Luhan’s hold on him loosen up, letting him go and he charges forward as well, meeting the creature head on.

Fighting is something Sehun always felt he’s a natural at. All those years Sehun’s father reprimanded him for it, all those times he was sent to the principal’s office for knocking a kid in his class, always made him feel horrible. Because while he was doing it, while he was standing up to bullies, the feel of being able to do something about it felt thrilling. And he had felt horrible for doing something his parents frowned upon.

But now, with none of his parents around judging him, Sehun gives himself in to all that adrenaline and all that excitement as he tackles and shoves the soul out of the way. Sehun listens with ease as his meister gives out commands one after the other and he lets all that energy flow through his swift kicks and hard punches.

Sehun throws blow after blow at the hideous soul. Something splatters on his shirt after a hard jab and Sehun wrinkles his nose as he pinches on the blood stain he sees. The ugly soul’s blood. Not his.

 _Are you serious right now?_ Luhan angrily says in his head when he sees Sehun wiping his hands on the back of his pants and carefully brushing away his fringe from his eyes. _We don’t have time to be all dainty._

_It has a weird smell,_ Sehun whines, ducking as the monster throws a punch at him.

 _They all do._ Sehun can feel Luhan roll his eyes at him.

Sehun turns and does another swift kick right near its hip on the left from Luhan’s command and the monster howls in pain. Sehun grins in triumph as it glares at him angrily again and he rushes forward to knock him down now.

Killing an evil soul is easy as long as you’ve done most of the damage so it can’t move. Because souls are fast and you wouldn’t want it to slip through your hold. Sehun knocks this one off its feet and holds it down with his foot right near its thick throat. The monster’s hands instantly come up to grab Sehun but Sehun only jumps and lands harshly down on its stomach.

The monster sputters and Luhan tells him to get on it, choke it or find something to stab it with. Sehun looks around and kicks off a branch as thick as the monster’s leg from a tree. Picking it up, Sehun charges forward and whacks the head of this soul with all his strength before it can even get up again.

A sound of a sickening crunch followed by a heavy thump has Sehun pause, panting as he looks down at the monster he just took out. Dead or alive, the thing is so disgusting that Sehun wrinkles his nose as he stands there. He smirks at the pool of blood, glad to see he took this one out easily despite its size but then he grimaces when he feels the soul’s blood on his shoes.

“Great,” Sehun mumbles as he shakes his foot in the hopes to get rid of the stain. It’ll be harder to take out when it’s all caked in.

 _Quick. Take what you need so we can leave._ Sehun can feel Luhan frown through their link. He’s a little edgy. Sehun understands why. An attack that’s too close to the main city’s walls can be alarming and dangerous. They need to get out of there so they can alert the city of their recent encounter and tell them to heighten security.

Sehun crouches down and peers at the creature, waiting for it to happen. An evil soul is considered destroyed only when its soul emerges from its body. Blood just won’t do. Blood can be misleading. So Sehun waits for that small flickering light he always sees emerge from the monster in front of him.

It appears faint to the others but with a weapon's trained eye, it always seems like it's glowing. The first time Sehun saw it, the first time he took a soul, he had been wary of it. He knew the drill. They were taught what to do with it at the academy. But to actually have a soul up close and in the palm of your hands was a little different.

Thirty souls later, Sehun thirsts for it. He's no longer wary of how warm and bright it is. He enjoys the warmth and how fulfilling it feels to have a soul in his hands. A soul he himself took.

Sehun eyes the small glowing light that rises from the creature and he inches his face closer to it, grinning at how pretty it is. It always amuses him how a soul can be this enchanting even if it had once belonged to something so ugly and monstrous.

The warm light grazes his lips and Sehun parts his mouth, welcoming his reward. It slips past his lips and rests on his tongue before Sehun finally closes his mouth and swallows it willingly. A soul has no taste but Sehun can feel its warmth settle in his chest where he'll keep it for now along with the others. Storing souls inside a weapon’s body is safer than keeping it in another vessel. Weapons wouldn’t want to risk all their hard work being stolen.

He stands up to watch the monster slowly disappear in front of him. Like the breeze around him is wiping it away from existence. A soul cannot exist without its own body and likewise, a body cannot exist without its own soul. Where it disappears to, Sehun doesn't know and doesn't care. He has its soul. He doesn't care about the rest of the details.

He turns around to let Luhan know he’s done when his meister is suddenly yelling through their link to watch out. Sehun doesn't react to his words in time and something hard smacks him on the side of his face causing him to land back down on the ground hard.

His ears are ringing and his eyes sting from the pain. He barely heard Luhan’s warning only a second away from the blow. He should’ve paid more attention to his surroundings and it’s a mistake he always makes. He can taste blood inside his mouth from where his teeth collided against the insides of his cheek when he hit the ground. Sehun groans and blinks as he tries to regain his eyesight back.

 _Move to your left_ , Luhan commands quick and Sehun rolls blindly to his left as something smashes beside him. He can feel the earth tremble from the blow just mere inches away from where he had been.

 _You alright?_ Luhan asks and Sehun nods blindly as he tries to get up. His thoughts are still a bit jumbled and he holds the side of his head as he gets to his feet.

Something growls beside him causing Sehun to stiffen.

_It’s another one. Same size as the first. Less… bulbous._

_Where did it come from?_ Sehun grimaces, spitting out blood as he opens his eyes and sees the world spin.

Doesn’t matter right now. I need you to do a roundhouse kick. Three o'clock.

Sehun does what he is told with his eyes squeezed shut and he turns, leg swinging until his foot hits something solid. Whatever it is he’s up against, Sehun can hear it in pain. Through his haze, Sehun manages to smirk at that.

Sehun listens to Luhan's instructions as he gets a proper visual on what they're up against. Luhan was right. As soon as he can see, he sizes up this soul. This one looks the same as the first. Less bulbous but more muscular.

And ugly. Though that’s never a surprise.

 _This is too huge for you,_ Luhan says, sizing up the situation.

Sehun only laughs. _This is exactly the right size for me._

__

__

Sehun charges forward as their new enemy takes a good swipe at him. It misses Sehun by an inch and Sehun darts to the side and gives a smart jab.

This monster’s howls are loud, loud enough that Sehun knows it will reach the security around the main city’s walls. Help will come in a few moments so Sehun acts fast. It’s not like he doesn’t want anyone to come and help him. It’s just that this is his soul. Two souls in a day is a good catch.

 _You don’t have to take this one,_ Luhan says when he feels Sehun acting on his decision quickly. 

_You’ve already managed to get one today. Leave this to the others-_

Sehun ignores him. He ignores Luhan’s firm and commanding tone in his head. He’ll get an earful from him later. But taking this monster down will be easy. He doesn’t have to sweat it out.

Sehun skids across the floor as he runs, the ugly soul’s foot nearly crushing him. Sehun grins in triumph though when it misses him by an inch and he retaliates by throwing a hard blow on its stomach.

 _You’re not listening to me again,_ Luhan glares at him through their link. Sehun gives out a small apology but they both know he’s not really sorry. Luhan sighs and tells him to get to its neck if he can.

Sehun follows his instructions, all the while keeping his eyes locked on the monster’s. It’s too thick. This soul’s muscle structure is too thick that Sehun has no idea how to penetrate it. Sure he can get a few blows in there but he’ll need something big to leave some damage.

 _And this is why I told you we should back off,_ Luhan mutters when he feels Sehun analyzing it. The creature whips its head at Sehun, following him wherever he goes as Luhan continues to instruct him to climb on its back.

_Careful, you’re too close-_

_Nonsense,_ Sehun replies, kicking off another branch from a tree and gripping it tight in his hands. He runs and charges at the monster, whacking it hard near its shin.

The monster keels making Sehun do a victory dance before he can jump and climb on its back. It’s cut short though when it takes another swipe at Sehun, hitting him square in the chest and Sehun is thrown in the air.

 _Sehun!_ Luhan yells as Sehun feels his back hit a rock hard. He groans, crumpling like a rag doll and wincing at the pain. He miscalculated. It’s his fault.

 _Nevermind,_ he thinks, picking himself up with another groan just in time to duck and find cover because the monster is at it again, clawing at him.

 _That’s it, we’re getting out of here._ Luhan’s voice is frantic in his head and Sehun wonders why he’s scared. This is nothing, he thinks. They’ve been through worse.

 _Hold on,_ Sehun says. He’s going to get on its back and wrap his legs around its throat. Maybe bash its head with the branch while he’s at it. Luhan can tell what he has on his mind and firmly tells him no. But it’s too late, Sehun is already running forward.

His back hurts. He can feel the sharp pain of it as he runs. His joints hurt too but it’ll be over quick and he’ll get medical attention later. Right now, he’s about to take his thirty-second soul and Sehun is pumped with adrenaline that he forgets all that ache.

Sehun picks up the thick branch he dropped earlier, runs and uses a fallen tree to jump hard. The monster barely staggers as Sehun lands on it and it spins around to get Sehun off. Sehun swings his legs around his neck in a tight grip. He only gets to the part where he raises the branch above his head before he’s yanked away and thrown once more to the ground.

He’s pushed out of the way in an instant by his meister and Sehun rolls across the ground. His sleeves are torn and he looks like a mess. He lifts his head up groggily after a while. Luhan is the one fighting the monster off now and Sehun pushes himself up with all his strength so he can get to him. Luhan is not allowed to fight his battles and he doesn’t want to wait around for this soul to harm his meister.

“The hell are you doing.” Sehun grabs Luhan in time just as the monster’s hands reach for him. Sehun glares at his meister but is only met by the same look.

“You’re one to talk. Didn’t I tell you we should get out of here?”

Sehun doesn’t get to reply when the earth trembles and he sees a tree being uprooted. Sehun stares at it in awe, at how strong this thing is and he only realizes what it’s trying to do when the tree comes flying at them fast.

Sehun pushes Luhan out of the way. Luhan lands hard on the other side safely and Sehun scrambles for cover. But he’s too late. He only sees Luhan’s eyes widen and his arm stretched out for him before he’s crushed.

He considers himself lucky he wasn’t hit by the trunk and he doesn’t get any part of himself broken. He receives the light end of it but it’s enough to bring him down. It’s enough to render Sehun immobile. He can’t breathe as leaves and twigs smother him. He lies there underneath the crown of the tree trapped.

 _Sehun!_ Luhan yells frantically through their link. _Sehun, can you hear me? Sehun?_

Something crashes outside and Sehun tries to move. Luhan’s out there. He needs to get to him.

_Sehun, answer me! Where are you?!_

Here… Sehun weakly replies. He can’t breathe. He can’t see.

For the first time, Sehun feels scared. He’s never been in this kind of situation before. His limbs hurt. His lungs feel like it’s about to give out. He has a massive headache that won’t seem to go away. And he can't see his meister. His meister can't see him.

He’s terrified. He doesn’t want to die.

 _Luhan?_ Sehun calls out yet he can hear how small his voice sounds in his head.

He must’ve sounded different for there’s a pause in their link. Luhan must’ve felt him, felt how scared he is with the way he sounds alarmed and shaking and something rustles just above Sehun.

“I’m getting you out of there! Hold on!” Luhan yells. His voice is muffled from the leaves.

 _No,_ Sehun gasps, fighting for air but he only sputters. _Get out of here!_

He may be scared. But he can’t risk his meister’s life too.

 _Save it,_ Luhan snaps at him. Sehun can tell he’s annoyed. But he’s scared too, judging from the way his voice inside his head is quivering.

The earth trembles again and Sehun starts breathing heavily. His lungs seem to be working again and he tries to move. But pain shoots through his arm and he remains still.

The twigs and the branches scratch his face. He still can’t see properly. Something is happening outside and he wishes he can get out of here.

 _Right on it,_ Luhan says and just as he says that, the tree is lifted from him. Sehun quints as light fills his vision. He can breathe freely now but as he sees that it’s the monstrous creature who lifted it off of him, Sehun feels all the air in his lungs escape him.

It was a distraction. Luhan had tricked it to get Sehun by lifting the tree off him. And as soon as he’s free, Luhan hooks his arms under Sehun’s own and drags him away.

Sehun cries out in pain as he’s dragged to the side. His shoulder is dislocated. Luhan shushes him, promising him medical help later. Later. If they can get out of here.

 _We will,_ Luhan assures him, brushing Sehun’s hair out of his eyes before standing in front of him protectively.

The soul roars and starts after them again. Luhan looks like he’s about to charge forward too and Sehun weakly tells him to get out of the way because he is not fit to fight this thing when someone is suddenly in front of Luhan, blocking him from the creature.

Sehun watches as this person slices through the creature’s legs with a small dagger he has in his hands. Blood fills the ground and the creature cries and backs away, howling in pain. It sways and staggers around. But it’s not killed yet. It would take more than just that. To this thing, it was just a scratch.

The person in front of them turns around and looks at Luhan that Sehun is able to see his face. He knows him. Sehun knows him. He’s seen that face before.

Something flickers in the man’s eyes and in an instant, Sehun feels empty. As if something just left him. He suddenly feels hollow and Sehun asks Luhan what’s happening. If he felt that too. Only Luhan doesn’t reply making Sehun call out to him once more.

It takes a while for Sehun to realize what just left him and confusion and panic fills him when he no longer feels Luhan’s presence in his head.

The man tosses his dagger at Luhan who catches it easily. The monster whips its head at him and Luhan charges forward, running head first and avoiding its arms with ease as it claws at him. Luhan springs in the air, using the fallen tree in the way as leverage. He’s aiming for the back of its head. At least, that’s what Sehun thinks he’s planning to do.

He’s watching all this like a movie. Like he’s not a part of this fight at all. Like he wasn’t nearly crushed to death earlier. Sehun sits there, leaning against a rock as he watches his meister who isn’t acting like a meister at all. He watches him move effortlessly, swinging his legs and throwing punches and deadly kicks. Luhan doesn’t seem like Luhan as he moves and Sehun is so confused and in awe as he watches this.

Luhan manages to get to its shoulders. Where Sehun had been before he was yanked away. Luhan doesn’t make the same mistake as he did earlier by taking too much time. This time, Luhan uses the dagger and plunges it down the back of the monster’s head fast.

He leaps off of it just as the creature stumbles and he lands right beside where the man is who was watching the fight silently all this time. The creature wobbles around, blood oozing out of the back of its head. It finally collapses in front of them, making the ground shudder that Sehun can feel it all the way from where he's sitting.

It's quiet now. Save for Luhan's heavy breathing and Sehun panting. The pain in his shoulder gets to him then and the intensity of what he just went through fills his entire body. His head is throbbing. He can't feel his back. His face stings and he knows he's filled with scratches. He's getting dizzy just trying to suppress the pain of his injuries.

But Sehun keeps his eyes open. He keeps his eyes on Luhan to see if he's alright. Luhan who isn't looking at the creature behind him, its soul now glowing faintly and hovering for him to take. Luhan can't take it. He's not a weapon. And Sehun can't take it either. He wasn't the one who brought it down.

The soul continues to glow until it disappears along with the body. It's a waste for something that almost killed them, something they managed to defeat just go and disappear. But neither Sehun nor Luhan is concerned about it at the moment. Both their attention is on the man standing there.

Yixing. Zhang Yixing. Sehun suddenly remembers his name.

He’s awake long enough to see Luhan and Yixing share a look. One that Sehun can’t understand as he sits there but can make out how it’s filled with something only familiar to them both. Something that’s only meant to be understood between the two of them.

And then everything starts to dim, the pain growing more intense that Sehun finally succumbs to it and passes out.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Sehun is awakened by fingers lightly running through his hair.

He never gets his hair stroked. He sure doesn’t get awakened often by someone touching him. There are only two people who touch his hair or his face or gets to hug him. And that’s Jongin and Tao. Only Jongin and Tao.

This is not Jongin or Tao. Jongin and Tao have large palms and long slender fingers that when they play with his hair, they’re all rough strokes and playful tugs. Jongin and Tao are noisy too that Sehun would’ve been awakened by their insistent chatter first rather than their touches.

The room is quiet. Also an obvious sign that this is not Jongin or Tao.

Sehun is awake but he doesn’t open his eyes as he reaches with his good arm for Luhan to stop touching him. He knows it’s Luhan. He can feel his presence. And besides, his circle of friends or the people he’s accustomed to only range from Jongin, Tao and Luhan.

His fingers wrap around Luhan’s small wrist and only when Luhan stops touching him does Sehun open his eyes.

Luhan’s face is close enough that Sehun can tell he hasn’t slept much. Worry fills his features but it turns to relief when he sees Sehun recognize him.

Sehun recognizes him alright. Sehun recognizes Luhan.

But he doesn’t recognize his meister.

When Sehun gets injured, his meister yells at him. Luhan always gives him a long sermon and goes on and on how an idiot he is for not following his instructions. Luhan would continue to yell at him as he tends to his wounds, pressing down hard with a washcloth on whatever cut he has. Luhan is always annoyed at him or yelling at him when things don’t go his way after a fight.

Luhan right now is quiet, lips tightly pressed together as he stares at him. Luhan right now isn’t yelling at his foolish decisions that almost caused them both their lives and led to him being seriously injured. Luhan right now isn’t fussing over his wounds the way he always does but is rather gentle with how he touched him earlier.

This is not his meister.

Sehun stares at this person as the events of what happened that day start replaying in his head. He has no idea how long he was out. Probably days. He can make out the familiar hospital room they’re at. They’re back in the main city. He can feel his arms and back still sore from that fight. He has a slight headache and he can barely move at all or put any of his muscles into action. But as he stares at Luhan, he can’t help but let his jaw tighten and his gaze harden, his temples pounding at the strain.

“What?” Luhan asks, taking his hand away from Sehun’s grip.

Sehun looks into his eyes. He doesn’t start with a _Hi_ or a _Hello, how have you been?_ He doesn’t start with a _How long was I out?_ or _Were you hurt as well?_ He doesn’t bother with asking about his condition or if his wounds are serious. Instead, Sehun says the one thing that’s been bothering him ever since he woke up.

“You’re still linked to someone else.”

Those words come out small and faint. Sehun’s voice is still too hoarse and deep from sleep. He can’t move. His shoulder still hurts and he‘s not sure if he can even sit at all. So he stays still and says all this in a quiet tone. Because this seems effortless.

But he also needs Luhan to hear this. He wants him to know that he saw what happened that day. How Yixing was there, how his eyes had flickered and the link that Luhan and Sehun had disappeared. How Yixing had controlled Luhan and made him fight like a weapon when he isn’t one anymore.

Sehun knows Luhan heard every word he just said.

Luhan opens his mouth and Sehun expects an explanation. But no words are coming out of him. It’s as if his meister wasn’t expecting Sehun to point this out to him at all. As if Sehun didn’t just witness anything.

“How,” Sehun continues, voice still low and faint but a little louder than before. “How do you expect me to be your weapon when my meister still has a link with someone else?”

Sehun is angry. He’s angry for so many reasons. He feels cheated and he isn’t sure why. At first he thought it was because he failed. He hadn’t acquired the soul he fought so hard to get. That maybe he’s feeling this way, feeling like shit because he lost.

But somehow, he also feels like that isn’t the case. He feels cheated and angry because the person he thought he had a distinct link with has the same thing with someone else. That this person, who is supposed to be _his_ meister, who is supposed to control _him_ , can be controlled by someone else.

That Sehun can easily lose a meister because of what he just witnessed.

And he can’t lose a meister. He can’t become a weapon with no purpose. He accepted this life as a weapon and he gave up everything for that. He gave up his home, his life, his family. Luhan can’t take any more of that away from him. Luhan should be responsible for him.

Luhan closes his mouth when it’s obvious he’s too late to form any kind of explanation. Sehun’s stomach drops uncomfortably at how his words hold so much truth, that his meister still has a link with someone else.

Luhan reaches for the side of his face instead. Sehun, not wanting to be touched at all, turns his head away. He can feel Luhan’s fingertips light and feathery on his cheek and he knows his hand stopped so close from meeting him.

“I’m going back to sleep,” He mutters and closes his eyes. He can’t deal with this right now. He’s too tired and sore all over.

Seconds later, he feels Luhan’s weight beside him gone, the door to his room opening and close quietly and only when he doesn’t feel Luhan’s presence does Sehun finally fall back to sleep.

 

 

 

Sehun is awakened a second time by his shoulder.

His shoulder is in pain. Whatever pain killers they’ve given him has already worn off and he needs more of it. He can feel sweat trickling down the sides of his face from having to suppress the discomfort even in his sleep.

The nurse assigned to him isn’t around. Sehun doesn’t know what time it is. The sky outside the window just a few feet by his side indicate it’s probably late in the evening. There’s a bell by his bedside table that he can reach so he can call for the nurse and Sehun reaches for it.

Being a weapon has trained him to be alert at all times. His senses are keen and sharp and even if he doesn’t put them to good use sometimes in a fight since he always rushes head on, they’re on high alert now when it’s quiet and still and he’s all alone. Something shifts slightly on the other side of the bed and Sehun immediately freezes. He can tell someone is standing beside him.

Sehun turns around and in the dark, he only makes out someone’s presence looming over his bed, a hood pulled over his face before he’s being lifted up harshly on the collar of his hospital gown.

Sehun starts choking and gasping both from the pain he’s still feeling and at being handled this way. His back arches to accommodate the straining position he’s in. His fingers wrap around the man’s wrist, nails digging into his sleeves to let go. But the man’s hold is tight, lifting him higher as he bends to meet his eyes.

“You’re a weapon,” The man snarls at him. “You’re a weapon.”

Sehun releases his hold on the man’s wrist so he can punch his face and let him go. But his shoulder hurts so bad that his bad arm lies limp and his other hand only tries to twist at the fingers curled around him.

“Let… go,” Sehun croaks but the man only brings him up higher. Sehun squeezes his eyes shut as a burning sensation shoots down his arm and back.

“You protect your meister at all cost,” The man says in a low and angry voice and for a moment, Sehun forgets about the pain as he takes in this odd warning.

“Whatever it takes,” The man breathes and Sehun, being lifted up so close to him, opens his eyes that he can finally make out the face underneath that hood. “You protect your meister.”

Sehun stares at his face. The man’s jaw is tight, his gaze hard and threatening. But Sehun isn’t threatened. Sehun only stares back at him and wondering why he’s here.

“You make sure nothing happens to him.” The man breathes. “You got that?”

He releases Sehun without waiting for an answer and Sehun lands on the bed hard. He feels the pain along his back and shoulder once more, his muscles and joints realigning and he sucks in air and hisses through his teeth. He doesn’t have the chance to confront him about what he just said when the door opens and lights flood the room.

Sehun turns his head away from it, his eyes squeezed shut once more so as not to be blinded.

“You’re still up?” Comes Luhan’s voice and Sehun blinks, getting his eyes to focus. “I thought you’d be asleep by now- “

Sehun turns to the doorway and he sees Luhan eyeing his face. Sehun is panting and his face must be red and dotted with sweat that it doesn’t take much to figure out that something’s not right with him.

“What’s wrong?” Luhan asks.

Sehun doesn’t answer him though. He scans the room for any sign of the man’s presence but he’s gone. The curtains by the window flap against the breeze and Sehun knows he must’ve slipped out that way.

The pain in his shoulder throbs again, reminding him of his condition. But Sehun only stares out the window where Yixing just left.

“Nothing,” Sehun says quietly. “Everything’s fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a little thing I've compiled before I wrote soul eater http://purple-eyed-monster.tumblr.com/tagged/soul-eater-au


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Yixing wonders how anyone can love someone so much.  
  
He wonders about it as he lies holding Luhan in his arms, naked and skin hot. He just came inside him, just a few minutes ago where Luhan had ridden him hard. There are marks on his hips where Yixing had held on to him tight and his own neck is filled with red blemishes all thanks to Luhan’s lips and teeth. They’re both lying there sated and spent and as they come down from their high, Yixing wonders how he has come to love this person in his arms so much.  
  
“Stop it,” Luhan mutters by his side. Luhan’s cheeks are flushed a beautiful shade of pink as Yixing shifts and looks at him. He kisses him on his forehead and Luhan cranes his neck upwards to catch his lips.  
  
“Stop what?” Yixing asks, their fingers coming to lace together as Luhan pulls the covers up. Luhan may be warm but his feet are cold and Yixing hisses softly as he feels him brush against his leg.  
  
Luhan laughs quietly.  
  
“Stop thinking,” Luhan replies. “You’re quiet so I know you’re thinking.”  
  
“I’m always thinking.”  
  
“You shouldn’t.” Luhan looks at him, eyes half lidded and filled with exhaustion. “Especially right after sex. Thinking right after sex is a bad thing.”  
  
Yixing laughs as he rolls them both over so he’s spooning him from behind. Luhan hums, holding his hand and resting them over his stomach.  
  
They’ve been together for a long time now that he’s accustomed to Luhan’s presence. The small noises he makes when they’re having sex. The sound of him breathing while he sleeps. The humming that comes from the bathroom while he showers. The way Luhan folds his clothes. The way he holds Yixing from behind while he makes them breakfast, Luhan’s chin slotting perfectly over his shoulder as he peeks at what he’s making.  
  
They’ve been together for a long time now that Yixing’s heart feels so full that it might just give out at how much he’s holding. He loves how full it feels and how Luhan always fills it up every single day. He has a heart that’s physically small but it’s amazing how much Luhan has managed to stuff it with himself making it feel so large and heavy.  
  
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Luhan mumbles sleepily.  
  
Yixing tugs at the blankets around them.  
  
“Do you really want to know?”  
  
Luhan hums in reply.  
  
Yixing only holds him tight, burrowing into Luhan’s neck as he presses soft kisses down his spine. He wants to tell him how much he loves him. How his heart might burst at any second from feeling this way. How he loves him so much that it sometimes seem illogical and unreasonable at just how much he truly loves him and yet somehow, it still makes sense.  
  
Yixing only holds him tight in reply because there doesn’t seem to be any words to tell him all this and Luhan is already fast asleep in his arms.  
  
  


 

 

  
  
Luhan catches him in the middle of the street, laughing as Yixing waves his letter in the air.  
  
"Congratulations!" Luhan lifts him up and spins him around once before putting him down. Yixing laughs back, breathless and ecstatic.  
  
"I have a level one meister," Luhan says, reading through Yixing’s letter notifying him of his recent achievement.  
  
Yixing beams at the proud look on his face.  
  
"I have a level one meister!" Luhan yells happily again that people around them give him odd stares and some, congratulatory smiles.  
  
Yixing quickly covers his mouth with his hands and smiles apologetically at the people walking by.  
  
"Not so loud," Yixing whispers. Luhan pulls back and makes a face.  
  
"What? I'm proud of you!"  
  
Yixing blushes as they start walking down the road.  
  
"Don't tell me you're not happy about it," Luhan says. "You _earned_ it."  
  
"With _your_ help," Yixing corrects him. "I wasn't able to get this without you."  
  
"True," Luhan replies, snickering as he dodges Yixing's playful shove at his teasing. “I’m kidding. Hey, don’t doubt yourself now. All this was you’re doing.”  
  
“No,” Yixing argues back. “If you weren’t my weapon, I wouldn’t be a level one meister this early. It’s because of you we have twenty souls this fast. It’s because of you that Death thinks I’m worthy of rising up a level-”  
  
Yixing is yanked to a full stop before his face is being cupped and Luhan’s warm lips are pressed up against his. Yixing's eyes flutter close instantly as he rests his hands by his side. They’re standing underneath the afternoon sun, both their skin warm and comforting that Yixing can’t think of a perfect day other than this. In fact, he feels warm all over and inside. He’s so happy with the letter he received and with Luhan kissing him like this. He can feel how proud he is and Yixing is just so happy he gets to share this moment with him.  
  
Luhan pulls back, just enough so that he can look into his eyes.  
  
“It’s because of _you_ that I’m a good weapon,” Luhan says to him and his quiet and sure tone has Yixing shiver in his hold despite the warm weather. “It’s because of _you_ that we’re here doing what we’re good at because we trained hard for this. It’s because of _you_ that Death thinks you’re worthy. And _you_ are worthy. You’re an exceptional meister. It’s because of _you_ that we make a great team.”  
  
Luhan looks at him, a smile on his lips as he steps back and for a moment, Yixing doesn’t even care that he just accomplished something this big. For that moment, all Yixing can think of is how his heart feels full once more and how Luhan can just fill it up so easily with his words, his faith in him, his kiss and with his presence.  
  
“Now come on,” Luhan grins, continuing on their way. “Let’s go celebrate it at a pub I saw a few blocks down. Your treat of course.”  
  
Yixing laughs and shakes his head, throwing an arm around Luhan’s shoulders and whispering a small “Thank You” in his ear. Because there are still no words to tell him how it feels to love him this much.  
  
  


 

  
  
Yixing is hurt.  
  
He’s hurt all over. His jaw hurts from where he was hit on his face and there’s a nasty cut on his cheek that’s covered up in a bandage. His arms itch. He remembers the way those souls scratched him over and over again as they tried to get through him and take Luhan’s body. But Yixing wouldn’t let them. Yixing would never let go of Luhan.  
  
A small sob rises in his throat as he stares at him lying there.  
  
He’s hurt. But it doesn’t compare to the pain he’s feeling staring at his weapon that’s lying there in the bed unconscious and in between life and death. It’s his fault. If he had acted fast, if he hadn’t engaged Luhan in a playful banter while they were walking… He knew better and he should’ve kept all eyes and ears on the road whenever they’re traveling.  
  
But it’s too late. Everything is too late. Luhan is on the brink of death and if he’s going to…  
  
Yixing can’t complete that thought. He can’t.  
  
With shaking hands, Yixing clutches at Luhan’s limp and cold ones. He needs Luhan to wake up. He needs Luhan to open his eyes and smile at Yixing like he always does. And Yixing will tell him all the things he always has a hard time saying because there never seems to be the right words for them. That he loves him so much and he has to wake up because his heart that is used to feeling so full and heavy feels like it’s being ripped apart and everything is spilling. And Yixing is doing everything he can to put it all back together.  
  
Luhan wakes up after a few days and Yixing is by his side to greet him.  
  
But Yixing still can’t say those words he has ready for the only thing that’s coming out of his mouth are sobs at how relieved he is to see Luhan awake.  
  
  


 

  
  
Yixing leans against the doorway, staring at Luhan sitting cross legged on the floor of their living room. There are maps and papers strewn around him as he scribbles something down on his journal.  
  
He’s writing it all down awkwardly, one arm still on a sling. He’s using his good hand, the one that’s not fractured to write down all the places he mapped out to visit once he gets better. But it’s taking awhile since he can’t write legibly with it. He’s not supposed to be in a straining position. Chanyeol said so. But their kitchen table is too small and Luhan has about four maps open.  
  
There’s a small yawn coming from him and Luhan stretches his back only to stop halfway, shoulders tense and his hand coming to clutch at the back of his hip. Yixing immediately settles the cup of tea he was carrying down on the nearby coffee table and crouches behind him in an instant.  
  
“Where does it hurt?” He asks, eyeing his back then Luhan’s face to check for any signs of discomfort as he places his hands gently behind him.  
  
Luhan blinks and then smiles, his gaze softening at his touch.  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
“We’ve been through this, Luhan. You’re supposed to tell me what aches and what’s too sore and what’s causing you a migraine- “  
  
“Yixing,” Luhan tilts his head at him. “I’m fine.”  
  
He sighs, sitting down and letting Luhan lean back into his chest. He kisses the side of his head, the one that’s not wrapped in a bandage and whispers into his ear.  
  
“It’s late. Come to bed with me.”  
  
Luhan picks up a map by his side and shows him a new route he just discovered.  
  
“Once I get better, we’ll start here.”  
  
There’s a lump forming in Yixing’s throat as he takes in all the plans Luhan has once he’s able to move like his old self again. Luhan doesn’t notice how it makes Yixing uncomfortable everytime he talks about it. Because all Yixing wants to do is to take him to bed and wrap him up in the safety of his own arms. Luhan has no idea how much it terrifies Yixing to go back out there with him, with Luhan facing those hideous things again. It terrifies Yixing everytime he thinks of Luhan putting his life on the line again.  
  
But he can’t say all that. Because he knows Luhan aspires to become a scythe. He dreams of becoming Death’s servant and nothing Yixing will say will stop him from continuing to live a life with Death.  
  
So instead, he nods and holds him and tells him he can continue tomorrow. It’s late.  
  
For now, Luhan should rest.  
  
For now, Luhan is safe with him.  
  


 

  
  
“I’m leaving.”  
  
Luhan looks at him, blinking at the words he just said.  
  
“I’m leaving you,”  
  
His hands clutch at the straps of his bag tight as he tries to stomach the lies he just said out loud. He doesn’t want to leave. He never even thought he can. But it’s getting harder every single day to see the one he loves live a life like this and Yixing believes he’s doing him a favor by leaving.  
  
Luhan looks like he was just smacked in the face and Yixing clenches his fist tighter to stop himself from rushing towards him and apologize for this hard blow.  
  
“Why?” Luhan asks. Yixing’s heart clenches to hear the tone of his voice.  
  
“We can’t do this anymore.”  
  
_I can’t do this anymore._  
  
I can’t look at you every single day, struggling to get better just so you can die another time. I can’t hold you without feeling the irrational need to keep you safe. And you can’t be safe out there. I can’t stop you from getting back out there either.  
  
I can’t be your meister because a meister has to encourage you to fight and I don’t want you to fight. I don’t want you to ever get hurt again. I want you safe.  
  
“I don’t think you’re good at this anymore.”  
  
_I think you’re the best at what you do. And I hope you see past these lies. You’re amazing and I love you but you can’t- you can’t go out there again. I can’t let you go out there again._  
  
“I can’t afford to have a weapon that’s so weak.”  
  
_You’re not weak. You’re strong, one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. I’m the one who’s weak. Because I won’t be able to take it if you went through something like this again. I’m weak because I can’t seem to protect you in the right way. I love you. I’m sorry._  
  
I hope you forgive me for crushing your dreams. I hope you’ll forgive me for loving you this way.  
  
Yixing doesn’t look back as he leaves Luhan alone in the place they’ve built and called their home. He leaves Luhan because it’s the only way he can stop him from fighting again. It hurts him to know that Luhan didn’t even fight for them, to stop him from leaving. That he easily believed all those lies in a snap. But he also needs him to believe it. He’s only keeping him safe.  
  
Yixing has never told him how much he loves him but he hopes that all the lies he just said counts as a way of telling him he does.  
  
  


 

  
  
A strong link between a meister and a weapon runs deep. He craves for the link he once had with his own weapon even if he’s training a new one.  
  
It’s been years. But Yixing wonders if his link with Luhan still exists.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

There are pros and cons resulting from the recent incident that Sehun was involved in.  
  
The pros: security is tighter around the main city than before. Since Sehun and Luhan were able to encounter two evil souls just around the vicinity of the main city’s walls, weapons and meisters are securing the area and keeping a closer watch on things. Curfews are set and no one is allowed to leave the perimeter until Death deems it fit to open the gates once more.  
  
High level meisters and their weapons are the only ones allowed to leave the main city. They’re tasked to make rounds and take evil souls they encounter along their way. Sehun heard that these teams have killed almost a dozen evil souls by now and the numbers are gradually decreasing. This is considered good news for this means it’s safe to wander out again.  
  
The cons: Sehun is bored. It took him only a month to recover which is a good thing. Luhan’s old friend, Chanyeol, is his therapist and even if he’s good in treating Sehun’s shoulder and whipping him up into shape so fast, Sehun still isn’t allowed to do anything. He and Luhan have been training again, the meditation and the yoga sessions more frequent than the actual combat training, but it’s different compared to what Sehun actually feels on the field.  
  
And it’s not like he has a field to actually get back to. It’s impossible to leave the city for now. Even Jongin, Tao and Kyungsoo weren’t allowed to leave as scheduled. It’s great that they’re all safe and Sehun has more visitors over at his hospital room while he was still confined to keep him company. But they’re all getting tiresome and agitated at being somewhat trapped.  
  
He’s thankful that other teams are working hard and risking their lives out there to clear the area so that they can all go and continue on their missions. But Sehun is a bit miffed that other weapons are killing and taking his souls. He could be up to forty souls by now if he wasn’t stuck in here.  
  
He’s getting better. Luhan sees to it that he’s getting better. He’s released from the hospital when Chanyeol saw he can walk around okay and can do things by himself. He can’t throw a good punch in his injured shoulder for now. But Chanyeol promised him that sparring with Luhan regularly yet also taking it easy will get his joints to move freely once again.  
  
Things have changed and Sehun isn’t sure whether this kind of change is a good thing or a bad thing. For one, during trainings, he doesn’t land on his ass. He doesn’t get pinned down by Luhan so quickly. Whenever he falls, his meister always helps him up and encourages him to get back up again rather than make fun of him. It’s nice that Luhan’s a bit more gentle with him than usual. But it’s also kind of frustrating because Sehun feels like he’s so weak and he feels that this kind of treatment Luhan gives him is all out of pity.  
  
One thing’s for sure. This kind of change isn’t something he’s used to.  
  
They never talk about that night. Sehun doesn’t want to talk about it and Luhan doesn’t bring it up. They pretend as if that night didn’t happen and Sehun has forgotten all about it. Because it doesn’t seem to be happening again. So far, Luhan is still his meister. He doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere. He’s still training him and he’s still acting like a meister. Not someone else’s weapon.  
  
Yixing never showed up in his hospital room after that night. Sehun would stare at the windows before going to bed, expecting him to drop by again. He wants to meet him. He wants to ask him why the sudden threat to protect Luhan and why does he even care. Luhan is his meister. Yixing has no claims to him.  
  
Only that he’s reminded of that spontaneous link they shared and he always ends up closing the windows, locks it and regrets even thinking about wanting to meet Yixing. He doesn’t want him around. Sehun doesn’t need to be reminded that the link he shares with his meister is weak and that Luhan’s and Yixing’s is strong.  
  
He sees him around though. Yixing is apparently a level three meister. His weapon is his cousin from back home and has already acquired all the necessary souls and her witch. She’s a scythe and is already under Death’s arms making Yixing free to do as he please. Yixing was called by the academy to help train young meisters and he accepted the job. Sehun knows all this because eavesdropping on nurses’ conversations helped him pass the time at the hospital.  
  
Sehun sees Yixing walking around the academy’s grounds dressed in slacks and dress shirts with his glasses perched on his nose, test papers neatly tucked under his arms. He doesn’t look like he carries a dagger around or can lift Sehun up by his neck.  
  
Sehun isn’t threatened by his presence. Yixing belongs at the academy. Sehun has already graduated. There is no other reason for their paths to cross. Just as long as Yixing and Luhan never encounter each other again, Sehun is fine with it.  
  
Even with all that’s happening, the city still likes to pretend that everything is fine. The usual activities continue and one of them is the welcoming ceremony for the fresh new batch of meisters and weapons at the academy. It’s a big ceremony and every licensed team is invited to greet the newcomers and welcome them to their new lives.  
  
Sehun arrives at the Grand Hall of the academy with Jongin and Tao. He left earlier than Luhan who was fast asleep on their couch, his nap taking an hour as usual than the fifteen minutes he always says. Sehun didn’t bother to wake him up. Luhan hates it when someone disrupts his sleep. And besides, he and Luhan aren’t on speaking terms unless they’re training. It’s childish what Sehun is doing. Ignoring him. But Sehun isn’t ready to make amends.  
  
Jongin is struggling with the tie in his suit and Sehun reaches for him to help fix it.  
  
“What is up with you?” Sehun asks, fixing Jongin’s collar too. “Why are you so fidgety?”  
  
Tao smirks behind him, running his hand through his hair and touching the new stud he has on his ear that compliments his grey suit before putting his hand down on Sehun’s shoulder. “Let’s just say someone is putting up such an effort to make a certain head turn tonight.”  
  
Sehun laughs as Jongin’s face immediately turns red.  
  
“I just want to look good. Is that a crime to want to look good?” Jongin mutters back at them but Sehun and Tao only snicker by his side.  
  
A welcoming ceremony is considered a huge occasion so naturally, the Grand Hall is filled with notable guests. Tonight, they spot a few distinguished teams such as the Jung Siblings and the legendary Maka with her own weapon scythe Soul Evans. Jongin and Sehun are back to ogling at these guests while Tao pinches them from behind every now and then to keep them from looking like a bunch of idiots.  
  
The ceremony starts with a few introductions by the headmistress Kwon Boa and her weapon scythe Ahn Chil Hyun. Meisters are then ushered into a certain part of the hall, weapons to another side and the academy’s faculty in the other to greet the new students. Sehun spots Yixing among them looking very presentable as he exchanges a few pleasantries with his colleagues. Gone are the glasses and the boring professor shirts and slacks as he stands there in a well-tailored dark maroon suit. Sehun can’t look at him without wanting to do the things Yixing did to him back in his hospital room so he tears his gaze away from him and scans the crowd of meisters for Luhan instead.  
  
His meister isn’t there and Sehun suspects he did oversleep or decided not to come. His meister isn’t the most sociable person and these things require them to mingle. But Sehun doubts Luhan would miss an important occasion such as this so he continues to scan the crowd for him.  
  
Meanwhile, Jongin by his side is staring intensely at something along the same direction Sehun is staring at. He follows his friend’s gaze and sees Kyungsoo standing there, his black suit making his skin more pale than ever that it’s easy to spot him despite his small stature.  
  
“Drool,” Tao sighs as he hands his handkerchief to Jongin. Sehun laughs, muffling the sound of his laughter behind the back of his hand as Jongin just blushes once more.  
  
Someone stumbles beside Sehun and Tao that they both turn to see who it is. It’s Luhan looking a little breathless, his cheeks red from rushing all the way over in a hurry.  
  
“What did I miss?” He pants, his words coming out in a rush as he buttons up the last two buttons on his collar while scanning the hall.  
  
Luhan hasn’t missed much. The main events of the ceremony hasn't started yet. Everyone is just getting acquainted. But Sehun doesn’t get to tell him all that. He’s too busy looking at his meister. Luhan rarely dresses up and this is the first time Sehun has seen him wear something other than the usual state he’s in. He has seen Luhan in his pajamas, Luhan half-naked as he trudges towards the bathroom to shower, Luhan in shirts too big and in shorts too long, Luhan in jeans or sweats. He has never seen Luhan in a white suit with a gold accessory adorning his neck. He has never seen Luhan with his hair brushed back and his eyes lined with a black eye liner. Sehun squints at this. When has Luhan ever owned eye liner? Or a brush?  
  
Luhan straightens up and catches Sehun’s stare that Sehun clears his throat and points to the group of meisters.  
  
“You’re supposed to be over there,” He says. Luhan cranes his neck once more, spots Kyungsoo and nods.  
  
“Right,” He says before he makes his way towards his section, Sehun’s eyes still not leaving him as he leaves.  
  
Someone is laughing quietly beside him and Sehun turns to find that it’s Jongin with Tao fighting back a grin.  
  
“What?” Sehun asks, quirking an eye at them.  
  
“I see Jongin’s not the only one drooling,” Tao says, handing him his handkerchief too and Sehun scowls, shoving his friend’s handkerchief back while Jongin just shakes his head at him.  
  
He was not drooling. He was just a little surprised to see another side of his meister that he hasn’t seen before. All dressed up like this. It’s very impressive actually for Luhan to look this presentable.  
  
But really, he wasn’t drooling. Nor was his attention on Luhan the whole night as they stood side by side greeting seniors and students and guests. He was surprised to find Luhan mingling and introducing Sehun to every meister in the hall when he expected him to just stand there and pass the time quietly. But Luhan seems to know what he’s doing and how he’s presenting himself and his weapon.  
  
Their little joke with the drool starts getting on his nerves when Jongin continues to tease him. Because really, he’s fine. He didn’t feel like he was conscious of his actions the whole night or how every time Luhan places a hand on his arm to direct him to someone to greet, his skin tingled. Sehun blames it all on the cool night air.  
  
But if there's one thing he has to admit about tonight, just one tiny little thing, is that Sehun does think his meister really does look attractive.  
  
Just for tonight.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Sehun is exhausted. It hasn’t even been a month and here he is, exhausted from all the training.  
  
He’s not sure but he thinks being cooped up inside the city is the reason why he feels exhausted. He never felt this way before they were dispatched. But maybe it’s because he was already exposed out on the field and then having to return to trainings is what’s making him feel exhausted.  
  
He longs for it. The travels. The different scenery. The fights. The need to take souls. Sehun knows it won’t be long before they’re allowed to go out again. But training while waiting for the gates to open doesn’t help much. It’s like he’s being given a taste to fight, just a taste, but not to savor the whole thing.  
  
He feels stifled even if the city is huge. And maybe his meister can tell or Luhan feels bad about pushing him to his limits these days that one afternoon, Luhan leads him to some other place rather than the usual training grounds they use.  
  
Sehun has never been back inside the academy ever since he graduated. He and Jongin and Tao like the forbidden areas but not the school itself. It reminds him of those boring days where the only things he looked forward to where the physical exams rather than the ones in class where they need to memorize stuff and take notes. His early days back at the academy were lonely too and Sehun doesn’t like to be reminded about it.  
  
That afternoon, Luhan leads him to the academy’s rooftop. Sehun has never been there before. It never occurred to him to go and explore the rooftop when he was still a student because the grounds were so vast and it had a lot of places for them to discover.  
  
Sehun notes it’s a restricted area and he looks at his meister as they push open the doors leading to the staircase. Luhan doesn’t seem to be the kind who would break rules. He looks like the exact opposite. But just like the shade underneath the tree he and Jongin and Tao would frequently hang out, he supposes Luhan has his own kind of restricted area to hang out too. He doesn't really know his meister that much to assume he isn't a rule breaker from the start.  
  
The rooftop is empty and void of anything except a very nice view of the city. The academy is known to stand in the center and Sehun looks around, taking in the view. Everything is tiny from where he’s standing yet he can make out some familiar places. His old school. The plaza. The marketplace where his favorite bakery gives him extra waffles. The gates that lead outside the city.  
  
“Do you come here all the time?” Sehun asks, looking far across the school grounds and in the direction where he used to live a long long time ago. The air feels refreshing from up here and Sehun inhales deeply, taking it all in.  
  
“I used to,” Luhan answers, approaching him. Sehun had ran out to the railings earlier, leaving him behind to close the door. “But I haven’t been here since…”  
  
Sehun turns to him when he hears his words trail off.  
  
“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Luhan continues instead.  
  
“Since?” Sehun presses.  
  
Luhan walks to his side and leans on the railings as well. The warm afternoon breeze tussles his hair making him look funny.  
  
“Since I stopped being a weapon,” Luhan answers back, looking out at the view. “This is where we used to train.”  
  
We. He and Yixing.  
  
There’s still no mention about that night. They converse as if things are fine. Sehun is done being childish with him because he does need to ask Luhan to pass the salt sometimes or if he’s done with the bathroom so he can use it. Sehun is fine with not talking about that night but sometimes he wants some sort of explanation. Or to stretch things a bit, an apology.  
  
But Luhan hasn’t said anything and Sehun isn’t going to demand one. He’d like to think it’s all in the past.  
  
Which leads Sehun to be curious about Luhan’s past. He would go through a bunch of different scenarios in his head with what might’ve happened to him or how come he and Yixing still have a link. Or if that was just a one time thing. He’s curious as to why they’re not a team anymore if they could fight together like how they did on that night. But somehow, staring at Luhan right now has Sehun wanting to drop it. He doesn’t like how it makes Luhan look uncomfortable.  
  
And well, he'd rather not know the answer to that really. Because Sehun is rather scared of the truth.  
  
There’s also that small thought at the back of his head that he might know what really happened between him and his old meister. Sehun can piece things together himself. It might not be accurate but Sehun can tell it probably has something to do with that accident. He has heard of meisters changing weapons because they deem them… unfit. Maybe Luhan was too broken back then for Yixing to use anymore.  
  
He could be wrong.  
  
But again, he tries to convince himself he doesn't want to know.  
  
Sehun backs away from the railings and in an attempt to change the subject, nudges Luhan on his arm.  
  
“You train me,” Sehun starts, backing up a bit so there’s a fair enough space between them as Luhan turns around. “You train me but you never teach me.”  
  
Luhan looks a bit confused by this.  
  
“You never teach me how…” Sehun does a simple kick, leg still in the air as he looks at Luhan to check if his stance was right.  
  
Luhan continues to stare at him for awhile and finally understands what he means. He walks towards him, lowering Sehun’s leg with a tap of his hand so that it bends slightly.  
  
“You have very long legs so that should be an advantage but,” Luhan taps his thigh this time. “Lower them at first. It’s supposed to be levelled with your hips. Don’t raise them too high in an instant. You lose balance.”  
  
Sehun does what he is told, balancing more better on his other leg as he takes in his meister’s words.  
  
“Don’t forget to breathe,” Luhan walks around him, checking his posture. “Breathe in as you ready yourself,” Sehun breathes. “And breathe out when you attack,” Sehun exhales as he slowly lets his leg stretch out, kicking in the air.  
  
“Do it properly this time,” Luhan commands, crossing his arms in front of him as Sehun goes back to a standing position and does a simple kick.  
  
Luhan seems pleased with this, a small approving nod of his head as he motions for Sehun to straighten up once again.  
  
“Do it again. Faster.”  
  
Sehun does the same move but since he’s concentrating on what Luhan told him, how his posture should look like and the way his leg should be levelled, he falls down from all the things running through his head, making him land on his butt.  
  
Sehun hisses, rubbing on his backside. There a small laugh coming from Luhan as he reaches for him to help him stand up. Sehun blinks up at him for a few seconds, taking note of the way Luhan laughs. This is the first time Sehun has seen him laugh. An amused laugh. Not the haughty laugh he makes when Sehun falls where it’s accompanied with a smirk and a sarcastic remark.  
  
It’s a nice sound.  
  
“Try not to control your kicks,” Luhan advises. “It’ll slow you down and it weakens the blow.”  
  
Sehun nods. He takes Luhan’s hand as he pulls himself up and lets go as Sehun dusts off the back off his pants.  
  
“One more time.”  
  
Sehun rights himself, pauses and does the same kick. This time, it’s a bit easier with him trying to balance Luhan’s words and trusting his own body.  
  
He looks at Luhan, leg still in the air as his meister approaches him and fixes the position of his arms.  
  
Sehun doesn’t look at his arms as Luhan fixes him up. He looks at Luhan, noticing the way his eyes knit together and then relax as he stares at his work. His eyes look like he’s just concentrating at something but it seems rather distant. Sehun sees this a lot whenever they train and he wonders what he could be thinking about.  
  
“Why do you always look like that?” He asks, his eyes trying to find Luhan's as he lowers his legs and goes back into a standing position.  
  
Luhan looks at him, confusion filling his features once more as their eyes meet.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Like that. Like you’re always…” Sehun pauses and tries to find the perfect word to describe what he looks like but instead, he settles for a simple one that seems closer to it. “Sad.”  
  
Luhan blinks at him. He looks a little surprised but at the same time, he looks like he’s thinking about Sehun's words. After a while, Luhan slowly crouches down on the ground and sits. Sehun follows him, sitting with his legs stretched out towards him. The ground where they’re sitting on is warm from the sun that’s beginning to set.  
  
“I’m not sad,” Luhan answers and Sehun gives him a look. He can tell he’s lying.  
  
Luhan rolls his eyes. “Fine. I’m reminiscing.”  
  
Sehun takes this answer and ponders over it.  
  
“Nostalgia is different from being sad,” Luhan adds.  
  
Sehun cocks his head to the side. “Reminiscing about what?”  
  
“Just…” Luhan stares up at the clouds and there’s that look again. Nostalgia. “I thought I’d never be able to do this again.”  
  
He’s reminded of Luhan almost dying and for a moment, Sehun wonders if asking him this was a good idea.  
  
But Luhan doesn’t seem to mind as he continues.  
  
“Sure I miss the life of being a weapon. But being a meister also feels good. I can share things with you. I can tell you’re eager to learn.”  
  
“I am,” Sehun nods. “What else do I need to know?”  
  
Sehun makes a move to stand up because he’d like to change the subject again. Maybe if Luhan starts teaching him, he’ll forget about feeling sad or nostalgic.  
  
Only Luhan doesn’t follow him up. Sehun stops halfway, knees bent and his hands already pushing at the ground. Luhan doesn’t have his eyes on the clouds now. He’s looking at him and Sehun holds his gaze.  
  
“You have to listen to me,” He starts. “When I give out commands, you shouldn’t think twice about them.”  
  
Sehun hesitates at his words.  
  
“You’re thinking,” Luhan notes.  
  
“Well, yeah,” Sehun sits back down, crossing his legs in front of him this time. “What if I see something else to our advantage? What if I think you’re wrong? What if I think -”  
  
Luhan bonks him lightly on the head and Sehun flinches.  
  
“Ow?” He rubs his head but they both know that blow was too light to even cause any kind of pain.  
  
“You don’t,” Luhan replies. “That’s what being a weapon means. You surrender yourself completely to your meister. You let him use you like an extension of his own body.”  
  
Something cackles underneath his skin right then. Something familiar. It’s so faint and quick but Sehun can tell what it is. Luhan’s trying to get him to feel it and it leaves goosebumps across his arm as the effects of it fade away.  
  
He hadn't realized how much he missed it. Their link.  
  
“You have to trust me, Sehun,” Luhan says, eyes still never leaving his. His voice is small but Sehun can hear him clearly. It’s as if Luhan is talking about that night. They’re finally talking about it. Not in so many words. And not directly. Just Luhan, telling him to trust him.  
  
_Trust me. Because I only have a link with you._  
  
An apology.  
  
A promise.  
  
He’s reminded of how it feels like to lose a connection with him again. The way it feels like someone that’s a part of you leave you empty and cold. Like you’re no longer connected and you can’t move because no one’s telling you what to do and that’s not how it works. It’s enough to let panic settle inside him once again. A part of him is telling him not to trust Luhan anymore. Luhan will leave him in a snap so easily. If he can leave him that fast like he did the last time, how is Sehun so sure it's not going to happen again?  
  
But the way their link felt earlier, faint but still existing, is also enough to bring him to his senses. It's still there. And as long as it's still there, Sehun feels the need to hold on to it. They’re training again. They’re to leave and continue taking souls once the gates open. But they can’t go back to being a meister and a weapon if none of them trust the other. They have to start trusting each other.  
Sehun looks at Luhan. He’s making an effort. He can tell.  
  
And right there, Sehun decides to take another chance. He’s going to risk everything once more as he makes amends  
  
He stands up, dusts himself off again and this time, he’s the one stretching his hand out for Luhan to take.  
  
Luhan's eyes leave his as he stares at Sehun’s open palm.  
  
“Okay,” He replies. Luhan stares up at him again and Sehun isn't sure but his meister seems to look better now. There's no sadness. No nostalgia. But if Sehun can choose a word to describe the thing that’s filling Luhan’s features right now, it’s relief.  
  
"Okay," Sehun says again and Luhan finally takes his hand. Sehun closes his hold on his meister's grip and pulls him up to his feet. “I will."  
  
This is Sehun’s own apology for being so childish.  
  
And this is his promise to become a better weapon.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

It is easy to get lost inside the academy. New students always find that a problem as they go through their classes during freshman year. Professors are lenient when it comes to the first few weeks. But when a student is still late after a month, that’s when they start taking off points from their attendance and final grades.  
  
Luhan smiles to himself as he remembers his fair share of scrambling to get to his classes on time. He’s walking along the corridors leading out towards the exits, the massive pillars creating pleasant shadows to block out the late afternoon sun. He has his and Sehun’s pass in his hand all stamped and ready for tomorrow when the gates finally open. This is why he's here. Kris had helped him get it approved from the authorities earlier and Luhan had come to pick it up at his office at the faculty area. Kris always helps him with these things since he has closer access to the main offices and knows how Luhan's too lazy to queue and process his own documents.  
  
The hallways are almost empty. Classes and training sessions end two hours before the sun sets so the students can be at the dorms by nightfall. Only a few students are around and they’re mostly meisters in training, staying after hours at the library. Some look a bit lost still. Some know their way around. Some ask Luhan shyly for directions and he tells them where to go. The academy can be quite overwhelming for someone new. But for someone like Luhan who has spent years walking and running and stumbling along them, the academy has always felt like home.  
  
So it comes as a surprise that out of all the people he would bump into in this huge place, a place with numerous rooms and hallways and exits, it would be the one person he has been avoiding ever since he saw him come back.  
  
One would think that after a couple of years, a heart that has been broken could’ve mended by now. But somehow, Luhan finds that he doesn’t belong to that sort of thinking. Because seeing Yixing walking towards him is still turning his stomach inside out in the most unpleasant way and that something is stuck down his throat making him unable to breathe.  
  
Yixing is oblivious to his presence, his eyes fixated on a stack of papers he’s carrying. He has his glasses on, eyes furrowed at whatever he’s reading as he tugs on the sleeves of his coat that keep on falling.  
  
Luhan feels then that he’s being transported back in time. With the academy’s hallways painted at the back, it feels like he’s being taken back years and years ago. Yixing looks the same way he did then. His glasses on. His disheveled state. Those would be books instead of papers in his arms and his worn out backpack instead of his satchel. It’s really like he stepped into a time portal. Like they’re about to head to head to the dorms together and Luhan is standing there waiting for him.  
  
Only that none of what he’s feeling is nostalgia.  
  
If Luhan had only taken that few seconds to step to the side and slip into another corridor, Yixing wouldn’t have seen him and they wouldn’t be faced with such an awkward situation. An awkward, dreadful and very difficult situation that involves uncomfortable stares and small shufflings of the feet.  
  
But it’s too late. Luhan had been too slow because his feet decided to glue itself on the ground and all he can do is hope that Yixing doesn’t see the fear in his eyes.  
  
Fear. Because that’s what Luhan is starting to feel. He’s seen Yixing thrice now. And out of all those times, Luhan presumes this is the worst. The first time he saw Yixing since he came back, he had been with a hundred people that it had been easy to shrink back into the crowd so as not to let Yixing see him. The second time was when they had been fighting off that evil soul and it was Sehun’s critical condition that was able to save him from dealing with his presence.  
  
Right now, with the empty hallway and with no one almost dying (except maybe himself at the moment), Luhan thinks this is the worst possible time to meet Yixing again.  
  
He hates how he feels scared of him. How his presence is enough to get him to feel ashamed of himself. He feels small and naked and ashamed. Because everytime he thinks of Yixing or sees him, he thinks of a person finding him weak, unimportant. Dead weight.  
  
He’s also scared of the recent events that transpired between them. How their link can still exist after all these years. He’s scared at how quick they can just manage to do that. He wasn’t expecting Yixing to show up in his life again and he sure as hell wasn’t expecting that a link between them would still exist.  
  
He’s scared at how easily he can slip into it. Unlike the link he shares with Sehun that’s filled with something like ice and heat, his link with Yixing’s was always sweet and comforting. Like slipping into a second skin, one that’s tailored to fit him so perfectly. One he never realized he was longing to wear again. And he feels so scared that it’s still there.  
  
Despite being scared, Luhan braces himself. Despite everything scaring him at that moment, how Yixing’s presence seem to taunt him and how Yixing can still easily manipulate him, Luhan knows how to put up walls around him. He thinks of Sehun at that moment. He thinks of his weapon and how he can’t allow another link in. He had asked for his weapon’s trust days ago and he’s not going to break that so easily. It’s not fair to Sehun. Yixing left him. He reminds himself that. Luhan can’t allow himself to slip into something so familiar again.  
  
Yixing lowers the papers he’s carrying, stopping just a few meters away from him. He’s close enough that Luhan can study him but he doesn’t dare look at his face.  
  
“Is Sehun alright?” Is the first thing Yixing says to him, voice still as melodious to his ears as ever. It hadn’t been the opening Luhan was expecting but he wasn’t expecting he’d talk to him either. He’s not quite sure if he heard him correctly and it takes him a moment to give a reply.  
  
“He’s fine,” He says, making sure his voice isn’t trembling from being so afraid to talk to him. The last time they exchanged words it had been in a dire situation. It was when Luhan took down that soul threatening to kill Sehun and he and Yixing had just stared at each other, too surprised and too overwhelmed with their sudden link to form coherent words. He hadn’t expected him to come rushing into the clearing either. If Sehun hadn’t slumped to the ground just then, Luhan wouldn’t have been able to break off from that link and attended to him.  
  
He still feels rotten about it, leaving his weapon even for a few seconds. Having to let Sehun see him share a link with someone else is something he still keeps to mind and how he should never do it again.  
  
Yixing had helped him carry Sehun back to the city’s gates, Sehun in the middle with his arms around each of their necks as both he and Yixing lugged him all the way back. And all Yixing had said to him was, “Stay with him. I’ll call for help,” before leaving Luhan alone to deal with the gravity of the situation.  
  
There had been no explanation as to why he was there or why their link still exists. And Luhan, after a lot of thinking, would rather not know now. He had decided it didn't matter. He’s a meister now and has a weapon. He’s living a different life as to what Yixing has known of him before so the past shouldn’t be so important.  
  
Luhan swallows down his nervousness as Yixing continues to look at him.  
  
“He’s fine,” He repeats.  
  
“And are you… fine?” Yixing asks, lowering his head so as to catch his gaze.  
  
Luhan wonders what is it to him if he’s fine or not.  
  
He raises his head then and stares at him fully. His stare is tugging at the strings inside his chest. Yixing looks genuinely concerned. But Luhan isn't so sure. He can never be sure anymore.  
  
“Yeah,” He replies anyway.  
  
He can't stay another minute. Looking at Yixing like this and pretending he's fine is making it harder for him to look the part. He’s doing so well without him. He’s not about to fall apart now just because he’s standing in front of him.  
  
Luhan turns towards the direction of the exits and motions to it. “I have to go.”  
  
He doesn’t wait for anymore of his replies as he turns around and starts to leave. But he doesn’t even get a few feet away from him when he stops in his tracks a second time when he spots the headmistress of the academy walking towards them.  
  
“Luhan! Yixing! This is such an extraordinary sight to see. You two in one place,” Headmistress Kwon Boa smiles at them, her hands coming to clasp together as she stops in front of them. She’s dressed elegantly as always and her smile is still as pretty as Luhan remembered the last time he saw her.  
  
Luhan gives a small bow as a greeting. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Yixing doing the same thing.  
  
“What brings you two here inside the academy?” Headmistress Kwon asks then stops herself. “I forgot,” She smiles apologetically at Yixing. “You’re already a professor here. Seeing you two together in such a familiar setting made me think of you as students.”  
  
Luhan gives a small smile at that.  
  
“I came to pick up our passes from Kris Wu,” Luhan replies, showing the headmistress what’s in his hands. “The gates are opening tomorrow.”  
  
“I’ve heard,” She nods. “Everyone is all leaving tomorrow. Are you and your weapon prepared for the trip?”  
  
Yixing looks at him and Luhan avoids his gaze, looking back at the headmistress instead.  
  
“Yes. We are,” Luhan nods. “Chanyeol has already given my weapon his medical clearance.”  
  
“That’s good to hear,” Headmistress Kwon smiles at him. “It would be very unfortunate if you and your weapon would miss out on heading back to the field.  
  
Luhan nods once again at this.  
  
“I hope you two aren’t leaving yet,” The headmistress continues, still with that pleasant smile on her face as she looks at Luhan and Yixing. “I’d really appreciate it if the both of you can join me and Chil Hyun for tea. It isn’t often that I come across old students such as yourselves.”  
  
They can’t say no. Declining the headmistress’s invite is considered improper so Yixing and Luhan follow her up to her office. Luhan does not look at Yixing’s direction the whole time but only listens to Headmistress Kwon’s voice so as not to feel uncomfortable about the fact that he’s with him.  
  
It’s the first time that Luhan feels trapped in a place he deems home. The academy always provided him with comfort and nostalgia, a thing he enjoys whenever he visits. But walking alongside Yixing just makes him feel like the walls are closing in on him. Every look that Yixing gives him makes him shrink and he feels so small, so embarrassed and he hates it.  
  
Headmistress Kwon welcomes them warmly into her office, a massive area filled with books and paintings. Her office is painted a light cream and her desk is clear from any clutter aside from a few papers.  
  
Chil Hyun, her weapon scythe, is the one who serves them tea. Scythes are usually with Death rather than their old meisters but Luhan knows how a headmaster or headmistress of the academy are also in need of protection. Death must have given Chil Hyun a choice whether he wanted to live by his meister’s side or not after serving him a number of times and Chil Hyun must’ve chosen to finally retire with his meister.  
  
“I rarely see the old students come back that seeing you two together felt like I was a professor once again,” Headmistress Kwon says, bringing the tea cup daintily to her lips. Before becoming headmistress, she was Professor Kwon Boa and one of Yixing’s and Luhan’s professors back when they were still studying.  
  
“I’ve heard a lot about you, Yixing,” She continues after sipping her tea. “Especially how fast you’ve managed to turn your weapon into a scythe. How is your cousin by the way?”  
  
“She’s doing really well,” Yixing answers politely, dipping his head in acknowledgement. “She wrote me a letter just last week telling me of her adventures with Death.”  
  
“She must be enjoying herself then,” Chil Hyun smiles. Luhan notes how casually the headmistress’s weapon has his hand atop his meister. He wonders if every team can be this comfortable with each other. Maybe. He and Yixing had once been this…  
  
Luhan shakes that thought away. He and Sehun still have a long way to go in terms of applying this kind of comfort.  
  
“Thank you for coming back to help train these students at a time like this,” The headmistress sighs. “We need wise meisters like yourself to come back.”  
  
Wise. Luhan does not doubt this. Yixing had always been wise. That’s what made him fall in lo-  
  
Luhan tries not to grip the handle of his cup too tight.  
  
“And Luhan,” Luhan looks up to see Headmistress Kwon’s soft smile directed at him. “We still haven’t thanked you enough for helping defeat that soul outside the city’s gates. If it wasn’t for you and your weapon, we wouldn’t have been prepared. The city wouldn’t have been secured.”  
  
Luhan looks at Yixing as he hears this. He shouldn’t be taking the credit for this. It should be Yixing.  
  
“Thank you, headmistress,” Luhan speaks up. “But it was Yixing who helped us the most.”  
  
“Ah yes,” Chil Hyun says. “If it wasn’t for him, your weapon wouldn’t have been given the proper medical attention right away.”  
  
Luhan is confused. What story did Yixing tell? What exactly did he say when he reached those gates?  
  
Luhan looks at him sitting there with a stoic expression on his face as he nibbles on a biscuit. Maybe he doesn’t want to be involved with the likes of him. Maybe he doesn’t want to have anything to do with Luhan. He does, after all, consider him weak.  
  
“I remember one training class with the two of you,” Headmistress Kwon recalls. “None of my students can defeat that mechanism we built that mimics the way a soul moves. It took most teams five sessions to keep up with it. But Luhan here,” The headmistress beams at him. “Was able to take it down fast with Yixing instructing him what to do in just two session.”  
  
Luhan remembers that day. He enjoyed that class since Yixing let him take a go at it without any restraints. He remembers the way he had leaned back into his hold, Yixing’s hands on his waist as Luhan readied himself, his back pressed to his chest. He remembers the sweet taste of their link as Yixing held him for just a split second, feeling his heart beat as he tells him to let go of anything else and just focus on the “soul”. It was a dangerous command. And Luhan had been a little apprehensive. But Yixing had assured him, communicating through their link to trust him. Yixing would be his eyes. Luhan could fight this thing blind.  
  
And he did.  
  
“You two were exceptional together,” Headmistress Kwon continues, her tea forgotten for her attention was now on the two of them. “We always wondered what happened.”  
  
Luhan tries not to look too uncomfortable. It’s been so long since people have asked him about that and he always had a chance to dismiss it, citing a lack of time to explain and how it’s a long story. But he’s here and he’s trapped and he remembers Yixing with his bags packed and his last words to him.  
  
_I don’t think you’re good at this anymore._  
  
“You were getting better. You were getting ready to leave together,” The headmistress says.  
  
_I can’t afford to have a weapon that’s so weak._  
  
_“You were close to ninety-nine souls.”_  
  
_I can’t have a weapon that’s holding me down._  
  
Luhan feels shame threatening to choke him on the spot. He was weak. And it had been his fault.  
  
“I…” Luhan starts. He doesn’t know why he’s even bothering to answer this.  
  
“He needed to rest,” Yixing speaks up beside him, lowering his half eaten biscuit back to his saucer.  
  
Luhan looks at him.  
  
“He needed rest.” Yixing says.  
  
Headmistress Kwon and his weapon nods at this. Luhan doesn’t know whether Yixing is trying to make things better because it doesn’t. It just confirms what he supposes Yixing still thinks of him.  
  
Which is still weak.  
  
Luhan settles his cup as softly as he could but there’s still a small clang. Small but loud enough to make all of them look at him.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Luhan stands up. “But I suddenly remembered a few things I still have to do before we leave tomorrow.”  
  
The headmistress doesn’t seem to be offended Luhan is cutting this short and nods.  
  
“Of course, of course,” She says, her tone understanding. “I’m very grateful for your time. You and your weapon should be prepared for the journey.”  
  
Luhan leaves them with another apology and a deep bow. He heads for the door and breaks into a brisk walk because he doesn’t think he can hold himself from bursting any longer.  
  
He’s angry and disappointed and he doesn’t know who to direct those emotions at. Does he direct it at the headmistress for bringing up a situation that happened years and years ago? Or does he direct it at Yixing for still seeing him as weak. For leaving him all those years ago. If Yixing hadn’t left him, Luhan wouldn’t be here feeling so small and delicate to every person’s eyes.  
  
Or does he direct his anger at himself. If only he had been able to protect his meister. If only he had listened to him. If only he had never lost and gotten himself injured. Then Yixing would’ve still wanted him. Yixing wouldn’t look at him this way. He wouldn’t have thought so little of Luhan. He wouldn’t be saying how Luhan needed to _rest_.  
  
Luhan stops walking, the empty hallway sounding so quiet that the silence is so loud, loud enough to swallow him inside his thoughts.  
  
Being a meister had been a selfish cause no matter what he thought. Luhan lowers his head as he stares at the ground. He wonders now what Death saw in him to give him a chance to get back on the field. Did Death grant him this life as a meister to teach him a lesson? Because he learned it. He learned how unimportant he is now and how maybe _maybe_ he really is weak.  
  
He should just quit.  
  
“There you are!”  
  
Luhan looks up just as he’s yanked to the side and Luhan lets out a yelp in surprise.  
  
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Sehun pants, a grin on his face as he drags Luhan to a nearby exit.  
  
Luhan rubs his neck with his other hand as he winces at his weapon.  
  
“Sehun, what are you doing here? It’s after hours. The academy’s closed.”  
  
“So I was thinking, for tomorrow, since we’re leaving,” Luhan sighs because Sehun is ignoring his question as usual. “That I should be learning some new moves. And Tao and Jongin taught me some this morning-”  
  
“You can’t just learn a new move in a span of a few hours,” Luhan says to him, trying to keep up with his long strides.  
  
“I know, I know. But we were bored. So anyway…”  
  
Luhan just listens to him as he babbles on and on about this. Sehun’s voice is filling up the thoughts in his head and it sounds nice. It makes a nice distraction from what he was thinking earlier.  
  
“...And I thought you should see and tell me what you think about it,” Sehun continues.  
  
He’s leading him outside the academy’s grounds and underneath one of the huge trees. Luhan has warned him time and time again that this area is off-limits but he lets this pass for now. Besides, they’re leaving tomorrow. Whoever catches and reports them won’t be able to deal with them tomorrow.  
  
Tao and Jongin are there all sprawled out on the grass with Kyungsoo sitting against the trunk of the tree. Luhan gives them a nod in greeting but doesn’t get to say anything else when Sehun pushes him gently to the ground to sit.  
  
“Okay, so,” Sehun motions to Jongin. “Quick. Attack me.”  
  
Sehun looks so excited that Luhan has to stifle a chuckle.  
  
“What?” Jongin laughs. “I’m not attacking you.”  
  
“Just come over here and attack me,” Sehun whines.  
  
Jongin looks at his meister but Kyungsoo just shrugs.  
  
“Quick before he pees all over himself,” Tao mumbles and Sehun just sticks his tongue out at him.  
  
Luhan watches as Jongin pushes himself off the ground and dusts his pants off. He then walks over to Sehun who looks ready, both arms up in the usual protective stance weapons are taught. There’s a smirk on his face as he looks at Jongin but Jongin doesn’t seem to mind. He does a small spin and a kick and Sehun blocks it off nicely but Jongin was only doing that as a distraction, only wanting Sehun close enough so he can grab his neck and tackle him to the ground.  
  
Tao erupts into a fit of laughter and Kyungsoo looks amused to see Sehun groaning as Jongin has him in a loose chokehold.  
  
“Get off me,” Sehun wheezes and Jongin does so, laughing into Sehun’s neck as they both collapse on the ground.  
  
Luhan smiles at the sight of Sehun wincing at the strain in his neck. Sehun is beckoning him to come and help him and Luhan rolls his eyes as he pulls him to his feet. He ignores Sehun, opting to just sit beside Kyungsoo and matching the amused smile on his face when he keeps on pleading with him to teach him a quick grappling technique so he can get back at Jongin and this has both of his friends laugh at the sight of Sehun acting like a sore loser.  
  
He regrets then for thinking about quitting. He regrets about thinking how he shouldn’t have been a meister in the first place. How he should just give up. Because there’s one person who relies on him and trusts him and Luhan can’t just give up on the both of them.  
  
Sehun thinks he’s important. He doesn’t make him feel small. Sehun always looks at him and listens to him and values his words and trainings. Sehun thinks he’s strong too with the way he always leans in to him. He’s never afraid to put all his weight into Luhan. He trusts him. And somehow, that makes Luhan feel a lot better.  
  
He is at least important to one person.  
  
And that alone makes a huge difference.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

It can't be helped, Luhan supposes, that he’ll eventually compare Sehun and Yixing. He's lived two lives, one as a weapon and one as a meister, and has shared two different links with the both of them that eventually, he knows that there will come a time that he'll compare them both. Not that there's much to compare since one is a wise meister and the other a stubborn yet skilled weapon so that alone isn't very comparable. But it can't be helped. And Luhan finds himself comparing them.  
  
Like now. When Sehun jumps from a nearby rock formation, holding a huge rock in his hands and bashes the head of an evil soul, causing its insides to splatter on his face, the first thing that Sehun does before he can even _take_ the soul to add to his count is whine and complain about the smell and how he'll probably need to take two baths to get the stink off.  
  
"I love this shirt," Sehun whines, approaching Luhan who tosses him a towel to wipe his face off. "What if it leaves a stain?"  
  
Luhan rolls his eyes at him. Yixing would never complain. Even when Luhan was covered in soul innards, Yixing never complained about the smell.  
  
"Then don't wear it while we head out," Luhan says as he sits on a rock to wait for his whiny weapon to clean himself so they can continue on their way. "I don't even understand why you want to wear your favorite shirts when you know the state you're going to be in afterwards."  
  
"It's because I look good in them," Sehun replies, reaching for the back of his shirt as he takes it off. "Don't you think so?"  
  
Luhan just throws a clean shirt in his face, wiping that grin off. Another thing different between him and Yixing. Yixing never gloated so smugly like this.  
  
Sehun laughs. "Kidding."  
  
Forty souls and one can say they've accomplished much more than just doing their job. There's progress in their meister and weapon relationship wherein they talk more and interact with each other more now. They're not friends yet but Sehun seems to joke around him whenever he can and even if Luhan never shows how amused he is by his weapon's antics, he thinks he's very entertaining. It's nice. Sehun fills up the silence in Luhan's head, keeping the worries and insecurities at bay. Sehun really is a good distraction.  
  
Sehun is also very childlike. And childish. A thing Luhan is already used to dealing with ever since he accepted him as a weapon. But sometimes, it still surprises him how young and carefree and innocent Sehun is compared to Yixing. Yixing is always responsible and wise. Playful too. But most of the times, Yixing is focused, a trait that Sehun has yet to master.  
  
"Thanks for keeping an eye on me back there," Sehun says, voice muffled against his shirt.  
  
Luhan stares at Sehun's naked upper body and traces the contours of his ribs and the small definition of muscle on his stomach with his eyes as he raises his arms so he can put on his shirt. He can't help but compare that to Yixing too. For Luhan, Yixing has the most ideal physique. But somehow, he acknowledges that Sehun's isn't so bad as well.  
  
"No problem," Luhan replies, busying himself as he gathers their things so they can continue to head out.  
  
There's still a long way to go before they can reach the next town and settle for the night. Luhan tries not to think of anything more to compare them then.  
  
Besides, Yixing and Sehun are completely two different types of people that there really isn't any point in comparing them in the first place.  
  
  


  
But if there's one thing he sees as a similarity between the two of them, it's that Sehun is overprotective.  
  
He's had a taste of Yixing being overprotective. Everytime they used to share a link and Yixing would give out commands in his head, Luhan always felt his fear and how protective he was of Luhan that it used to cloud his judgement whether or not he'd let Luhan fight. And Luhan would send a reassurance back that it would be fine and how he shouldn't worry. He'll be able to take it.  
  
But with Sehun though, it's a different kind of overprotectiveness. Ever since that incident just outside the main gates, Sehun has become more vigilant and overprotective that it just drives Luhan insane. The vigilant part is a plus. The latter, not so much. Sehun always makes sure Luhan is far and in a safe distance from where Sehun would fight off a soul and he’d calculate his movements carefully even if Luhan has already given him a command. If Luhan would come any closer, Sehun would instantly send a very strong note of disapproval down their link that Luhan has no choice but to step back and command him from afar.  
  
Because Sehun's kind of overprotectiveness is causing him headaches, their link all garbled and noisy with his disapproval at Luhan being in such close proximity in a fight. He can't think of a proper command to instruct Sehun with if he has a headache so he stands from afar and commands him from there.  
  
It's stupid. Because Sehun's kind of overprotectiveness isn't flattering at all. It's _possessive_ and Luhan would sometimes smack him on the back of his head when he's done.  
  
"You were close!" Sehun would reason out afterwards, after he's taken down the soul, rubbing the back of his head and wincing at the sore spot. "How many times have I told you not to get too close?"  
  
"And how many times have I told you I can take it," Luhan replies. "You don't need to worry about me, Sehun."  
  
"Well you're my meister," Sehun would argue back. "I need you safe if you're going to talk me through a fight in my head."  
  
"Like I said, I can take it. I can fight them off too. I'm very much capable of handling a soul if it comes at me without your-"  
  
And then Luhan would stop and bite back the words he’s about to say because he'll see Sehun looking away and being all silent that Luhan doesn't have to ask why he looks offended. After all, Luhan knows how it feels like to be seen as weak.  
  
But Sehun isn't weak. Sehun is a good weapon. And Luhan trusts he can protect him very well. It's just that sometimes, Luhan wishes Sehun would trust him back too that he can protect himself just as good as he can.  
  
"Fine," Luhan would give in causing Sehun to look at him all happy and victorious at having to win this argument. "Not a hair on my head better be harmed from where I'm standing."  
  
"You can count on it," Sehun would reply, beaming at his meister.  
  
  


  
But despite everything else, despite all the comparisons, there are just things that make Sehun _Sehun_.  
  
Sehun is goofy. And Luhan wonders why he hasn't noticed that before. Sehun has some really strange expressions that make Luhan laugh to himself when he's out of the room. He's goofy and funny and really, Luhan should pay more attention to him if he needs a good laugh. Sehun doesn't try so hard to be funny and Luhan can understand why everytime he sees him with Jongin and Tao, they all look like they're just having a good time. Sehun does make good company.  
  
Sehun is also attentive. Luhan hadn't realized it at first. But the small things he used to mention are the things Sehun still remembers. Like how Luhan hates mushrooms in his food and Sehun would switch his with him without mentioning it at all. Or how Luhan likes falling asleep with the lights on rather than in a pitch black room and Sehun would leave a small lamp on until he dozes off. Luhan didn't notice these things at first and he doesn't remember ever mentioning them. But somehow Sehun always knows.  
  
Sehun is also, well, _fine_ , sort of precious too. Luhan thinks he's precious when he laughs. He looks younger than he usually is when he laughs out loud, legs kicking at the air and throwing his head back. He also looks precious too when he sleeps. When Luhan catches him all sprawled out on the couch, not making it to his bed due to the exhaustion of a day’s fight, Luhan sees a kid, jaw slack and his snore loud enough to reach Luhan’s room. Sehun is precious and sometimes, Luhan feels bad for pushing him to his limits that he does cut him a bit of slack when he messes up sometimes. And well, it helps when they're fighting. Luhan has this urge to make sure he's safe everytime he commands him to do something. Luhan doesn't want him hurt.  
  
But most of all, Sehun is a good weapon. He’s learned so much and trusts Luhan much more than that last incident. There are still a few bumps in their link. But they communicate and feel each other’s presence much better than before.  
  
Luhan is pleased with Sehun and he finds himself sometimes thanking his stars that after everything they’ve both been through, he’s glad he ended up with him.  
  
  


  
Sehun ducks and rolls away as a lamp post falls in front of him. He then stands up, knees bent and eyes trained on the soul that’s causing a rampage by his side.  
  
_Slip inside the alleyway on your right and approach it from the back,_ Luhan says as he observes the way the soul is still trying to find Sehun among the debris.  
  
_I won’t be able to see you-_  
  
_I know that,_ Luhan replies and he tries to ease the discomfort Sehun is shooting down their link at not being able to have Luhan within his line of sight. _I’ll talk to you so you know I’m still here._  
  
_Luhan…_ Sehun crouches down and steps away from the soul’s view.  
  
_You'll know if something happened to me anyway. You'll feel it._  
  
Sehun frowns down their link. _Don't. That's a bad joke, Luhan._  
  
Luhan sighs. _If you don’t do this now, it’s going to reach the town square and you know we can’t let that happen._  
  
Sehun sends a small frustrated huff back as he finally slips inside the alleyway, obeying his meister. The soul doesn’t see him and continues to dig at the debris they caused earlier, looking for him and buying them time.  
  
_What’s it doing?_ Sehun asks impatiently. Luhan can sense he’s running fast, the tone in his head almost panting.  
  
_Still looking for you,_ Luhan relays. _Once you see it, tackle it from behind. Use the barbed wires from the debris to string it’s neck._  
  
_Got it._  
  
The whole thing goes smoothly. Luhan watches as Sehun takes it by surprise, tackling it down on the ground and smashing its face in concrete before tying its neck up and strangling it.  
  
_Good,_ Luhan says, approaching them. _Now make sure its-_  
  
_Luhan get out of the way!_  
  
Luhan’s eyes widen when the soul’s claws protrude and he jumps out of the way before it can swipe or haul anything at him.  
  
He rolls on the ground away from the commotion and looks up just as Sehun punches his fists through the soul’s skin hard, hard enough for his fist to go through. Sehun then throws another punch, smashing his fists until the soul is finally out, blood pooling beneath them as proof.  
  
Luhan rights himself up and breathes, looking at the mess before him. He walks back carefully to where they are, his steps timed and careful. He’s not afraid of the soul. But he is wary of Sehun’s rage that he can still feel running through their link.  
  
“Sehun,” Luhan calls out and Sehun whips his head at him, half of his face covered in the soul’s blood.  
  
_It’s fine. It’s out now_ , Luhan says, walking closer. Sehun’s eyes are locked on his and Luhan stops just a few feet from where they are.  
  
Sehun is looking at him with a hard expression on his face.  
  
_You're hurt,_ Sehun says as he comes down from the soul’s neck and approaches Luhan.  
  
_Me? I’m fine. It didn’t even get to me-_  
  
Sehun reaches out with his clean hand and touches the side of his face. At his touch, Luhan flinches when he feels something sting and he steps back from Sehun’s hold to see his weapon’s once clean hand filled with his own blood.  
  
He was apparently hit by a flying debris, the rocks and stones cutting the side of his face. It’s a long cut about three inches long from his cheek to his ear. It’s not serious. But it is quite deep that Sehun has him place his head on his lap that night as soon as they arrive back to their inn to patch him up. Luhan fusses how he can do that himself but Sehun is more stubborn than he is, getting to their medical kit first and demanding that Luhan better stay stay still.  
  
Luhan sighs, closing his eyes and he tries not to cringe when he feels the sting from the medicine Sehun is using. Sehun’s fingers are light, making sure not to dab too hard at the cut.  
  
Luhan feels Sehun’s hand brush away his hair that’s covering his face when Sehun gives a sharp intake of breath and something like anger courses through their link. Sometimes, they find themselves still connected. It’s not as strong as what they have in a fight but it’s enough to detect hints of emotions.  
  
Luhan’s eyes spring open at that. He feels Sehun’s fingers trace something on his head and he knows what it is that has caught his attention.  
  
Sehun doesn’t say anything and Luhan waits for him to just ask. But he never does. Luhan ends up lying there on his lap while Sehun traces the scar on his scalp. The scar that serves as a remnant from that time he almost died the first time and one that Luhan is thankful is hidden from anyone’s view. Until now.  
  
“You can ask,” Luhan sighs and Sehun’s fingers stop. As much as he hates people seeing his scars, Sehun’s fingers on them seem oddly comforting and he wishes he’d continue. And well, he can feel curiosity now trickling down their link.  
  
“Why did you want to go back?” Sehun asks. It took a moment for him to ask and Luhan wonders if he had to choose his words wisely.  
  
Luhan stares blankly at the window right across from them.  
  
“Why would you want to serve Death even after what you were faced with,” Sehun continues.  
  
Luhan has no idea how Sehun knows about his accident. But then again, a lot of people know. It’s not exactly a secret and talks from the old days end up floating around the academy still.  
  
Luhan, realizing how tense he is, eases back comfortably in Sehun’s lap.  
  
“Being a weapon is everything to me. To stop becoming one would be like to stop breathing.”  
  
Luhan closes his eyes again as Sehun starts running his hands through his hair. He’s not tracing his scar anymore but rather, just touching him. He likes it.  
  
“I want to do everything I can to breathe,” Luhan continues. “To live.”  
  
“But you’re not a weapon anymore…” Sehun replies.  
  
“No,” Luhan opens his eyes and gives a small smile at how Sehun is pointing out the obvious. “I’m not. But being a meister comes close.”  
  
Silence fills them and Luhan likes how it doesn’t sound so uncomfortably loud. It’s nice and peaceful. Sehun continues to card his fingers through his hair and it makes Luhan sleepy.  
  
“I know how that feels like.”  
  
Luhan turns to him slowly and Sehun’s fingers stop moving. This has Luhan sit up, pat his hair back into place and check on the cut on his cheek on his reflection by the window. Sehun patched him up really well.  
  
“You do?” Luhan asks, turning to him. He wonders why Sehun would say that.  
  
Sehun stares at his hands on his lap.  
  
“I’m meant to be a meister. My family, generations and generations of them were meisters. But somehow, I ended up becoming a weapon.”  
  
Sehun gives a small choked laugh that doesn’t sound like what he said was funny at all.  
  
He’s never seen Sehun’s parents. He’s never even heard of him mentioning them once. Families usually come to visit their children once in awhile. Luhan’s parents visit him whenever they can. But Luhan can’t seem to remember Sehun’s own folks visiting him.  
  
When Jongin and Tao were drafted for their missions with Kyungsoo, their families had been there. Luhan remembers Jongin’s sisters fussing over him when they left and Tao’s mother with proud tears in her eyes. Even Kyungsoo’s brother was there. But Luhan only remembers Sehun just urging him to go so they can be on their way.  
  
Sehun must be from one of those families, Luhan realizes. The ones who uphold their status and think highly of themselves than the others. He’s seen people like them around. And it’s not just the meisters. There are families who take so much pride in their weapon populated generation.  
  
Luhan understands then the drive that Sehun shows when he fights and how that makes him a strong weapon. Who wouldn’t fight that way when they were abandoned and betrayed just because they weren’t living up to someone else’s expectations.  
  
Loved ones can be so cruel.  
  
“You're not meant to be a meister,” Luhan says and this has Sehun look at him, his fringe falling just above his eyes. Luhan offers him a smile. “You're meant to be a weapon. Mine.”  
  
His. His weapon. It felt nice saying that out loud.  
  
Sehun blinks back at him a few times and then smiles back looking quite relieved to hear this.  
  
They defeat five more souls within the week and another week later Luhan is sent a letter that he just rose up a level. Sehun is so happy for him, Luhan staring at the letter in his hands as if he couldn’t believe he just earned it so soon and Sehun laughs at how dumbfounded Luhan is.  
  
It's not even awkward when Luhan is suddenly pulled into a hug, Sehun crushing the life out of him and exclaiming proudly to the whole post office that Luhan is a level one meister.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Luhan is upset and Sehun knows why.  
  
It started that morning as they checked out of their inn. They’ve been staying in the eastern part of the region for about two weeks now and it’s time they head out to another one. The souls they’ve managed to collect during their stay was enough for now, enough that Sehun is past fifty souls and they both wanted a change of scenery. Luhan suggested they should head to the west. The weather would be nice this time of the year, he said.  
  
With their bags packed and their payment already settled, they headed downstairs to the lobby when they were greeted with a large group of students. Senior students from the academy. They were on their scheduled field trip this semester with a few of the faculty.  
  
And among that few was Yixing.  
  
Sehun wasn't surprised to see him. Yixing works at the academy and it was only natural that he’d be with the group. But he was surprised to see him at that moment. He and Luhan have been outside the city’s walls for too long that the life inside it, along with Yixing, seemed like a distant memory.  
  
Until that morning.  
  
Yixing stood by the counter, holding the set of keys the innkeeper gave him. He hadn't seen them yet but when he turned to his students, he stopped and stared at Sehun and Luhan who were standing halfway down the stairs. He looked surprised to see them as well.  
  
Sehun could see from the corner of his eye that Luhan was frozen in place, form tense and rigid. He wondered then just how much Yixing still has a hold on his meister and why Luhan can’t seem to let go. It’s been months. And still, things haven’t changed when he thought it had.  
  
The corners of Sehun’s mouth had tightened as he thought about things he shouldn't but he stopped himself from continuing further when he felt Luhan’s discomfort down their link. Now was not the time to feel like his needs were more important than what Luhan was possibly feeling at that moment so instead, he had pushed aside all irrational thoughts and placed a hand on his meister’s back gently, urging him to go on.  
  
This seemed to jolt Luhan back to reality and they continued down the stairs. They stopped when they were in front of Yixing because it would seem inappropriate not to acknowledge each other’s presence. Yixing nodded at them. Sehun only gave a small bow with his head and looked at the doorway leading outside. He heard Luhan give a small reply back, enough that nothing followed right after. There weren't anymore pleasantries afterwards and Sehun followed his meister out the door.  
  
They still haven't spoken to each other even after a few hours later as they continue towards the direction of their next destination  
  
He can tell Luhan is still upset and Sehun knows it was because he saw Yixing. He still can’t understand why. He no longer feels uncertain, the way he felt earlier when he entertained the thought of his meister being under another person’s hold. He had asked him to trust him and Luhan is still with him. This, keeping his mouth shut and keeping his thoughts at bay is Sehun’s way of reciprocating that trust.  
  
Sehun looks at Luhan, walking with his eyes trained ahead but he knows his thoughts aren’t with him.  
  
“Hey,” Sehun starts, nudging his meister on his side. He's had enough of the silence. Luhan looks at him, blinking away what Sehun guesses are what he’s worrying about.  
  
“What?” His meister asks.  
  
“We should grab lunch on the next town we pass if we want to last till sundown,” Sehun suggests.  
  
To this, Luhan softly laughs. Sehun stares back at him, surprised at this kind of response when a while ago, Luhan looked far from laughing at anything.  
  
“What?” Sehun asks this time and Luhan adjusts the bag he’s carrying on his shoulder.  
  
“I knew this morning’s breakfast wasn’t going to last either of us…”  
  
Sehun resists the urge to groan. He knows what he’s talking about. Earlier that morning, Sehun had taken the initiative to make a simple breakfast. Just a simple meal consisting of fried rice and eggs. He wanted to be able to do something for his meister. Not that Luhan ever cooks for him either. But he just wanted to do something.  
  
It had seemed like a good idea in his head. Only that he hadn’t really thought it would be that difficult until he got right down to it.  
  
“I’m sorry, okay?” Sehun reasons out a second time, the first being that morning when Luhan looked at his plate of burnt food.  
  
Luhan only laughs at that, still teasing him about it.  
  
“Really, Sehun, how can anyone go wrong with fried rice. It’s just a lot of leftovers tossed into rice,” Luhan replies, still grinning at him. “And the eggs. Frying eggs aren’t that hard.”  
  
“Says the person who doesn’t even know how to cook,” Sehun huffs.  
  
“At least I don’t go around bragging about it.”  
  
“I wasn’t bragging!” Sehun exclaims as Luhan continues to snicker.  
  
“Right.”  
  
Sehun throws him an annoyed look and continues to bicker with his meister about it. Luhan is laughing. He should probably keep this going until they reach their next destination if he wants Luhan to keep on laughing like this. He’d rather have Luhan tease him around and bicker with him than to have him all silent and contemplating.  
  
The sound of dried leaves crunching makes Sehun and Luhan stop bantering in an instant and they both turn around to see what that was. Sehun’s arm is at a protective stance, blocking Luhan behind his back as his eyes scan for anything unusual. The sound they heard was faint but his senses have heightened through time. Sehun doesn't have to look at Luhan to know that his meister had heard it too.  
  
None of them speak up, all their senses on high alert. Sehun is ready to fight against a soul this early in the morning. Better now than to wait until they're both tired from walking all day.  
  
It takes a while for anything to show up. And when it finally does, it's none other than a little girl stumbling through the pathway.  
  
Sehun straightens up, slowly dropping his arm to his side as she sees her pick herself up and dust off her dress. She looks a little over eight years old, her pigtails askew and her right cheek smudged with dirt. She pouts at the dirt in front of her dress and Sehun relaxes when he hears her sniffle.  
  
He wonders what she's doing out here. Minors outside the towns without any supervision is against the law as it is very dangerous to travel with souls lurking about. Sehun wonders how this little girl's parents can let their child wander around like this. She's too young and Sehun knows she's definitely lost.  
  
“Sehun.”  
  
Sehun feels Luhan curl a hand around the back of his shirt, tugging him to stay when he had taken a step forward to help the kid.  
  
Sehun looks over his shoulder at him.  
  
"What?"  
  
Luhan doesn't reply, his eyes focused on the sight in front of them.  
  
Sehun doesn't wait for him to say anything. He takes another step forward when he feels Luhan tug at him again.  
  
“Luhan, she's lost. We should help her."  
  
But Luhan only tugs at his shirt harder, keeping him still. Sehun frowns, noticing the uneasiness coming from him prickling through their link.  
  
“Luhan, what are you-”  
  
“Don’t you find it odd,” Luhan says quietly. “That her parents aren’t with her?”  
  
“Like I said, she's lost,” Sehun repeats. “Now come on. The next town is just a few meters away. We can drop her off there. She probably got separated-"  
  
The little girl starts giggling interrupting Sehun. He looks at her, her hands covering her mouth and her eyes crinkle in delight as she looks at them. Sehun watches, fascinated by her laugh and at the state she's in when he realizes that it's not delight he's seeing in her eyes.  
  
He watches as the tie on her pigtails break and her hair starts getting longer. Wilder. Her face starts looking different as well. Her body is growing, her dirt smudged dress adapting to the change and she suddenly doesn't look eight anymore.  
  
She stops laughing and removes her hands from her face.  
  
The smile is gone. What Sehun sees instead is a sneer.  
  
"What the," Is the only thing that escapes Sehun's lips before a gust of wind hits them. Luhan immediately grabs Sehun just as the ground splits up and starts shaking.  
  
Sehun covers Luhan with his body as dirt and bits of rocks start flying at them from the wind blowing so hard. He squints trying to see past everything flying around them but Luhan tugs him back down.  
  
_Stay put,_ his meister commands and Sehun does so, obeying him.  
  
_What kind of soul is that?_ Sehun asks, shifting him and Luhan further back behind a huge rock for safety.  
  
_That's not a soul, Sehun.  
  
What?  
  
That’s not a soul. That’s a witch._  
  
Sehun freezes in place.  
  
A witch. Here. Now.  
  
Suddenly, the events earlier that morning don’t seem that important anymore. All thoughts of how to make Luhan feel better is gone in an instant. What replaces it now is the need to keep him safe.  
  
He's not ready for a witch. Luhan knows that and Sehun knows it as well. There’s a reason why there’s a number order. Ninety souls first and then a witch. Weapons were never taught about the real reason why they needed that order only that it was necessary for them to become a scythe. Apparently, only a meister is taught that reason and is sworn into secrecy that they’ll only pass it down to their weapons when the need arises.  
  
Luhan told him that reason. When he got to his fiftieth soul, Luhan sat him down one evening and explained to him the real reason for that order.  
  
When a weapon has taken ninety-nine souls, Death prepares themselves for the ultimate fight: a fight with a witch. Death helps them by giving them a special gift. It’s a gift that can help them defeat a witch but it can only be given once they’ve made themselves worthy by taking in ninety-nine souls. Each gift is different from every weapon and it comes with a special mark on their wrists.  
  
Luhan never got that gift. But his old meister was able to tell him that reason before they parted ways.  
  
“It’s something you can only use and control,” Luhan had said to him. “It’s a special mark of a scythe.”  
  
And right now, Sehun doesn’t have it.  
  
Sehun grits his teeth in frustration. Of all times that a witch shows up, it had to be before he can complete all his souls. He’s well aware that coming across a witch is rare and he desperately wants to take this one down now. But he also knows the consequences. How it’ll only reset their count and he’ll have to start from the very beginning if he takes this witch down now.  
  
Provided the witch doesn’t get to them first.  
  
_We have to go back,_ Luhan says. _We have to go back where we came from._  
  
_That’s already miles away,_ Sehun argues, shifting them again as the wind picks up. _We can make a run for the next town._  
  
_We don’t know how far that is. At least we know how long it’ll take for us to get back.  
  
And you think she won’t get to us then?_  
  
They’re interrupted when everything is suddenly silent. The wind has stopped and Sehun and Luhan both look at each other. He can tell his meister is anxious. It’s his first time to go up against a witch too. Both of them are clearly aren’t ready and Sehun hates that he can’t fight to protect him right now and all they have to do is make a run for it.  
  
_You think-_ Sehun starts when Luhan’s eyes suddenly widen as he sees something behind him. Sehun spins around but Luhan pushes him to the side.  
  
Sehun rolls against the dirt, cursing as the ground scrapes his arms. He looks up quickly only to let the gasp in his throat die when he sees the witch lift Luhan by his neck.  
  
_Don’t even think about it!_ Luhan shouts down their link and even the voice in his head sounds like it’s struggling. _Get out of here!_  
  
Like Sehun is ever going to leave him here. Sehun wonders furiously why Luhan is so stupid to even think he’d even follow that kind of command.  
  
Sehun growls as he lunges towards the witch, arms circling around her waist. Taken aback, the witch releases Luhan and claws at Sehun. Her touch burns, whatever powers she has leave scorching marks on Sehun’s neck and face. But Sehun doesn’t let go. He pins her to the ground, grabs a lock full of her hair and smashes her face down the ground.  
  
She screams, an ear splitting scream that has Sehun even falter atop her back but he doesn’t let go.  
  
_Luhan!_ Sehun yells, wanting to know how his meister is doing but he needs his eyes on the witch too.  
  
_I’m fine,_ Luhan responds. _Get off her back quick and let’s go!_  
  
Sehun grabs her hair again to smash her head to the ground just so he can cause enough damage and not kill her. But the witch is too smart this time. As Sehun lifts her by the hair, she easily pushes herself up even with Sehun’s weight on her back. Sehun digs his elbow on her spine but it’s useless as she grabs his arm, burning him again.  
  
Sehun let’s go of her, the searing pain in his flesh causing him to back off a little.  
  
_Sehun-_  
  
_I’m good,_ He replies, picking himself up and glaring at the witch who’s crouched down on the ground, her attention on something else and Sehun doesn’t want to know what.  
  
_Get out of her way,_ Luhan instructs firmly. _We can’t fight this._  
  
Sehun, keeping quiet, backs away from this fight and makes his way over to Luhan. He keeps tabs on the witch that’s muttering to herself when she suddenly stops and looks up at Sehun.  
  
_Shit,_ Luhan hisses and the next thing Sehun knows, the witch is charging after him wildly.  
  
Luhan commands him quick to knock her off her feet and Sehun just does that, crouching low and sweeping his leg under her. She falls but is back up so soon, crawling towards Sehun with that ugly sneer on her face. She stretches her hand out and Sehun hears something cracking behind him. Luhan yells at him to get out of the way just as the tree behind him falls.  
  
The tree missed him by a foot and he clambers back up. Something comes flying in his direction and he sees it’s her. Sehun readies himself when something else lunges at her and they both tumble down the ground.  
  
Sehun watches as Luhan delivers deadly kicks to her stomach, sending her reeling from the blow. He rushes over to help, grabs a nearby rock that’s big enough to inflict damage. Luhan instructs him what to do down their link and distracts the witch until Sehun stands behind her, raises the rock on her head and brings it down hard, hard enough that she crumbles to the ground.  
  
Sehun pants, looking at the bloody mess they created.  
  
“I didn’t kill her, did I?” Sehun asks, worried that if he did, he’d have to start over again.  
  
“No,” Luhan says, grabbing his hand quick as they make a run for it. “But we’re not staying long enough to see her get back up.”  
  
They both run. They’ve dropped their bags somewhere and they don’t bother to pick it up. Unlike souls, witches are unpredictable. Staying in the vicinity of one even in their unconscious state is dangerous.  
  
Sehun looks at Luhan and notices the burns circling around his neck where the witch took him. Sehun probably looks worse, burn scars all over his face and his arm. But it doesn’t stop either of them. They run and they don’t look back and they don’t talk out loud for fear of being heard.  
  
Something suddenly grabs Sehun’s legs and the wind is knocked out of him as he hits the ground. He hears Luhan yell his name both out loud and in his head. He doesn’t have to look back to see what grabbed him. He has no idea how the witch could’ve gotten to them fast but there she is, pulling him by the ankles. Her hold burns at first, the same way it did when she clawed at his face but as she continues to drag him, the burn becomes scaldingly hot that Sehun kicks at her face until she lets go.  
  
Luhan is grabbing him by the arms to haul him up in an instant.  
  
_How are we going to take this thing down without killing it?!_ Sehun pants in Luhan’s arms. They both get up fast but it’s obvious he’s injured. The hold the witch had on him has caused damage to the tendon on the back of his leg. With all the adrenaline running through his body earlier he wasn’t able to feel the pain but now that he’s taken a breather, he feels it searing through his entire body. He clamps his teeth down the bottom of his lip, trying his best not to scream.  
  
_Get on my back,_ Luhan says, turning around for Sehun to hop on. It’s obvious Sehun can’t run and Luhan carrying him is the only way they can get out of here.  
  
_We’re not going to make it,_ Sehun replies and they both notice the witch crawling now towards them, her bloody face still sneering at them.  
  
_Yes we will._ Luhan hauls Sehun on his back and starts running as fast as his legs can carry the both of them.  
  
_I’m slowing you down,_ Sehun swallows the dread in his voice. _You have to leave me here._  
  
_Shut up!_ Luhan picks up his pace and maneuvers around the pathway leading back to the town they came from.  
  
Something lands atop them hard causing Luhan to lose his balance and Sehun falls from his grip. He rolls across the ground expecting another burning hold on him when he looks up and sees Luhan fighting the witch off himself.  
  
_Get to town!_ Luhan commands keeping his hands on the witch’s neck. Steam emits from it and Sehun knows his hands are being burned. Sehun disobeys him again as he pushes himself up to his feet so he can get to them.  
  
_For fuck’s sake Sehun I’m ordering you to get to town!_  
  
Sehun will _not_ get to town without Luhan. He will not leave him here. He’s going to kill this bitch and he doesn’t even care if his count is going to reset back to zero. He doesn’t know how he’ll be able to do it in this kind of condition but he’ll kill her. It would be better to start all over again than to leave his meister behind or have him dead.  
  
Something grabs him from behind and Sehun instantly tries to tackle whatever it is on the ground. Only that he comes face to face with Yixing and a wave of relief washes over him to see someone who can help them.  
  
“Luhan,” Sehun starts but Yixing is on it. He takes a knife out of the back of his holster and tells Sehun to stay put.  
  
Yixing rushes towards them when the witch turns her attention on Yixing. Luhan’s eyes widen to see him there but the moment is short lived when the witch stretches her hands out and Yixing is thrown back harshly.  
  
Yixing doesn’t seem fazed by this blow at all as he stands up quick but then a gust of wind comes at them again that he and Sehun are forced to run for cover from the leaves and dirt flying at them.  
  
“We need to get to Luhan!” Sehun yells at him when he’s grabbed by the collar. Yixing is looking at him angrily.  
  
_“Didn’t I tell you to protect him?! Huh?! What the hell have you been doing?!”_  
  
Sehun feels bile on his throat as he hears this. Protecting Luhan was always his priority. Yixing didn’t need to tell him that from the start. True, protecting Luhan at first had seem like a selfish reason. He wanted his meister alive because he needed one for his own gain. But these days, with everything they’ve been through, he just wants to protect Luhan because he thinks he deserves to live more than him.  
  
He was never a good weapon. He just had a great meister.  
  
And surely, if they make it out alive, Luhan can take on any weapon and sharpen them better than him.  
  
Sehun looks at Yixing in the eye.  
  
“Link with him.”  
  
Yixing’s eyes widen at that.  
  
“Link with him,” Sehun repeats. “We can get out of this if you link with him.”  
  
Yixing looks at Sehun like he’s crazy. Maybe he is. The last time they shared a link it was the most dreadful thing Sehun had to experience. No Luhan in his head. Nothing of his presence can be felt. But he’s willing to do that all over again right now if it means getting him out of there safely.  
  
Sehun pushes Yixing away from him. “Do it!”  
  
Yixing looks back at him one more time before getting back on his feet. The wind has stopped and Sehun moves from his place to look at them.  
  
Yixing stabs the witch from behind who releases her hold on Luhan. Luhan coughs, his hands shaking and eyes watering from the steam. Yixing grabs the knife back and hauls Luhan up.  
  
_I’m sorry,_ Sehun thinks as he watches Yixing blocking Luhan so he can get his bearings. _You asked me to trust you but now I’m asking you to trust him._  
  
_What the fuck are you going on about?_ Luhan coughs down their link and Sehun blinks in surprise. He wasn’t expecting Luhan to hear that.  
  
Luhan spins Yixing behind his back in an instant, delivering a blow to the witch’s face. The witch only cackles at that but is silenced when Luhan rams his elbow down her back.  
  
“It’s not working!” Yixing yells  
  
_What’s not working?_ Luhan asks.  
  
Sehun doesn’t give him a reply. With the rest of his energy, he pushes himself up and quickly heads towards them.  
  
Luhan glares at him. _Sehun get back!_  
  
Sehun keeps on moving, determined to help out in the fight. He doesn’t know what’s happening and why Yixing isn’t in Luhan’s head right now but he can’t just sit there and watch all this.  
  
_Sehun-  
  
Let me help._  
  
_Damn it Sehun!_ Luhan yells. _I don’t want to lose you a second time!_  
  
That makes the both of us, Sehun wants to tell him. He doesn't want him to die a second time.  
  
But instead, he says, _You won't_ before lunging for the witch himself.  
  
The witch’s touch burns again but this time, Sehun is ready for it. He knees her in the stomach and she coughs up blood in his face. The witch clambers atop him but Sehun rams his fist in her chest and she staggers. This has Sehun grab her hair, keeping her snapping teeth and that glowering look in her eyes away from his face.  
  
_Keep still,_ Luhan suddenly commands.  
  
_What?_  
  
“Hold her up for me,” Yixing says suddenly, standing by his head and Sehun does so. Yixing then crouches down low, revealing the knife in his hands and slices through her neck.  
  
The image of a beheaded witch is even more disgusting than that of a dead soul and it’s a good thing Luhan is there, pulling him away from the witch’s body before her bloody carcass topples over him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

It’s the sound of someone snoring that has Sehun stir from his sleep.  
  
Light seeps from the curtains as he opens his eyes and it takes him a moment to wonder where he is. He squints, getting his vision to adjust to his surroundings when he sees the pitcher of water on his bedside table, a couple of medicine jars and a bell. He’s in one of the rooms of the hospital and he vaguely remembers being in here yesterday.  
  
The sound of someone snoring has Sehun shift his attention back to whoever it is. Only he doesn’t have to look around for the source when he feels it on his neck. Someone is snoring by his side and breathing evenly. He can feel the small puffs of air on his neck and there’s something heavy but also light around his middle that he guesses could only be an arm draped around his waist.  
  
Luhan is a heavy sleeper. So Sehun knows that no matter how much he moves right now or shake him awake, his meister wouldn’t be able to wake up. He’ll just have to wait until he finally wakes up on his own and right now, even if Sehun can’t tell what time it is, he knows it’s not going to happen so soon. It’s still a bit too early for Luhan to show any signs of life.  
  
Sehun stares at the ceiling, his hand lying atop Luhan’s arm. The arm that’s wrapped around him. His eyelids are still heavy from sleep but he pays it no mind. He remembers the events that transpired yesterday. The witch. The fight. The injuries. At the thought of his injuries, Sehun’s leg twitches. He tries to move it and he breathes a sigh of relief when it shifts slightly. It starts throbbing instantly as soon as he’s aware of the state he’s in, the pain travelling up to his body and to his senses. He stays still then, knowing how he’s still probably recovering and that moving anything isn’t a good idea for now.  
  
He doesn’t remember being in a room. He remembers Yixing and Luhan lugging him, both of them carrying his weight. A merchant on the way back to town saw them and they were lucky he was with a horse and a carriage. It made travelling back to town easier. The merchant brought them directly to the hospital where they were all treated for their injuries.  
  
Only that Sehun doesn’t remember much right after that. Maybe he did pass out. He only remembers demanding someone to look at his meister’s burns first rather than himself with Luhan arguing how he’s fine and that Sehun isn’t. And then nothing. He’s not sure what happened next. But everything probably turned out alright since he’s here, Luhan is by his side and they’re safe.  
  
The hospital bed is still too small for the both of them despite their small physique and Sehun feels his side cramping from the position. He has long limbs and his broad shoulders take up space. And yet, he can’t find it in him to wake Luhan up. His meister probably needs the sleep more than he does. In fact, his meister needs his own bed and he makes a mental note if an extra cot can be brought in while they're staying over.  
  
A soft knock on the door has Sehun looking at it expecting a nurse. But it’s Yixing. Yixing who looks like he changed into a new set of clothes so Sehun guesses it’s been another day.  
  
Yixing’s eyes travel to Luhan who’s still snoring. Sehun notes how his eyes linger at the arm draped across his waist and it makes Sehun feel slightly uncomfortable. He knows how this looks like right now. It didn't bother him earlier since he was too busy trying to recall what happened to him. But now that someone is here and Sehun is truly wide awake, he can understand what this looks like. He and Luhan have never been this touchy and close before and being studied like this makes his cheeks warm a little.  
  
Sehun shifts under his meister’s sleepy hold to provide a bit of space between them.  
  
“Don’t bother,” Yixing says, closing the door behind him. “He looks comfortable.”  
  
Sehun stops squirming as he looks carefully back at Yixing who’s making his way over to his side.  
  
“And you don’t have to be so gentle. You can shove him until he falls off the bed and he won’t even wake up.”  
  
This has Sehun almost laugh. It's true. Yixing does know a lot about Luhan. Which really shouldn’t be surprising. He was his weapon.  
  
Yixing settles the small bag he had been carrying on his bedside table.  
  
“Food,” Yixing says, motioning to what’s inside it. “You two haven’t eaten much in two days.”  
  
 _Two?_  
  
“We just got here yesterday,” Sehun replies, clearing his throat when he hears how hoarse his voice sounds.  
  
“Two days ago,” Yixing clarifies. “You’ve been asleep since we got you to a bed.”  
  
Oh. That’s why his throat feels so sore and hoarse and his limbs so heavy. He hasn’t used them in a while.  
  
“Has Luhan eaten?” Sehun asks. He sees Yixing’s eyes flicker to them on the bed again before busying himself with tidying up the table.  
  
“He ate the food Chanyeol brought over yesterday morning. I don’t know about the rest of the day.”  
  
Sehun is surprised. “Chanyeol’s here?”  
  
Yixing nods. “Luhan wrote to him. Said he needed him to go over your condition.”  
  
This has Sehun scowl. “I’m fine. I can move okay.”  
  
Yixing just shrugs in reply.  
  
Sehun watches as he finally finishes tidying up. Yixing seems alright. He doesn’t look like he was beaten up pretty badly like the two of them did. There aren’t any obvious scratches or bruises on him. There aren’t any burns that Sehun could see. But he’d like to be sure before the moment passes and asking him again would be awkward.  
  
“Are you alright?” Sehun asks.  
  
Yixing looks at him and then softly replies. “Yeah.”  
  
“Thank you.” Sehun swallows the thickness inside his throat as he says that out loud. “For helping us. If it wasn’t for you…”  
  
Yixing doesn’t say anything and Sehun just clears his throat once more.  
  
“I would’ve been dead by now and he…” Sehun’s fingers unconsciously close in on Luhan’s arm on top of his stomach. “He would be too.”  
  
Yixing looks at them both, his eyes on their hands now and this time, Sehun doesn’t pull away.  
  
“So thank you.”  
  
Yixing nods once and there’s a distant look in his eyes that Sehun can’t decipher. It’s similar to what he sees in Luhan sometimes and until now he can’t tell what it’s supposed to mean. Whatever it is, it has Yixing look a bit distracted and he only snaps out from it after a moment when he realized he spaced out.  
  
“Be careful next time,” Yixing just says, walking back towards the door and Sehun can tell he’s leaving. Sehun nods and without another word, Yixing leaves as quickly as he arrived.  
  
“I will,” Sehun says under his breath to the closed door.  
  
The room is filled with silence again and Sehun settles back into the bed to try and go back to sleep. But it’s apparent enough that he’s wide awake and he ends up shifting to his side so he can face his meister.  
  
Luhan is obviously still deep in sleep. His lips are parted where the soft snore is coming from. His hair is getting a bit longer now and is due for a cut and this has Sehun think about the amount of time they’ve spent together. They’ve been quite a team of meister and weapon for a long while now, enough that Sehun has witnessed his meister age. He knows that Luhan has witnessed most of his own physical changes too and it’s a very comforting thought to know that they’ve seen each of the other grow. That there’s someone who saw him grow into who he is today.  
  
They’ve grown. So much. Physically and well, in other things. Like their link, for instance. Sehun can’t deny the recent feel of their link that flows between them and how they can communicate better. Especially during their last fight. He recalls not having the usual frustration to obey Luhan aside from the stupid commands of leaving him alone. He can also feel his emotions better and can sense the other’s presence more clearly and he doesn’t have to ask his meister whether he feels the same thing from him because Sehun knows he does.  
  
He spends the entire morning reminiscing and when he shifts again, the urge to do his morning’s business has him finally getting up. Sehun has no choice but to prod Luhan awake so he can move. It’s about time Luhan needs to get up anyway or else he’ll be complaining about headaches and oversleeping like he usually does when Sehun finds him sleeping in too long.  
  
“Luhan,” Sehun shakes him by his shoulder. “Luhan, get up.”  
  
Luhan only replies in his usual state and Sehun has to shove and prod and raise his voice at him until he finally stirs.  
  
“What?” His meister mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. He’s also frowning with his eyes still closed, the corners of his lips tugging downwards showing how annoyed he is by someone disturbing his sleep.  
  
“I need to pee.”  
  
Luhan just gives a small grunt, releasing him from his hold and turning to another side. Sehun supposes he has fallen asleep again.  
  
When he emerges from the bathroom (which had taken a long time to do since he had to use the crutches provided for him on his bedside and balance all his weight on one foot and suppress the pain in the other), he sees Luhan sitting up slouched in his bed, rubbing his eyes and his hair tousled messily. Sehun is about to tell him to go wash up when the door opens without a knock revealing his therapist in all his giant glory.  
  
Chanyeol takes one good look at him standing and then at Luhan on the bed.  
  
“I wasn't aware I had a change of patients," Chanyeol says, eyeing the state Luhan is in compared to Sehun who looks fresh and wide awake.  
  
Luhan scowls at that.  
  
"And good morning to you too," Chanyeol adds before walking over to Sehun and helping him. "Shouldn't you be in bed? You're not allowed to walk around yet."  
  
"I needed to pee," Sehun explains, limping as he lets Chanyeol guide him back all the while trying to suppress the throbbing pain he feels. Luhan groggily moves to the foot of the bed, making space for Sehun as Chanyeol helps him on it. "I'm fine."  
  
"Uhuh," Chanyeol replies, obviously not believing him as he goes about checking his leg now.  
  
"Is he okay?" Sehun motions to Luhan. Luhan just pats his good leg lightly and yawns.  
  
"Yes, Sehun. I'm fine."  
  
"The burns?"  
  
"Already taken cared of." Luhan tugs the collar of his shirt down. "See?"  
  
True enough, the burns and bruises around his neck don’t look that much angry than the last time Sehun saw it. It’s still there and will probably stay until it completely heals.  
  
“Are _you_ okay?” Luhan asks and Sehun repeats what he just said.  
  
“I’m fine.”  
  
Luhan and Chanyeol look at each other before Luhan's hand dart out to squeeze Sehun’s bad leg.  
  
“Ow!” Sehun yelps, hissing as he slaps away Luhan’s hand.  
  
“Yeah, he’s not,” Luhan says to Chanyeol who’s observing all this.  
  
“Was that really necessary?” Sehun asks, glaring at him.  
  
“Yes,” Chanyeol answers. “I can’t give you a proper diagnosis on your leg if you aren’t honest with me.”  
  
“Well obviously it would hurt if someone squeezed it.”  
  
“But it was already hurting that much when you woke up and walked to the bathroom, didn’t it?”  
  
Sehun doesn’t give a reply at first and then finally grumbles back a "yes" as Luhan just raises an eye at him.  
  
“You’re not getting out of this bed for the rest of the day.” Luhan points out and Sehun just groans, lying back on the pillows to hide his misery. Sehun hates hospitals. The last time he stayed in one he had been bored to death. Only Jongin and Tao’s company made each passing day bearable. But this time, since neither of them were around, Sehun thinks he’ll really die from boredom.  
  
“It’ll heal, right?” Sehun asks. He doesn’t hide the worry in his voice.  
  
“It’ll heal,” Chanyeol assures him, bending forwards to look at the bandages wrapped around Sehun’s leg. “But again, it’ll take time.”  
  
“How long?”  
  
“A month, maybe. If you’ll keep to the therapy sessions.”  
  
A month. No battles for a month. No souls to take for a month.  
  
Sehun sighs. He’s grateful for Chanyeol travelling all the way over to where they are to make sure he’s okay. But this kind of news isn’t that much uplifting to hear.  
  
“You’ll be out of here in no time,” Luhan says, his voice filled with promise and somehow Sehun finds that reassuring to hear. “Just make sure you do your part and rest.”  
  
“Fine,” Sehun answers back and Chanyeol grins, reaching out to ruffle Sehun’s hair. Sehun just swats at his arm in reply.  
  
Chanyeol leaves them alone to check on other matters. Sehun eats some of the food Yixing brought them while Luhan showers. Chanyeol was kind enough to bring them a change of clothes from their living quarters back from the city since the bags they carried are already lost.  
  
Luhan emerges from the bathroom, his cheeks red from the steam and he hops on Sehun’s bed. They sit facing each other, Luhan sitting by his legs as Sehun hands him some food. Luhan doesn’t ask where it came from and Sehun doesn’t see the need to tell him.  
  
They talk about the fight that led them here. Luhan can’t stop going on and on how proud he is of him and how Sehun wasn’t even afraid of the witch as he lunged for her the first time. Sehun doesn’t tell him how wrong he is though. He understands now how witches are terrifying creatures and he hopes that they don’t meet one again so soon. He’ll add that whole bloody encounter to his experiences and learn from it when he has to face it someday.  
  
“All you need are twenty more souls until you can finally take on a witch yourself,” Luhan beams at him, bits of bread and cheese on the corner of his mouth.  
  
“Myself? I can’t take on a witch by myself,” Sehun says, tossing a paper towel at him.  
  
“Oh you know what I mean.” Luhan dabs at the mess on his mouth. “I can’t wait to see what you can do with whatever Death gives you on your 99th soul.”  
  
“Yeah well that’s not going to happen in another month since I’m stuck in here,” Sehun says bitterly.  
  
“Maybe Death will give you patience since you seem to lack any.”  
  
Luhan laughs as Sehun just throws him an annoyed look. Luhan really likes teasing him and Sehun decides to throw some back at his meister too.  
  
“Hmmm, I remember you clearly telling me something that day,” Sehun says as Luhan's laughter dies down.  
  
“What?”  
  
“ _You didn’t want to lose me a second time?_ ” Sehun teases back with a grin. Those words were cheesy and now that he said it out loud himself, he can’t help but cringe too. Although when Luhan shouted those words in his head at that time, it had made him feel ridiculously happy.  
  
Luhan rolls his eyes at him. “I was caught in the moment.” Luhan smooths out the blanket by his side. “But that was… true.”  
  
Sehun slowly drops the grin as he looks at him.  
  
“Really, I…” Luhan pauses, his eyes on the blanket. “I was always worried about losing battles and letting that become a judgement of how weak I am. But at that moment, I didn’t even think about the fear of losing another battle.” Luhan raises his eyes at him. “I just didn’t want to lose you.”  
  
Sehun holds his meister’s gaze at that. Now this wasn’t making him cringe at all.  
  
There’s a knock to his door that Sehun has to tear his gaze away from Luhan as they both look to see who it is. To their surprise, it’s Kyungsoo’s head they see popping in as it opens, an apologetic look on his face.  
  
“Hey, um, is it alright if we come in-”  
  
The door opens all the way as Jongin and Tao barge in so fast. Sehun is then smothered with hugs, Jongin already climbing atop the bed by his side and Tao checking his injuries on his leg and making sure he’s fine.  
  
“We heard you went up against a witch-”  
  
“What happened?!”  
  
“You didn’t kill it did you?”  
  
“If you did, how?!”  
  
“Was it ugly?”  
  
“What kind of powers did it have?”  
  
“Are these burns from her?!”  
  
Luhan chuckles at the sight of Sehun’s friends all over him and he leaves the bed to give them all some space.  
  
“What are you guys doing here?” Sehun asks but Jongin and Tao only respond with a barrage of concerned and excited questions.  
  
“Sorry about this,” Kyungsoo says sheepishly above all the chaos. “They really wanted to visit.”  
  
“It’s fine. I’m glad you got my letter so soon. He’s okay,” Luhan replies.  
  
Kyungsoo looks at Luhan, concerned. “Are you okay?”  
  
Luhan nods. “Why don’t we leave them here for awhile. Coffee?”  
  
“Yeah, I could use some,” Kyungsoo agrees and they both head out of the room.  
  
When the door closes behind them, Sehun is once again smothered with questions that he has to push his friends away from his space so he can breathe.  
  
“Not that I’m not happy to see you two but what are you guys doing here?” Sehun looks at his friends’ faces.  
  
“Luhan sent Kyungsoo a letter of what you two went through,” Jongin starts as Tao sits beside him. Sehun bites back the smile on his face at how considerate his meister is for letting his friends know of his condition. Jongin and Tao are important people to him too and for his meister to acknowledge that makes him feel grateful.  
  
“We think it was a warning to be careful around the vicinity.” Tao adds.  
  
Jongin nods. “And since we were on the next town we decided to visit.”  
  
Sehun frowns. “Luhan told you it wasn’t safe.”  
  
“Yes but there’s three of us,” Tao says proudly and Sehun has to squeeze his hand and explain to his friends carefully why they should heed Luhan’s warning.  
  
Jongin and Tao listen as Sehun tells them all that he and Luhan went through and how, if it wasn’t for Yixing showing up, none of them would’ve been able to come back alive. He tells them what they’re doing could get them killed for real if they’re not careful and that it helps if they listen to Kyungsoo and trust him. Jongin looked scared at the things Sehun told them, especially about the witch being anybody they think is harmless. Tao looked tense, a clear sign that Sehun knows his friend is now considering all this seriously.  
  
“Strange that Yixing was there though,” Jongin says. “Strange but lucky enough that he showed up.”  
  
“Yeah,” Sehun replies.  
  
“Nothing happened… right?” Tao asks eyeing Sehun carefully. “I mean, wasn’t he Luhan’s old meister? They didn’t try to form a link or anything, did they?”  
  
Sehun never told his friends that Luhan and Yixing once shared a link in front of him. That’s something he wouldn’t like to share. But there was something about the progression of their link. Links are special and personal and for others, intimate that sharing it out loud would be inappropriate. But Sehun wants to talk about it. He has no one to talk to about it and he won’t divulge much. Tao and Jongin are his friends and he trusts they won’t tell anyone else.  
  
“No,” Sehun answers back. “I wanted them to-”  
  
“You _wanted_ them to?” Jongin gasps.  
  
“Yes,” Sehun admits. “Because I know how strong they used to be together and it was the only way we could get out of there safely.”  
  
An image of what they went through flashes through his head. How Luhan was fighting it alone and there was only so much Sehun can do. His leg throbs again when he remembers the witch gripping at his ankle. He doesn’t regret that moment when he asked Yixing to link with Luhan.  
  
“But they didn’t,” Tao says.  
  
Sehun shakes his head. “No. It didn’t work. Luhan was still in my head.”  
  
They both fell silent then, taking in their friend’s account.  
  
“It’s strange though,” Sehun speaks up.  
  
“What’s strange?” Tao asks.  
  
“Our link… I don’t know how to explain it better but it felt… stable. You know?” Sehun looks up at his friends' curious stares. “I haven’t felt that before. Like I can hear him more clearly and feel his presence better. Following his commands felt easier too. Except for the ones that told me to run away. I couldn’t run away.”  
  
The thought of leaving Luhan alone in battle feels absurd. Even if someone dragged him away from there, he’d fight back until he got Luhan out with him.  
  
“I used to disobey his instructions and commands easily. But now it just feels like... like-”  
  
“Like you’re stuck together,” Jongin says, a smile on his face like he knows exactly what Sehun is talking about.  
  
Sehun blinks back at that. “Yeah.”  
  
Stuck wasn’t the actual word he was looking for but it did feel like that.  
  
He doesn’t say anything afterwards. Nor do any of his friends. They spend the rest of their time just lying there all huddled together, missing each other’s company. They can’t all fit in the bed but they manage without jostling Sehun’s leg. Sehun relaxes in Jongin’s hold while Tao wraps a protective arm around his waist, his head lying on his chest. This reminds him that Luhan isn’t the only person who cares about him and these people are his family too and that he should really take care of himself for them. He truly missed them so much.  
  
A nurse comes in after a while to tell them visiting hours are up and Jongin and Tao have no choice but to leave. They promise to see each other again soon and Tao goes on ahead to fetch Kyungsoo.  
  
“Take care of each other, will you?” Sehun says before Jongin leaves too and Jongin nods.  
  
“We will. And oh,” Jongin stops. “About your link.”  
  
“What about it?” Sehun asks.  
  
“That strange thing you feel about it, the one that’s stable and nice?” Jongin smiles. “It’s love.”  
  
Sehun just looks at his friend who gives him a small wave before closing the door and leaving him alone to his thoughts.  
  
 _Love?_ Sehun stares blankly nothing. _Love? How can any of that in their link be love?_  
  
He’s interrupted by Luhan coming in with two mugs of what could only be hot chocolate in his hands judging from the delicious smell it brings.  
  
“Hey,” He greets. “Chanyeol brought us cake.”  
  
“Oh, thanks,” Sehun replies. “But I’m not really that hungry.”  
  
“Great. Because Kyungsoo and I ate it.”  
  
Luhan snickers as he settles the mugs beside him before heading to the bathroom. And all the while, Sehun just stares at him and thinks about what Jongin said.  
  
 _Luhan? Love?_ Sehun laughs, picking up the mug and bringing the drink to his lips.  
  
 _Yeah, right._


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

The dagger he carries around with him is light.  
  
The blade is slender, its length reaching the middle finger to the base of his palm. The handle is black and designed for an easy grip. It’s light but sturdy and easy to use. It doesn’t look all that deadly. But in Yixing’s hands, it is.  
  
“For you,” Min had said when she gave it to him before departing with Death. She had pulled him aside after the ceremony and after hers and Yixing’s parents congratulated her for being a scythe.  
  
“I don’t need this,” Yixing replied, giving her a concerned look. Min had seen that look and told him not to worry where she got it. Had it specially made, she said. As a parting gift.  
  
“Just keep it.” Min pressed the dagger fully sheathed in beautiful black leather into his palm. “I’ll be gone for awhile and I won’t be able to sleep knowing how you’ll be here without me.”  
  
Yixing had chuckled, pulling her in a tight embrace as he kissed his cousin on the side of her head. His dear sweet cousin who’s now a fully bloomed scythe.  
  
“Still the same overprotective brat I know.”  
  
Min had scowled at him but held him tightly back before pulling away.  
  
A year later, when Min was allowed to come home for a visit, Yixing had already mastered how to use it. Min had been pleased to see her gift being used well.  
  
“Tell me honestly,” Yixing had said to her as they sat at the front porch of their house while their parents were back at the dining room enjoying small talks and slices of fruit. “Why did you give me this?”  
  
Min looked at the dagger by his side and smiled at him apologetically.  
  
“You never trusted me.”  
  
Yixing frowned then. “That’s not true.”  
  
“Links never lie,” She said, placing a comforting hand atop his. “And every single time we fought, I could always tell you were uneasy. You were so good at hiding it, masking it with commands. But I could tell you didn’t trust me enough to protect you.”  
  
Yixing was so surprised and hurt that his weapon would say that. It had made him wonder just how long she had been keeping this from him.  
  
“That’s not true,” Yixing replied. “I trust you. Still. I was always uneasy. I am your meister after all. It’s my job to be uneasy when my weapon’s out in the field.  
  
Min had laughed softly then and placed her head on his shoulder.  
  
“Oh Yixing, even after all these years… Why can’t you just admit that the only person you trust that can protect you is _him_?”  
  
Yixing hadn’t known what to reply then. Min had been right and he sat there feeling disappointed in himself. Min knew about Luhan and what he felt about him. She wasn’t only his cousin but the sister he never had. She was the only person Yixing confided in.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Yixing apologized that night. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.”  
  
Min squeezed his hand.  
  
“I know. That’s why I gave it to you.” Min had pulled away to look at him. “Because the only person you trust aside from him is yourself.”  
  
There was so much truth in Min’s words that Yixing felt numb at the thought of how selfish he’d been for so long.  
  
“I can’t protect you all the time now,” Min continued. “I need you to protect yourself. But you know what else?”  
  
Yixing turned to look at her.  
  
“I wish you can be honest with yourself. Someday.”  
  
Be honest.  
  
That conversation always drifts back to him but tonight is the longest time Yixing thought about it. He’s sitting at a pub just three blocks down from where he’s staying. He and a bunch of other meisters and weapons stayed at the same inn with the students they’ve accompanied on this field trip. He hadn’t wanted to come. But they were short one meister that he had no choice but to go. It’s been a week since that field trip ended. His students and colleagues are already back at the city. But Yixing had asked to stay.  
  
Yixing nurses the drink he ordered in his hands as he sits by himself. He chose the farthest end of the pub to sit where no one would bother him. He’s on his third drink, the liquid soothingly warming his insides as he thinks to himself.  
  
He didn’t expect Luhan would be here. Their paths seem to cross no matter how much Yixing tries not to see him. Because seeing him only makes him feel a lot of things. For one, he’s angry. Luhan has decided to become a meister and Yixing left him in the first place so as to keep him away from risking his life. He’s angry that what he did, breaking his heart, was all for naught since Luhan’s still out there, calling the shots this time and fighting with an incapable weapon.  
  
Seeing Luhan also makes Yixing want to take him back. And Yixing doesn’t know which one is more likely to keep him safe. Take him back and protect him himself since he knows how to do that now or break his heart even further so Luhan can forget about being a meister or weapon. Both options are cruel. Yixing can’t take Luhan’s dreams and aspirations away from him. But Yixing is willing to do what is necessary to keep him safe.  
  
He knows Luhan loves him still. The link they shared that he wasn’t expecting would still exist between them was still there and Yixing had savored every moment of it. Luhan being able to hear him and Yixing telling him what to do was something he only dreamed about and had accepted it would never happen. But it did and Yixing has never stopped thinking about how perfect it still is, how the feel of their link is still the same as it once was, so clear and comfortable and how it felt like home.  
  
Until what happened recently.  
  
He wonders if Sehun knew that Yixing would have a hard time getting inside Luhan’s head again. He wonders if Sehun said it to him out of spite. He did threaten him awhile back, his frustration over having Luhan almost getting killed happening all over again. Maybe Sehun knew and he couldn’t blame the boy for getting back at him.  
  
But it didn’t seem like it. Sehun looked genuinely scared for Luhan. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk the feel of a link being broken and being abandoned just to spite Yixing. Sehun is different now too and Yixing doesn’t need to have a link with someone to know how stronger they’ve become and how much he’s grown. He saw it in Sehun’s eyes that day. How desperate he was to keep his meister safe.  
  
Yixing stares at the blade he settled in front of him. At first he had been looking at it just to think about Min’s words to him but the longer he stares at it, the longer it feels like it’s taunting him. _Be honest with yourself. Someday._  
  
The school semester is ending in a week. Yixing’s time at the academy is almost up. He hadn’t renewed his contract because he wasn’t sure what living back at the city would mean. There was that tiny hope that maybe he would see Luhan again. Maybe seeing him would make things right between them. It had been so tiny, so miniscule, and then had turned into something big until recently when he can’t get inside Luhan’s head that the hope he carried felt like the light he had inside of him had been snuffed out like how one would snuff out a light burning from a candle.  
  
Be honest with yourself, Min had said. And Yixing wants so badly to be honest. Maybe it would make things better. Maybe it would make Luhan look at him like a friend again rather than someone who hates him. Because he can’t live like this thinking that the last words he said to Luhan were lies and he wouldn’t want to let Luhan believe them for the rest of his life. That Yixing had played him. That Yixing would think he was weak.  
  
Maybe if he told Luhan the truth, things would be right again.  
  
He’s not hoping to get him back. There isn’t any link between them anymore. Not even a hint of it and Yixing respects that. Getting him back would be a miracle and he doesn't deserve a miracle with what he did to him. As he sits there with the drink in his hand and his eyes trained on the dagger, Yixing resolves not to let that light burn bright inside him again. Luhan has finally moved on. He should too. Luhan deserves better. Luhan deserves someone who doesn’t bring him down. And it can’t be Yixing.  
  
All he wants is a reconciliation. All he wants is for Luhan to forgive him.  
  
The thing about leaving oneself to their thoughts with more than a few glasses of liquor is that it never ends well. Yixing staggers out into the streets and makes his way back to the inn and he longs to curl up in bed and get rid of the pounding in his head as well as the numbing sensation he feels on his tongue. He’s not completely drunk. But he is heavily intoxicated and he can feel the effects of it thundering in his temples.  
  
He fumbles for the keys to his room and lets out a small sound of frustration when he can’t open the door. He can’t see where the slot for the keys are and he leans by the doorway to balance himself when the door opens so suddenly and he shuffles backwards, swaying on his feet to see who it is.  
  
Luhan is there in front of him, the light from inside the room casting shadows on his serene and beautiful face. He’s looking at him, surprised and it’s like he can’t understand why he’s there. Yixing is looking at him the same way too, wondering why Luhan is in his room when he realizes after a few seconds that this _isn’t_ his room.  
  
“Yixing?” Luhan asks, holding the door open still. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Behind him, Sehun steps into view, balancing his weight on the crutches he’s holding and probably wondering the same thing.  
  
 _I wish you can be honest with yourself. Someday._  
  
Yixing looks at Luhan and feels the weight of the dagger in his back and what it symbolizes. The need to be honest. The need to make things right.  
  
A reconciliation.  
  
He makes a decision then and with all his strength, opens his mouth to say the words that he hopes would make things better.  
  
“I love you,” Yixing breathes. “I’ve always loved you.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Luhan never wakes early in the morning unless necessary.  
  
Sleep is something he genuinely treasures even if his weapon grumbles at him about it all the time.  
  
“It’s not healthy.” Sehun would say when he finally manages to have his first cup of coffee in the afternoon. “You’ll get a headache throughout the day if you keep that up.”  
  
This morning is a little different yet still the same. Luhan hasn’t slept in. In fact, he hasn’t gotten any decent sleep at all. Yet he still has a headache. Although he supposes this is a different kind of headache, one that’s not brought about by long hours of sleep or the lack of it. He supposes this kind of headache will keep pounding at his head away until whatever this is gets resolved. And he has no idea when that’ll be.  
  
He’s sitting by the small bar they have in their room at the inn, elbows on top of the counter as he rubs his temples. On the other side of the bar is Sehun frying up eggs for breakfast on the small stove. The sound of the eggs cackling in the heated pan serves as the background noise to his and Sehun’s silence.  
  
Back at his room, Yixing is asleep. Luhan hasn’t gone in to check on him at all, not even when he was lying awake in the middle of the night on the couch in the living room. He was drinking. Luhan was able to tell from the smell of his breath as he helped him to his room. Yixing didn’t look like he would’ve lasted a minute longer on his feet and his eyes looked sunken. His words were all slurred too and that’s the only thing keeping Luhan from breaking. That maybe he hadn’t heard him right and what he said wasn’t true.  
  
 _I love you. I’ve always loved you._  
  
Luhan closes his eyes and rubs his temples again.  
  
There’s silence in the small kitchen they have and this has Luhan slowly open his eyes to see Sehun just standing there, balancing half his weight on the crutch and staring at the pan. Luhan’s not hungry. Neither is Sehun. But the eggs are already cooked and the stove is turned off. There’s no noise to fill in the quiet anymore and it’s unsettling.  
  
Sehun hasn’t been this quiet in a while. The last time Luhan remembers him being this quiet was when Sehun was angry at him for sharing a link with Yixing. Luhan understood then why he had been angry and quiet. But this time, he’s not so sure why.  
  
He seemed fine that evening before Yixing knocked on their door. Luhan was helping him dress his wounds and burns. Chanyeol was able to release them from the hospital in just over a week much to Sehun’s enjoyment and they had spent the evening talking about where to travel next when he can walk better.  
  
Luhan glances down at his coffee cup that’s almost empty. He wants to know why Sehun is being silent but he knows that there are important things to trouble over right now. Like the fact that the man who left him all those years ago actually loves him still.  
  
Luhan hates this kind of headache. He hates how he hasn’t slept at all.  
  
“Do you still love him?”  
  
Luhan blinks back at his coffee cup. At first he thought it was his thoughts he was hearing. But then he realizes his thoughts sounded a lot like Sehun and he looks up and finds Sehun’s eyes looking back at him. That’s when he knows he was the one who asked.  
  
They’ve never talked about what he and Yixing have and what they once were. But Sehun coming to a conclusion that there was something between them isn’t surprising because Luhan thinks it’s obvious enough. Though he’s not sure why his weapon finding out about it without Luhan telling him anything upsets him a little. Because he’s not sure what stories he has been hearing and whether they were the right ones.  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Luhan replies quietly. He doesn’t know the answer to that and this seems like a suitable reply.  
  
He lowers his eyes to the sink behind Sehun. He’s not interested at the sink. For some reason, he just can’t look at Sehun in the eyes as he answered him.  
  
“I’m not. I want to know.”  
  
Luhan glances back up at Sehun again who has a hard look on his face.  
  
“What’s it to you?” Luhan snaps at him. He can’t help it. Sehun is looking at him like this and he wonders why he’s using such a harsh tone to reply.  
  
“I’m your weapon,” Sehun answers, still looking at him in that way. “I deserve to know everything about my meister.”  
  
Luhan finds that this answer irks him more than it should.  
  
“Is that all I am to you? A meister?”  
  
Sehun’s eyes darken even further.  
  
“Don’t turn this around on me.”  
  
Luhan looks away again, Sehun’s words ringing in his ears.  
  
Does he love him? Does he love Yixing?  
  
 _Yes._  
  
But... still?  
  
Luhan stares blankly at nothing. He doesn’t know the answer to that.  
  
He must’ve stayed silent for so long and he doesn’t blame Sehun when he picks up the pan with the eggs on them, places it in front of Luhan and then leaves. Luhan doesn’t make such a good company right now and he lets Sehun does what he wants. He listens as the silence is replaced by the sound of the door closing and his crutches thudding down the hall and towards the stairs until it eventually fades and Luhan is left alone again.  
  
It was wrong to let Sehun leave, Luhan thinks as he stares at the eggs on the pan all dried up now. He should’ve handled that better. But really, what else is there to say? What _can_ he say? He’s not sure about the answer he can give him and he doesn’t want to lie.  
  
And why should he even explain himself? Why would it matter to Sehun whether he loves Yixing still or not?  
  
 _Fuck this,_ Luhan curses in his head. There isn’t any right or wrong answer to this. He should go after Sehun.  
  
He hops off from the stool he’s sitting on and as he turns to head for the door, he sees Yixing emerging from his room, clutching the side of his head. At the sight of him, Luhan stops and takes in his presence.  
  
Ever since Yixing left him, all Luhan has ever felt is the feeling of dying. And he hates it. He hates that he has to put up this facade that he’s alright. That his lungs aren’t closing in on him whenever he thinks about what he’s doing with his life or he doesn’t get all these voices in his head telling him how he’s not good enough and that he’s weak.  
  
And now that Yixing has come back, his anxieties have erupted, making him question everything he’s worked hard so far.  
  
It’s tiring. Luhan is tired from all his insecurities lashing out at him. He’s at fault too for letting them get to him.  
  
So when he sees Yixing standing there in front of him, now that they’re both alone, now that Luhan is filled to the brim with every single insecurity his mind can throw at him, he _breathes_. He breathes and he loves the way the air rushes through his lungs filling him with anger and _life_. Because this person, _this person_ who thinks he’s worthless, is toying with him again and this time, Luhan is prepared. Luhan isn’t going to curl in on himself and cry and tremble in front of him. Not this time.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Luhan asks, his voice coming out in a hiss. Yixing drops the hand that’s clutching the side of his head as he looks at him.  
  
“What are you doing here?” Luhan asks again, not even hiding how annoyed he sounds. “I get you’re here for Death and your duties to the academy but why are you barging in on my life all over again?”  
  
Yixing doesn’t seem to have a reply for that.  
  
“ _You_ broke up with me. _You_ ended it,” Luhan breathes, the words giving him life as he says them out loud. “And then you come in here after all these years lying about telling me you love me-”  
  
“That wasn’t a lie.”  
  
Luhan feels as if the air was just knocked out of him and his eyes widen at that.  
  
“That wasn’t… a lie,” Yixing says slowly as he walks up to him, shaking his head. “I love you. I still love you.”  
  
Luhan can’t breathe once more. Just hearing those words has everything crash into him again. What he said last night is still true. How could all this not be a lie? Yixing left him. He didn’t love him.  
  
It has to be a lie. Luhan wishes it was a lie. Because it’s all too good to be true and he loves Yixing too only that…  
  
Luhan drops his gaze and it settles on the small living room they have. His eyes find Sehun’s belongings on the couch and the medication he takes every night on top of the coffee table. He’s aware of his slippers by the door and the eggs on the pan behind him as well as their towels hanging side by side on the bathroom rack.  
  
Why is he thinking of Sehun at a time like this?  
  
“I’m leaving tomorrow,” Yixing speaks up. “I’m not going back to the academy.”  
  
Luhan’s attention snaps back to him.  
  
“What?” He can’t help but raise his voice at that.  
  
Yixing takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, looking away.  
  
“My contract is up and I… I’m going back.”  
  
Luhan looks at him in disbelief.  
  
“After what you just said? You can’t expect an answer from me in an instant. That isn’t something I can get back to so easily.”  
  
“I didn’t say that so I can get an answer from you. I said that so you would know.”  
  
Luhan doesn’t understand this at all.  
  
Yixing steps closer to him but maintains a good distance from Luhan’s personal space.  
  
“I’ve never seen you as weak,” Yixing starts and Luhan still can’t believe he’s hearing this from him. “I always knew you would become a great weapon.” Yixing looks at him like he’s pleading for Luhan to understand. But Luhan can’t understand this. “You’re not weak, Luhan. You were never a burden.”  
  
“Then why.” Luhan fights back the hysteria in his voice. “Why would you destroy what we had?”  
  
All those times they were happy together. All those times Luhan woke up next to him and he'd be there. When Yixing made him laugh and smile. All the things Yixing taught him and how he made him a good weapon. How he taught him how to let go of all his fears when he fights. How to learn how to trust his meister. Why… Why did he leave him?  
  
“Because I love you,” Yixing replies and he says this so simply as if Luhan should’ve known the answer to that all along. “I love you so much that I didn't want you to get hurt.”  
  
And then he understands.  
  
Luhan looks at him. Luhan looks at his resigned eyes and sees how apologetic he is. He sees the truth and he understands why Yixing did it. Why he broke his heart and why he left him all those years ago. Why he had to crush every bit of his dream. Why he felt like he had to.  
  
And all Luhan can do is look back at him in disappointment, shaking his head slowly.  
  
“That was not your decision to make.”  
  
Yixing looks at him a moment longer and lowers his head. Luhan knows he understands that too as he nods.  
  
“I know. I'm sorry.”  
  
Yixing doesn’t stay around any longer after that when Luhan can’t seem to form any more words that can help them both. Yixing leaves and he leaves behind an apology that Luhan doesn’t know how to answer to.  
  
Yixing is sorry.  
  
But all Luhan can think of is that sorry doesn't count at all.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is nothing.  
  
Luhan blinks around the darkness in his room and realizes that the curtains are closed, a thing he doesn’t remember doing. He had fallen asleep instantly yesterday when he stayed up all night and he must’ve slept in. He doesn’t know what time it is or how long he slept. There’s faint light peeking in between the gaps of the curtains so at least he knows it’s morning.  
  
Groggily, he sits up and yawns and gets his eyes to focus. He then stretches and pads to the windows, opening the curtains wide. Bright light welcomes him and Luhan turns away from it, scowling at how blinding and cheery it is. If he’d have it his way he’d leave them closed. But he feels the muscles in his back sore and his throat a little raspy and he knows it’s about time he got up. He heads back to his bed though and plops himself down the mattress with his face first in the pillows, opting to laze around for a moment before he finally heads outside.  
  
It turned out to be a wrong move for the pillows smelled like liquor, one he doesn’t remember smelling the night before. But that’s because he was too sleepy to notice anything. Now that he’s awake, he can smell the scent of it and he’s about to turn to another side when he smells something else. Something familiar.  
  
The faint scent of Yixing’s shampoo lingers and Luhan stops moving. He remembers making Yixing sleep on his bed last night. He takes it in, recalls how even if it’s been so long, there are some things that haven’t changed. Like Yixing still taking the same shampoo. Luhan closes his eyes and buries his face further in the pillows, inhaling deeply.  
  
He missed him. He’ll never deny that. What they had was something he can’t ever replace and Luhan clutches at the pillow, his grip on it tight as he imagines just for a moment that they were back to what they once were and he’s in their bed at their old quarters. Yixing will be by his side and when Luhan will turn around, he’ll see him asleep and be content to know that he’s there.  
  
But as much as he wants to linger at the thought of Yixing still there, Luhan finds that he can’t stay in that memory. It doesn’t feel right anymore. He missed him. But to hold him again and kiss him and love him like how he used to love him doesn’t feel the same.  
  
How does one deal with someone who they thought abandoned them and betrayed them only to find out that it was because they didn’t want you to get hurt? Was that love? What kind of love brings down someone else? Yixing knew what being a weapon meant to him. He knew it was everything he ever wanted. And Yixing took that away from him because he what, loved him? Didn’t want him to get hurt anymore? Didn’t want him to die a second time around? That sounds so stupid and endearing at the same time that Luhan doesn’t know whether to blush like an idiotic fool or laugh at him.  
  
And… Does he love Yixing?  
  
It’s Sehun's words that come back to him. _Do you still love him?_ Luhan clutches at the pillow tight and breathes. Yes. The answer is still yes. He'll always love Yixing. He was his friend. They grew up at the academy together. Yixing taught him so much and Luhan will never forget that. He’ll never forget how in love he was. Yixing made him happy. Yixing loved him and Luhan will always love him back.  
  
But to love him like he used to love Yixing? To love him again. Hold him and kiss him and wake up every single day with him and doing it all over again.  
  
Luhan knows the answer to that. But he can’t quite admit it to himself yet.  
  
A small thudding sound can be heard in the living room and Luhan can tell it’s Sehun making his way around on his crutches. He didn’t come back until late in the evening. Luhan stayed up to wait for him. He was worried. He wouldn’t want Sehun to run in a few souls in his condition and without him. But he also knew the town they’re in is safe. Sehun arrived home a few hours later looking just fine and when Luhan asked if he had dinner, Sehun had only replied that he wasn’t hungry and went to his room.  
  
Whatever he said yesterday or whatever it is that’s keeping the two of them like this, Luhan doesn’t want it. He gets up from bed, doesn’t bother to pat his hair down or brush his teeth. He heads to the living room instead to talk to Sehun.  
  
He sees him standing by the doorway. The door is open and Sehun has his back to him, staring at something on the ground. Luhan sees there’s no one and he wonders what he’s looking at.  
  
“Sehun?” Luhan calls out to him. “What is it?”  
  
Sehun shifts on the crutch he’s holding, bends down to pick something up and turns around. There’s a piece of paper on his other hand, the one that’s not holding on to the crutch.  
  
“What is it?” Luhan asks again because there’s a troubled look on Sehun’s face.  
  
“It’s Yixing,” Sehun answers, handing the paper to him. “He… He left.”  
  
Luhan walks over to him and takes the note in his hands.  
  
 _I’m sorry. Goodbye._  
  
It’s such a short message. But Luhan reads it over and over again.  
  
Goodbye.  
  
He’s surprised he feels nothing like he thought he would feel. There’s a bit of heartache. But it’s not the kind he felt all those years ago when Yixing left the first time. This time, it hurts because he made a friend leave without coming to terms with him. Because after everything that happened between the two of them, Luhan wants to say sorry too. He wants to apologize for harboring all those ill feelings towards him. He wants to say sorry for all those years they could’ve just stayed friends. _Sorry that I didn’t fight for you once. Sorry I didn’t ask you to stay. Sorry that I’m not fighting for us again. Because I think it’s better this way for the both of us. Sorry I can’t tell you that we’re okay. That I think you’ll do well without me._  
  
Sorry that I still love you because you’re my friend. Thank you for being my friend.  
  
Thank you for loving me.  
  
Friend. He realized he just called Yixing a friend.  
  
Luhan reads the note one last time and crumples it. He doesn’t want to read it again. Maybe it's too fast but it's been years. He’s tired. He doesnt want to hold any grudges. He doesn't want to live with the feeling of dying. He's too old and too tired for that.  
  
He knows the answer to that question he was thinking about earlier. He can admit it easily to himself now.  
  
He'll write him a letter soon. He'll make amends.  
  
A hand is clasped firmly on his shoulder and he looks up from the crumpled note in his hands and stares at Sehun who’s looking at him with this firm expression on his face.  
  
“You can chase after him,” He says. “You still have time. He could’ve left late for all we know-”  
  
“I’m hungry.”  
  
Luhan’s reply has Sehun blink back at him in confusion.  
  
“Go make me some from fried rice,” Luhan says, patting Sehun’s hand on his shoulder.  
  
Sehun stands there dumbfounded as Luhan just heads to the kitchen and starts making coffee.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Sehun is busy studying the map and the trail he and Luhan are traveling to in the morning when his meister suddenly laughs out loud. Sehun looks up from what he's doing, curious as to what has gotten Luhan in a good mood and he sees Luhan smiling at a letter he's reading from across the table.  
  
Sehun frowns.  
  
Luhan looks up too, probably sensing Sehun looking at him and he gives him a sheepish grin.  
  
"Sorry," He apologizes. "I'll keep it down."  
  
Sehun stares at his meister going back to reading the letter in his hands as if his laugh was the cause of Sehun frowning and he scoffs in his head. Whatever. As if that letter is any more interesting than the map.  
  
It's been a month and Luhan has been writing and reading letters from Yixing. Sehun doesn't know what they're talking about. He'd like to know. His meister always seems excited whenever there's a new one.  
  
"Is it from Yixing?" Sehun asks, his eyes scanning the map but he's not paying any attention to it. He knows the answer to that but he still asks.  
  
"Yeah," Luhan replies.  
  
"How is he?" Sehun fights to keep his teeth from gritting too much.  
  
"Oh he's doing really well," Luhan says, smiling as he tells him this. "His father has given him the family business and Yixing is managing it quite nicely. The vineyard they have is amazing and really beautiful. I remember spending one summer there..."  
  
Sehun lets Luhan go on and on about Yixing and his amazing vineyard as he seethes in his seat. He doesn't care about that. He doesn't care how Yixing is doing. What he actually wants to ask is what is going on with him and Yixing exactly? Are they friends? Are they seeing each other? Have they gotten back together? Sehun wants to know those kinds of things. He does not want to know about the damn vineyard.  
  
But he doesn't ask that because he has his pride and well, Luhan is happy. Sehun likes seeing his meister happy. Luhan is no longer the grouch he used to know. It's as if a cloud has been lifted away from his head. It's a very nice sight and Sehun likes it a lot that sometimes, it doesn't matter to him if Yixing is the reason behind it. He doesn't mind. He cares about his meister that if he's happy, that's all that matters.  
  
Fine, he's also jealous. But that's not important.  
  
It's extremely foreign for him to feel this way. Jealousy. It doesn’t feel nice at all. So he keeps it to himself. Luhan being happy helps him forget it. Truly, he doesn't care about the reasons behind those ridiculous looking smiles and that lovely sound of his laughter.  
  
“I'm going to bed,” Sehun says when Luhan finishes telling him about his summer where he and Yixing had chased after a cat in his home and whatever else he had been telling him that he didn’t pick up.  
  
Luhan looks up at him and stands up as well. “Wait!”  
  
Sehun watches as he picks up the soothing medicine he puts on every night. Luhan has been putting it on for him every night without fail. Sehun usually forgets to do it himself.  
  
It’s been a month and Sehun has had enough of being cooped up in one place. He had asked Chanyeol if he could please _please_ allow him to go back out on the field already and after a proper diagnosis, he was deemed fit to go back. Although there’s still some times that his leg throbs, Sehun keeps it to himself. He can move around okay, can train properly. He doesn’t need his crutches anymore. Luhan said they won’t be finding any souls for another month more since he’ll teach him how to use his other leg to throw kicks. This is fine with him if it means getting to do something useful again.  
  
Luhan ushers him inside his room and has him lie down on the bed. Luhan sits on the foot of it, Sehun’s leg on top of his lap as Luhan rubs his calf with the soothing medicine he has on.  
  
“I can do that you know,” Sehun says, watching his meister massage his leg.  
  
“You can. But you always forget.” Luhan presses on a sore spot and Sehun jerks. Luhan looks at him instantly, his forehead creasing.  
  
“Does it still hurt?” He asks.  
  
Sehun busies himself with the pillows.  
  
“No.”  
  
Luhan presses down harder and Sehun grabs his hand.  
  
“Okay fine it does. Please don’t say we have to stay behind now.”  
  
Luhan looks at him and Sehun adds in a pout if it helps.  
  
“Can you still walk?” Luhan screws the lid on the medicine back on.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Run?”  
  
“I jogged this morning.”  
  
Luhan pats his leg and covers it with a blanket.  
  
“If you insist on leaving tomorrow, get up at four. You will start getting back on doing yoga and meditation.”  
  
Sehun does not whine about this but nods.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, whatev-”  
  
Sehun doesn’t finish what he’s saying when Luhan is reaching out to him, his hand cupping the side of his face. Sehun tenses as he looks at him carefully. He’s just inspecting the burn he has, that’s all. The one that’s fading away. Luhan isn’t touching him for no reason at all aside from just inspecting his injuries like what a meister does.  
  
“When something hurts, you have to tell me.”  
  
Sehun feels the light stroke of Luhan’s thumb on his cheek as he looks at a spot on his jaw.  
  
“Don’t hide anything. Don’t lie to me. We have to be honest with each other.” Luhan tips his head up a little to check on his neck. “I learned that the hard way.”  
  
Sehun doesn’t know what he’s talking about.  
  
“I am honest.” Sehun grumbles and Luhan lets go of him as his eyes find his.  
  
“Honest enough to tell me what you’re thinking?”  
  
Sometimes, Sehun wonders if Luhan knows. That Luhan can tell when he’s worried or sad or deep in thought. Or when he’s jealous. It scares him to think about it. Sehun doesn’t want Luhan to know he’s jealous. Jealousy makes him feel rotten and he doesn’t want Luhan to think of him as a rotten person.  
  
“I’ll… try,” Sehun says and Luhan nods.  
  
“Thanks. I don’t want to be just your meister you know.” Luhan smiles at him and Sehun’s mind makes up a dozen meanings about what Luhan is possibly saying. But he doesn’t have the right answer for it. He only has the answer he wants it to mean.  
  
Luhan bids him goodnight and turns off the lights for him. And before he’s about to drift off to sleep, there’s one thing he can’t stop thinking about as well.  
  
How Sehun doesn’t want to be just Luhan’s weapon either.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
The day he gets his ninety-ninth soul is the day Sehun will never forget. Well, that and the day he gets his witch.  
  
That day, when Sehun stares down at his ninety-ninth soul, his face caked in blood from the soul he just defeated, Luhan had been hovering around him.  
  
“Why are you fussing?” Sehun asks him as Luhan wipes his face with a towel and starts checking on Sehun. He keeps on lifting his arms and looking at his wrist and muttering something about “Where is it? They said it would be here.”  
  
“What are you looking for?” Sehun keeps on asking but Luhan only continues to talk to himself until they get back to their inn.  
  
Sehun showers and change, washing away the grime and the dirt from the fight and when he emerges from the bathroom to the kitchen, he smells something burning.  
  
“Luhan?” He yells, getting to his meister and he hears him cough in the thickness of the smoke.  
  
“I’m okay,” Luhan replies, coughing harder. “I just left the fish on for too long.”  
  
“How many times have we talked about this? We suck at cooking,” Sehun says, waving away the thick smog. “Where are you?”  
  
“Here,” Luhan coughs up some more and his voice is so small that Sehun is suddenly alarmed. The smoke is getting thicker too and Luhan’s voice seems so far away.  
  
In a burst of panic, Sehun charges through the smoke determined to get Luhan out of there. His eyes water and he too coughs when he can’t seem to breathe properly.  
  
 _Luhan, where are you?_ Sehun says through their link instead as he maneuvers around the kitchen blindly. His hip hits the edge of their small dining table and he curses under his breath.  
  
 _I’m right here._  
  
 _Where?_ Sehun stumbles on a chair.  
  
 _Here._  
  
Frustration washes over Sehun and he’s about to just shout for his name when a gust of wind clears the thick smog revealing Luhan on the ground by the door, his hands over his mouth and his nose. He has his knees close to his chest and Sehun instantly helps him up, turns off the stove, grabs the pan with the fish that’s the culprit from all that smoke and tosses it in the sink.  
  
“You okay?” Sehun has Luhan’s face in his hands, wiping away the black smudges on his cheek and his nose.  
  
Luhan nods once, coughs up some more and then grabs his hand and turns his wrist over.  
  
Luhan gasps at what he’s seeing and Sehun studies his own hand wondering what he’s looking at.  
  
There just below his palm, right where his pulse is, is a small black circle mark tattooed on his wrist.  
  
“What the hell is that?” Sehun starts wiping it off but Luhan stops him. He starts pointing at it, bouncing on the balls of his feet and saying something Sehun can’t understand since he’s just coughing and wheezing everything out.  
  
“What?” Sehun asks again and Luhan shouts through their link excitedly.  
  
 _Death’s gift! You have it! You have it!_  
  
After when they’ve finished cleaning up the kitchen and assuring the owner of the inn and their neighbors that everything is fine, Luhan sits Sehun down and asks him where the wind that blew off the smog came from.  
  
“I don’t know. Maybe I left the windows open?”  
  
Luhan makes a face at him.  
  
“ _You_ did it.”  
  
Sehun only looks at him like he’s crazy.  
  
“This is what Death gave you to get your witch.”  
  
Sehun doesn’t believe him at first. But then he remembers certain details about the past weapons he and Jongin and Tao look up to. Zhou Mi. Yunho. Siwon and Hangeng. Soojung. Even Chil Hyun, Headmistress Boa’s weapon, had a black ink on his wrist when he would accompany her around the academy. He had thought nothing of them at first but now, it does make sense that he should have it by now too.  
  
But he still can’t believe it as he stares at the mark he has. It resembles a circle with small wisps of blank ink on the sides and interlacing ones in the middle.  
  
Luhan likes looking at it. Sehun doesn’t know what to think of it yet.  
  
They spend another month training his new found ability. Wind seems to suit him, surprising Sehun all over again. He thought it had been a very weak ability. Wind wasn’t a very disastrous element. Until he almost uprooted trees by accident did he thought wrong.  
  
“Do you ever wonder sometimes what yours could’ve been?” Sehun asks Luhan as they sit on the grass on a nearby forest after training and eating their lunch. They train in any isolated areas so no harm comes to the people passing by and no one can see what he can do. It’s not proper for a weapon to start bragging Death’s abilities in people’s faces.  
  
“Yes. Every time.” Luhan replies.  
  
“And what do you imagine your abilities would’ve been like?”  
  
“A lot of things,” Luhan chuckles. “But mostly I imagined I could lift and throw things with my mind.”  
  
Sehun snorts at that. “That’s lame.”  
  
Luhan gets back at him by finishing the rest of their lunch and leaving nothing for him.  
  


* * *

  
  
Witches scare Sehun wherein he thinks he’ll never be able to kill one. He’s scared that when the time comes for him to face a witch, he’ll never be able to take it on his own and he and Luhan will face the same predicament they had in the past and this time, both of them wouldn’t be able to walk away from it alive. Because to Sehun, there’s nothing scarier than not being able to protect Luhan. Meister or not, Sehun would go through lengths to keep him alive.  
  
He was right. But only the part where he won’t be able to take it on his own. Because a weapon never works alone. He’ll only be able to defeat a witch with Luhan by his side commanding him what to do and with Death’s gift in his hands.  
  
No one wins against anything by themselves, Sehun learns. Everyone needs help along the way.  
  
He kills a witch with Luhan giving out commands in his head and with the wind in his hands. This witch had been a challenge. Instead of burning him, it had the ability to distort what he saw and every single time the witch picked herself up, she made Sehun see Luhan on the ground with his eyes closed and lying in a pool of blood. The witch knew his fears and Sehun would’ve lost this fight easily if it wasn’t for Luhan in his head telling him it isn’t real. He’s safe. He’s not dead. He’s always behind him. Watching out for him. Always.  
  
And all Sehun had to do was trust him completely until he lifted the witch on her feet with the wind and choked the life out of her.  
  
He’s kneeling on the ground when it all ends and he feels so exhausted. He’s never felt so exhausted in all his life. From the time he entered the academy up to this point in his life, Sehun’s mission was just to be a scythe. He knew of no other dream than to take his ninety-nine souls and his witch and he feels exhausted when finally, after so long, it all ends.  
  
Luhan is rushing towards him, crouching down and waiting for him to respond to him. But when he doesn’t, Luhan cups his face in his hands and Sehun looks back at his meister’s worried face.  
  
“Sehun?” Luhan breathes. “Sehun, where does it hurt?”  
  
Hurt? Nothing hurts. Sehun doesn’t know what Luhan is talking about.  
  
“What?” Sehun asks, his voice hoarse.  
  
“Where does it hurt?” Luhan asks again. “Are you injured? You’re crying…”  
  
And that’s when Sehun realize there are tears streaming down his face. He’s not hurt. He’s not sad either. He’s just exhausted. And he’s also so _so_ happy.  
  
Luhan understands all this so fast as Sehun looks at him and he sinks to his knees at once and cradles Sehun in his arms.  
  
“I’m so proud of you,” Luhan whispers in his ear as he rocks him in his arms in a tight embrace. “You did so well. You’ve grown so well, Sehun. I’m so proud.”  
  
Sehun hasn't cried in a very long time. He doesn’t even remember when was the last time he cried. But he will remember this time. He will remember how happy he was that he’s going to become a scythe. That he has made Death and his meister so proud and he clutches at Luhan back as he lets the tears fall and they both laugh in the middle of nowhere from being so happy.  
  
There's an inauguration ceremony for the weapons and meisters who made it through that year. Sehun stands beside Jongin and Tao and Luhan and Kyungsoo beam at them on the other side of the stage. On their wrists is the mark of what they have become: Death’s abled and loyal servants. His scythes. Sehun sticks his chest out proudly as Luhan pins on his robes the symbol on his wrist. Sehun honors his own meister a silver ring with the same symbol that shows his gratitude for all the years of training him for this day. Sehun is proud of his meister too. His level three meister. Luhan has finally made it as well and throughout the duration of the ceremony, their hands find each other under their ceremonial robes, and they hold each other tight.  
  
Sehun’s family comes. His mother who he hasn’t seen in so long still looks beautiful even though she has aged. His father is still the stern faced man he remembers but they both look at him with proud eyes. Sehun’s mother kisses him on the cheek and embraces him and his father pats him on the back proudly. And yet, after all these years of living a life like this to please them, Sehun doesn’t feel contented. He dreamed of their acceptance and their love. He always wanted to be able to come home. To go back with the doors of his house opened for him. But it didn’t matter to him anymore. He didn’t care whether he made them proud or not or if he can ever come home. He made Luhan proud. Luhan never closed his doors to him.  
  
Sehun and Luhan’s families join for dinner in celebration and they both slip out of the restaurant and away from the chatter of their parents. Sehun’s parents weren’t even paying any attention to Sehun. All their eyes and ears were for Luhan and his parents because Luhan was a meister. _Their_ kind.  
  
It was Luhan’s idea to bring him back to the academy and up the rooftop. They stay there, lying down on the floor side by side and staring up at the night sky. The stars aren’t out fully tonight but Sehun thinks that’s okay.  
  
“I don’t like your parents,” Luhan says beside him.  
  
“They seem to like you,” Sehun replies and Luhan laughs.  
  
Sehun turns to Luhan and sees him with his eyes closed, smiling at nothing in particular. He’s so close that Sehun can reach over and trace his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He wants to do just that. To trace the curve of his lips and his jawline and count his lashes even if that seems ridiculous. He’s trying to memorize every tiny detail. Death’s scythes are bound to serve him for the first two years and Sehun is leaving tomorrow for it. He’s thankful that Jongin and Tao will be with him and he doesn’t doubt they’ll have the best adventure of their lives. But he’ll miss Luhan and he wants to spend every last minute with him before he leaves.  
  
Luhan sits up after a while.  
  
“I got you something.”  
  
Sehun watches as Luhan takes something from inside his jacket. It looks like a cloth and it’s bundled small but thick and when Luhan unfurls the thing, it becomes a nice looking satchel.  
  
“You’ll be traveling a lot,” Luhan explains. “It’s for the stuff you need to carry with you.”  
  
“I can’t fit all my clothes in there.” Sehun dodges a playful smack from him.  
  
“It’s not for your clothes. You just carry all the necessary stuff in it.”  
  
Sehun takes it from him and folds and rolls it carefully back. He’ll use it every single day he’s away from him.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
They both look at the evening sky again. They’re both so silent and Sehun wants to tell him things then. Things he has been keeping from him. He’s to leave tomorrow and he wants to tell Luhan everything. Why he always worries about him. Why he’s nervous about leaving. Why he feels jealous some times.  
  
He’s afraid of these two long years they’re going to be apart. And even if Sehun believes his meister will never forget him, he knows that a lot can happen in a span of two years.  
  
He wants to tell him to wait for him. But that doesn’t seem to be fair.  
  
“They say you did great when you’re not needed anymore,” Luhan speaks up, cutting Sehun from his thoughts.  
  
“That’s not true,” Sehun says sadly. He can’t believe his meister would think this. “I still need you. I’ll always do.”  
  
Luhan looks at him and gives him a soft smile.  
  
“It’s true,” Sehun argues, as if Luhan doesn’t believe him. “You’re still going to be my meister. I’ll still listen to you. And if I could I’d...”  
  
I’d stay, Sehun thinks. I’d stay here. With you.  
  
“You'd what?” Luhan asks, daring him to say it out loud. Sehun can tell Luhan knows what the end of that sentence was but even he wouldn’t dare say it out loud. Because Sehun can’t stay. Sehun’s duties and service are to Death now. He can’t stay.  
  
“Don’t say it,” Luhan says. “Don’t even think about it. Because I know that's not the life you want. Thats not the life I want you to have.”  
  
Sehun knows Luhan is right. He’s always right.  
  
“You’ve worked hard for this.” Luhan reminds him. “We both have. So you can’t… You have to go.”  
  
Sehun nods. Luhan scoots closer to him and Sehun doesn’t even think it weird that his instinct was to lean in and let Luhan wrap his arms around him. His meister is cold and Sehun breathes warm air into his neck.  
  
“I'm proud of you,” Luhan whispers in the night and Sehun buries his face in his shoulder. He’ll leave tomorrow. He’ll stand beside Death and fight alongside him. He’ll show him what Luhan trained him for all these years and he’ll make his meister even prouder.  
  
“Thank you for being my meister,” Sehun says.  
  
Luhan chokes out a laugh and Sehun doesn’t have to pull back to know his meister is crying quietly.  
  
“I’m glad I made you my weapon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that line Luhan said is taken from this http://lemonteaflower.tumblr.com/post/35433554398/you-know-you-did-great-when-they-dont-need-you


	20. End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Eater AU

Luhan grunts as someone prods his shoulder.  
  
“Luhan, get up.”  
  
He whacks away the hand that keeps on shaking him and buries his head under his pillow.  
  
“Luhan, you’re going to be late.”  
  
“Go away,” He grumbles but the shaking doesn’t stop and soon enough, Luhan is wide awake and glaring at Yixing who’s hastily buttoning up his shirt and fixing his hair.  
  
“Finally. Good morning,” Yixing greets him cheerily and Luhan wants to hurl the pillow at him for waking him up.  
  
“I don’t get up in another hour, Yixing.”  
  
Yixing only tosses a towel at him. “Go shower and change. We’re having breakfast at your coffee place.”  
  
Luhan just groans out loud. “We can have breakfast anywhere. Why does it have to be at my coffee place?”  
  
“So you don’t miss your shift.”  
  
He knows exactly why it has to be at that certain coffee place but doesn’t say anything. Instead, he swings his legs over the bed and starts stripping down as he heads to the bathroom to shower. It’s too early and Luhan is tempted to lock the bathroom door and sleep in the tub. But then he finds the tub wet from Yixing having used it earlier than him so he grumbles some more and finally showers.  
  
He’s fresh and a little less grumpy when he emerges. They head to the coffee shop where Luhan works every day and he and Yixing have croissants and cups of coffee before the shop opens. Yixing is allowed inside because Luhan allows him to. Perks from working there. Yixing is busy eating his breakfast all the while looking over his papers and then eyeing the counter that Luhan feels a headache coming on from seeing him do everything all at once.  
  
“Stop,” Luhan places a hand on Yixing’s arm, stopping him from sipping the creamer rather than his coffee. “You’re going to lose it before the day ends.”  
  
Yixing sees what he’s doing and chuckles.  
  
“You’re right.” He bites into his croissant, chews for a considerable amount of time and then swallows. “I’m just nervous.”  
  
Luhan rolls his eyes. “You’re the biggest wine supplier the city is going to get. What are you nervous about this meeting for?”  
  
“I’m not nervous about that.” Yixing eyes the counter and Luhan follows his gaze to where his co-worker is, wiping the coffee mugs for when the orders come in.  
  
“Oh was that today?” Luhan asks. “Then good luck. You need it.”  
  
Yixing looks so worried about this that Luhan wants to laugh.  
  
“Do you have any tips for me?” He asks.  
  
Luhan finishes his pastry before answering. “Be yourself.”  
  
Yixing scowls. “That’s not very helpful.”  
  
Luhan just shrugs and grins at him. That’s probably the most helpful tip he’s giving Yixing. His co-worker has been asking Luhan around about his “cute wine merchant friend” for the duration of Yixing’s stay and Luhan knows Yixing isn’t going to have any problems asking Minseok out today.  
  
But he doesn’t tell his friend that. He likes watching Yixing getting all flustered.  
  
“Okay, so,” Yixing breathes and then fixes his coat. “Wish me luck.”  
  
Luhan just shakes his head at how dramatic his friend can get and continues finishing his breakfast.  
  
Yixing does not ask Minseok out that day because of his “nerves” and only ends up making some very awkward conversation with the barista. Luhan only saves his ass when he sees him running late for his meeting across town.  
  
“I’ll see you in three days,” Yixing says, picking his stuff up and then giving Minseok a small wave. Luhan ushers his friend out the door and tells him to get that proposal signed when he comes back from his business trip.  
  
“So your friend’s really… weird. But cute,” Minseok says to him as he flips the sign on the door that says they’re open.  
  
“Yes,” Luhan chuckles knowing how that’s pretty much true.  
  
  


* * *

  
Working at the coffee shop he once worked at while he was still studying at the academy wasn’t really the plan after he was done being a meister. Not that when you’re done from training your weapon and letting Death take him, you’re done for good. There are a lot of opportunities for level three meisters and the most honorable and highest paying job you can get is being a professor at the academy. But Luhan has had enough of teaching for now.  
  
He wasn’t expecting to stay for long at the coffee shop. But Luhan had enjoyed the smell of coffee, the people that drift in and out of the place and the solitude of doing this kind of work that a year passed without him troubling over his future. His parents keep on sending him letters to come home and teach in their own town. But Luhan politely declined citing that the coffee shop can’t live without him. Which isn’t exactly true. The coffee shop is fine on it’s own with Minseok overseeing things. He just doesn’t want to leave.  
  
He’s not sure why. It’s like he’s waiting for something and that’s why he can’t leave yet. He’s still staying at his old quarters and never moved to find a smaller place. Sehun’s empty room has stayed empty ever since he left. Except for the last month when Yixing visited and Luhan has him stay over as he visited sponsors for his wine business.  
  
Life has been pleasantly dull for Luhan but he doesn’t complain.  
  
“I’m taking out the trash!” Luhan yells as he carries the garbage bags out of the backdoor of the coffee shop. They’re closing up soon. Minseok is just counting down the day’s sales.  
  
Luhan never really forgot his traits of being a meister. So when he carries out the trash and finds his skin prickling from the feel of someone watching him, he immediately turns around and scans the area. It’s late into the night and Luhan wouldn’t be surprised if some mugger decided to spring from the side.  
  
But nothing’s there. The night is still and there’s no one in sight. The alleyway is dark and quiet. Luhan doesn’t take his chances though and tosses the trash to be picked up in the morning and hurriedly goes back in.  
  
He only makes it just a few feet away from the door when a hooded figure stops him from entering. Luhan attacks this stranger first rather than wait to be attacked and he only stops wrestling him to the ground when the stranger shouts, _“What the hell Luhan it’s me!”_  
  
Luhan sits up and tugs away the hood on this man’s face and he doesn’t believe it when he sees his weapon wiping away a nasty cut on his lip which he gave him.  
  
“Sehun?” Luhan asks dumbly. Because it can’t be Sehun. His weapon isn’t due to come back in another year. If he wants to come back. Weapons don’t usually come back unless they want to. A life with Death is far more exciting and Luhan always believed Sehun would choose that kind of life and not come back so soon.  
  
But it is him. Tall and pale in the dark with the satchel Luhan gifted him when he left.  
  
“Yes, why? Who did you think it was?” Sehun cringes at the wound. “Man, this stings.”  
  
Luhan apologizes to him and helps him up. He gets him inside, introduces him briefly to Minseok who was just about to leave but not before looking at them strangely. It’s not everyday Luhan drags in a friend with Yixing as an exception. Luhan promises he’ll lock up instead and Minseok hands him the keys as he leaves.  
  
“Why were you even lurking in the dark?” Luhan asks as Sehun sits on a stool, squirming as Luhan tends to his cut.  
  
“I wasn’t sure if it was you- _Ow!_ ”  
  
“You are such a wimp,” Luhan says, grabbing Sehun’s chin to keep him still. “You used to have worse cuts than these.”  
  
Used to. As soon as he says that, Luhan looks at Sehun and finds him staring back at him.  
  
Luhan finds that he can’t breathe properly.  
  
It’s been a year. They say a lot of things can change in a year. Maybe they have. But for Luhan, it doesn’t feel like it. Sehun still brings about the same feelings he’s felt for him in a long while. Feelings that he didn’t used to be so sure about until he left him and he never got around to writing to him about it.  
  
At the thought of writing...  
  
Luhan smacks Sehun in the shoulder that his weapon flinches.  
  
“What was that for?!” Sehun yells, rubbing his shoulder.  
  
“You never wrote me back. For six months!” Luhan glares at him. “Jongin and Tao wrote Kyungsoo letters every month and you didn’t find the time to write me one?”  
  
“I was busy! Jongin and Tao were always sent on convenient missions. Mine was always inaccessible,” Sehun says. “Forgive me? I did miss you a lot.”  
  
And how can Luhan not forgive him?  
  
Luhan makes him a sandwich as Sehun fills the silence of the empty coffee shop. He’s apparently back for just three days on an errand for Death. They’ve spotted some new breed of witches on the north and Death wants the academy alerted to update the books and train the students well on these recent findings. They couldn’t write it in letters for fear of their instructions getting intercepted. So Death has sent Sehun and a bunch of other weapons to neighboring towns to spread the word.  
  
“So what’s it like?” Luhan asks as they leave. He makes sure they’ve cleaned up well and locked the doors before leaving.  
  
“It’s amazing out there,” Sehun begins as they both walk outside. “Mountains covered in snow. Fields with rows and rows of flowers. The night sky with nothing but stars. I should take you there sometimes. You’d like it better than the view up at the rooftop.”  
  
Luhan likes this. A trip with Sehun. Just the two of them again.  
  
“And how is it being a scythe?” Luhan asks.  
  
Sehun doesn’t have to answer out loud. Luhan can tell just how much Sehun loves being a scythe. He can see it in his eyes when he starts talking about fighting with Death and the other weapons and he can hear the excitement in his voice as he recalls story after story. He’s not done telling Luhan the rest of what he has been through when they reach their old quarters but he does cut it short.  
  
“You didn’t move?” Sehun asks as he inspects the place.  
  
“Naah,” Luhan replies. “I like it here.”  
  
“But you live alone.” Luhan sees him frown. “Even Kyungsoo went back to his hometown.”  
  
“Kris is still at the academy. Chanyeol’s still working at the hospital. I have my job at the coffee shop.” Luhan shrugs. “It’s no big deal. And your stuff is still here. I didn’t know where to send them. I don’t exactly have your address.”  
  
“Don’t bother. I have no plans of going home anyway.”  
  
Luhan smiles at him for that. He wouldn’t want Sehun to go back to his awful parents.  
  
He’s about to tell him he can shower first and use his room like always when he’s pulled into a hug and Luhan’s eyes widen as he feels Sehun’s arms wrap around him. It’s not like he doesn’t want this considering he did miss him very much. But Sehun being here is too sudden and he’s not ready to show him what kind of Luhan he has come back to even for just three days. He doesn’t want to scare him away nor does he want him to tell him anything so soon.  
  
So Luhan ends up pressing his body against his closer, gripping at the back of Sehun’s shirt tight as he rests his cheek near his chest without saying anything else. He missed him. He’s been living by himself for a year and he missed the sound of Sehun just living with him.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Sehun says. “I should’ve written. But every time I picked up a pen it just made me want to go back to you and I couldn’t.”  
  
Luhan laughs softly in his embrace.  
  
“I wouldn’t want you to come back so soon either. You still have a lot to learn from being a scythe.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Sehun then pulls away and Luhan is surprised to see him staring back at him intently.  
  
“Listen. I know I’m just here for three days but there’s something I have to tell you. Something I should’ve told you before I left.”  
  
Luhan nods. His heart is suddenly beating against his chest so loudly.  
  
“I have something to tell you too.”  
  
Sehun seems surprised at this.  
  
“But we’ll talk about it in the morning. Or the next few days,” Luhan says. Whatever they have to say can wait. Sehun looks so tired from his journey. “You need sleep.”  
  
At that, Sehun yawns making Luhan laugh.  
  
“Go to bed. You still have your room here.”  
  
Sehun gives Luhan one last tight hug and Luhan lingers in his arms before patting his back.  
  
“Good night Sehun,” He says as Sehun finally heads to his room.  
  
“Good night Luhan.”  
  
  


* * *

  
It’s Luhan who wakes first, a miracle really, and he rushes down the coffee shop to hand over the keys to Minseok and grab a few fresh bagels for him and Sehun to eat for breakfast. He asks Minseok if he can come in a little late today and Minseok allows him to since he closed up late last night.  
  
Sehun has grown. The last time Luhan has seen his weapon over a year ago, he was all bones and lean muscle. But as Sehun sits in front of him without his shirt on as he chews on his bagel, Luhan notes how much he has bulked up. He’s still tall and lean. But Sehun’s shoulders have grown even broader, his torso nicely sculpted, his jaw more defined and his arms more muscular.  
  
“What have you been doing over there?” Luhan asks out loud. Sehun chuckles and tells him about the fights and the training Death makes them do. He enjoys it a lot. Except for the meditation. He still hates that.  
  
“So there’s a few clothes that aren’t mine on my drawer. Are they yours? And there’s another used toothbrush by the sink. How many do you have?” Sehun asks.  
  
“Oh. Those are Yixing’s,” Luhan replies.  
  
Sehun looks up from his drink. “Yixing?”  
  
Luhan nods. “He’s been living here for awhile.”  
  
Sehun starts spreading cream cheese all over his bagel.  
  
“So are you guys… what, okay now?”  
  
Luhan smiles. “Yeah. We’ve settled our differences. He’s a great guy. I don’t really want to stop talking to him all because of what our stupid young selves did.”  
  
Sehun seems to be spreading a lot of cream cheese on his bagel.  
  
“And where is he?”  
  
“On a business trip. He’s coming back in three days.”  
  
“I see.”  
  
They don’t talk much after that since they’re both running late. Luhan has to go back to the coffee shop to help Minseok with the customers and Sehun has to get started on his errands.  
  
The next two days are busy and they haven’t gotten around to spending much time with each other as Luhan expected. Sehun stays late into the night at the academy, helping the old professors jot down notes of their recent findings and updating the registry of the type of witches they found. Luhan ends up falling asleep by the couch waiting for him to return and when he wakes up, he’s already in his bed and Sehun is gone for another long day.  
  
They still haven’t talked and Luhan is getting impatient. They’re running out of days spent together and he wants to know what Sehun wants to tell him. Luhan doesn’t want to get his hopes up but he is and he’s getting very anxious about it.  
  
On the the third day, Yixing arrives surprising Luhan at the coffee shop and Luhan congratulates him when he sees the signed papers in his hand.  
  
“Congratulations,” Luhan beams at him as they sit at a booth by the window. “You are now officially this city’s wine supplier.”  
  
Yixing thanks him as he sags in his seat from the relief of it all. Luhan orders him tea and fresh cookies. His treat.  
  
“I’ll be traveling back and forth now. Think you can still lend me Sehun’s room everytime I come visit?” Yixing asks.  
  
“Yeah sure. Or you can ask him that yourself. He’s here.”  
  
Yixing looks at him, surprised.  
  
“He’s here. Doesn’t he have another year to go?”  
  
“Death sent him on an errand so he’s here.” Luhan plays with one of the cookies. “And he also said he has something he wants to tell me.”  
  
Yixing takes the cookie away from him so he can look at his friend’s face.  
  
“And have you told him?” Luhan knows what he means.  
  
“No. I haven’t. I’m telling him today. I think. I’m nervous.”  
  
He has to tell him today. He has no other day left and he doesn't think he can tell him tomorrow in letters or the year after that.  
  
Yixing laughs. “And you were teasing me how nervous I was about asking Minseok out.”  
  
Luhan chuckles. “You should really ask him out before he grows old.”  
  
“I don’t think Minseok’s ever going to grow old but yeah, I will.” Yixing places the cookie back on the plate. “You really have to tell Sehun now. Before he leaves again.”  
  
“I know,” Luhan says and then looks at his friend helplessly. “But what do I say? What if I mess up? What if…”  
  
 _What if Sehun doesn’t feel the same way?_  
  
“Come on Luhan, even back then I can already tell how that kid feels about you. All protective and what not.”  
  
“He has to be protective. He was my weapon.” Luhan mutters.  
  
“Is,” Yixing corrects him. “He’s still your weapon. And do you really want another year to pass without you telling him anything?”  
  
Yixing’s right. He can’t let another year pass without saying anything.  
  
“It’ll be easy.” Yixing smiles. “You just go up to him, take his hand,” Yixing takes both his hands and Luhan laughs. “And you tell him, ‘Sehun, I lov-’”  
  
Luhan muffles his words by shoving a cookie in his mouth since the other customers are staring at them.  
  
“I get it, I get it. Not so loud.” Luhan dusts his hands off as Yixing starts chewing the cookie and swallowing the whole thing down.  
  
“I’m glad you got it.” Yixing looks at the counter. “Now, excuse me, I have to ask someone out on a date tonight. Hopefully he’s free and says yes and I don't throw up in the middle of asking.”  
  
“He is. We close at seven.” Luhan calls out after him.  
  
Yixing does end up asking Minseok out successfully without making a fool of himself like the last time and Minseok asks Luhan to close up earlier than usual so he can get the rest of the afternoon off. Luhan thanks him for this and heads home hoping Sehun would be there by now. He picks up a few of his favorites for dinner and decides that he’ll tell him tonight.  
  
When he arrives home and settles the food on the table, he notices a note by the kitchen counter. Picking it up, Luhan reads it and he blinks, not getting the message.  
  
 _I guess I’m too late._  
  
It takes a while for the message to sink in. And when it does, dread fills Luhan and he instantly checks Sehun’s room. He sees his bed fully made as always but he no longer sees his bags and his satchel.  
  
Sehun’s gone.  
  
Luhan rushes out of their quarters and up to the academy where he thinks he’s still there. But a couple of professors he passed by had said he left for the gates. Luhan hasn’t ran so fast in a long time. He rushes past the guards, showing them his ring that he’s a level three meister and he’s allowed to pass through without an escort. And he rushes down the path that Sehun could’ve taken.  
  
He sees his form from afar and he runs until he’s only a few meters away from him.  
  
“What is this?” Luhan calls out, panting. Sehun turns to him, surprised to find him out of the city’s gates.  
  
“Luhan? What are you doing out here?”  
  
Luhan ignores him and starts waving the note he left.  
  
“What is this? What do you mean you guess you’re too late?” He demands.  
  
Sehun looks at him like he’s crazy.  
  
“You ran out all the way here just to ask me that?”  
  
Luhan glares at him.  
  
“You said you had something to tell me. And now you’re leaving this- _this note_ to me? What is this Sehun? This is no different than just sending me a letter.”  
  
Sehun doesn’t seem to have a reply for that.  
  
“Sehun,” Luhan starts carefully. “What do you mean you guess you're too late?  
  
“I'm too late…” Sehun answers. “Aren’t I?  
  
“What does that mean?” Luhan asks impatiently.  
  
Sehun looks like he’s struggling to say something.  
  
“It means I… I came back because I thought I had a shot,” Sehun finally says. “But I saw… The clothes. And the toothbrush and… And you were sitting together in the coffee shop…”  
  
Luhan watches him look away and then breathe out deeply.  
  
“And I guess i'm too late.” When Sehun looks up, he’s smiling at him. Luhan doesn’t like it. It’s a sad smile. “And it doesn't matter. I'm happy for you. Really. It's no big deal.”  
  
Luhan thinks Sehun is an idiot. How can he be happy for something he obviously isn’t pleased about? And whatever he thinks he’s late for, he’s not. Luhan feels warm all over to know that Sehun would just back away if it means getting him to be happy but he also wants to hit him in the head because he’s just allowing this to happen.  
  
He is an idiot.  
  
“You're not too late.” Luhan calls out when he sees him about to turn around again. Sehun’s head snaps up to look at him. They're talking in stupid codes like fools but somehow Luhan knows he understands. They're both fools to understand all this kind of talk.  
  
“You're not late,” Luhan continues, walking towards him. “I’m not with Yixing so you’re not late. You're... early. Because i've always been…”  
  
Sehun is looking at him like he’s seeing Luhan for the first time and Luhan holds his gaze.  
  
“Or you know what, maybe you are too late. Because I waited.” Luhan stops himself. “No. Screw that. No one forced me to wait. I did that on my own. Which was stupid. So you're not late.”  
  
Luhan breathes in deeply, staring into Sehun’s eyes so closely now.  
  
“I'm not?” Sehun asks.  
  
“You're not.” Luhan repeats. “You're early. Or yeah, maybe late. But not too late.” Luhan is holding his breath at this.   
  
“You’re not too late,” He says again, hoping that Sehun gets it.  
  
He does. Sehun gets it and he nods, a small smile forming on his lips.  
  
“Okay,” Sehun says.  
  
“Okay,” Luhan echoes.  
  
The sound of a carriage passing by them has them snap back to reality and they realize they're outside the gates and this is hardly the setting for this kind of talk.  
  
“We'll talk about this when you get back,” Luhan says. “Next year or whenever. You probably need to leave by now and should be on your way.”  
  
Luhan turns around to leave when Sehun taps him on the shoulder.  
  
“Luhan?”  
  
Luhan turns around. “Hmmm?”  
  
Sehun is so close to him and the air in his lungs nearly give out when Sehun cups his cheek. His eyes slowly travel downwards to his lips and then back to his eyes, looking at him as if asking for some sort of permission. Luhan only glances back at his lips in reply before Sehun gets the message and he’s dipping his head down to meet him.  
  
It has been a very very long time since Luhan has been kissed. So long that he has forgotten the feel of it and how wonderful it feels to have someone else’s lips pressed to his own. His eyes close when Sehun kisses him and he savors the way this feels. How it makes the insides of his stomach flutter and how his legs feel like they're about to give way. Luhan doesn’t dare pull away as he basks in this feeling. This feeling of being in love and being giddy.  
  
He wonders what he had been worrying about. Of course Sehun felt the same way. He doesn’t know for how long and they really should’ve talked about this because this kiss, _God_ , Luhan thinks. What have they been doing all this time?  
  
Sehun pulls away from him and Luhan finally breathes.  
  
“I'm…” Sehun swallows and he looks so nervous about something. “I've never... Kissed someone before... So i'm not sure whether that was... Was that um...?”  
  
Luhan cringes and Sehun’s face falls.  
  
“It was that bad?”  
  
Luhan nods.  
  
“How bad?” Sehun asks.  
  
“Horrible.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Awful.” Luhan comments.  
  
"Oh,” Sehun says again. “Well, good thing you're my meister then. You can teach me."  
  
Luhan slaps him playfully on his chest. "If I had known you would be like this."  
  
"You wouldn't have kissed me back?"  
  
"I would've kissed you longer to shut you up," Luhan says.  
  
“Okay so maybe,” Sehun grins. “Maybe we should try that one more time.”  
  
It’s Luhan who reaches for him now and they kiss, their noses no longer bumping. Sehun seems to know what to do as Luhan coaxes him into it slowly. Luhan pulls back to breathe after awhile and he rests his forehead against Sehun’s and the next moment they’re laughing. Sehun has his arms around his waist and Luhan can’t seem to let go of him too, his arms around Sehun’s neck.  
  
Sehun asks if he can stay for dinner. Luhan says yes without a moment's hesitation. They don't have to wait for next year or whenever.   
  
They still have so much to work on and maybe even talk about but right now, all Luhan can think is that this is it.  
  
Sehun smiles at him and Luhan feels everything falling into place now.  
  
This is what living is going to feel like from now on.


End file.
